HEY GUYS!!

The best thing I ever learned about queerness after I came out as bi is that you don't need to apply the same rigid structure of straightness to it. Like, heterosexuality is pretty narrowly defined as "this not that" so when you come to terms with your queerness it's very easy to get caught up in the same paradigm but with different genders. You can get trapped in this lens of feeling like your sexuality has to be based on exclusion, and has to follow certain rules like your straightness did.

Queerness is about rejecting those rules! Not about tying yourself up in new rules. When you think you might be less-than-straight try not to rush to find a label. You might end up with a new set of rules you box yourself into.

People get really hung up on the labels side of things- "Wait, am I still a lesbian if I only like dating girls but I have liked one guy and I have crushes on fictional men?" "am I bisexual if I'm a guy who only likes girls who look like boys or am I gay if I like that and I like anal sex??"

Just experience for a moment, the freedom to see yourself as you are. Go through the world with an openness to your feelings. Gradually you can unlearn the "this not that" strict mentality and learn what you actually like. You'll start to see the world with fresh eyes. Maybe you find someone attractive who you had never considered before. Maybe you notice, as I did, that you find certain traits attractive regardless of gender or sexuality. The way someone speaks, the way they move, the way they treat others. In time you'll start to define your unique sexuality.

Try on labels like clothes. They're not who you are. They're just tools to speed up communication between you and others. Eventually you may find one that fits well enough to tell others about, and remember you can always change it later. Queerness is about the freedom to be yourself, and to take time to experiment and learn what that really means to you. That's kind of the beauty of 'queerness' that those in the community are always going on about. The freedom of getting to know yourself without restrictions.

How has no one called the yellow feather duster out yet?

How in the Freddy Mercury has no one yet pointed out that the yellow feather duster moment is a huge shoutout to one of the most Good Omens coded Queen songs of all time: I Want To Break Free.

I can't unsee it. This is now Gabriel's fight song. He's fallen in love for the first time and needs to break free. Just check out these lyrics if you've never heard it...

I want to break free I want to break free I want to break free from your lies You're so self-satisfied, I don't need you I've got to break free God knows, God knows I want to break free

I've fallen in love I've fallen in love for the first time And this time, I know it for real I've fallen in love, yeah God knows, God knows I've fallen in love

It's strange but it's true, yeah I can't get over the way you love me like you do But I have to be sure When I walk out that door Oh, how I want to be free, baby Oh, how I want to be free Oh, how I want to break free

But life still goes on I can't get used to living without, living without Living without you by my side I don't want to live alone, hey God knows, got to make it on my own

So baby can't you see I've got to break free I've got to break free I want to break free, yeah I want, I want, I want, I want to break free

With love, Your Ineffable Detective Agency

Special thanks to @lookingatacupoftea who's roof troubles directly led to this. Our other members include: @embracing-the-ineffable, @kimberleyjean, @theastrophysicistnextdoor, @maufungi, @somehow-a-human, @ghstptats, @havemyheartaziraphale, @dunkthebiscuit, and @251-dmr

i’m gonna say something controversial yet brave: sexuality labels are a convenient tool we use to define something that is undefinable

Coming to the conclusion that I was bisexual when I'm not actually attracted to anyone was kind of like when one of my friends asked if Iiked Marvel or DC and I said I didn't really have a preference for either without even thinking about the fact that I just don't care about superhero media the slightest

Watched Conclave last night. The emotional journey I went through thinking "oh this is just like Mean Girls haha" to "this is just Mean Girls" was insane

bonus:

don’t let anyone on this website call you cringe they literally have a tumblr account

Nautilus expedition live streams (+ their commentary) | 2024

Cool Aro and/or Ace Spec Resources + Other Stuff!!

This list is for ALL people regardless of your identity. This blog is a safe space for all types of aro and/or ace spec people. Hate will NOT be tolerated. Questions are okay! :)

Also! I can't fit all the cool things I found on this list, so I'll make another one in the future! :)

Cool things!

Are You on the Aromantic Spectrum (quiz)?

Are You on the Asexual Spectrum (quiz)?

Aro Ace Character Database

Aro Arrows

Aro-Owned Businesses

Aro-Recommended

Asexual Pride Friendship Bracelet Tutorial

Attraction Layer Cake

Books With Asexual Main Characters

Canon Aroace Characters

Canon Aro and Ace Characters

Crochet Pride Turtle Modification Guide

Free Asexual Bee Crochet Pattern

Free Asexual Flag Cross Stitch Pattern Ace of Spades

Free/Online Aromantic & Asexual Fiction

LGBTQ+ Flags in Minecraft - Banner Tutorial

Pride Patch Tutorials

Learning and Resources!

7 Tips For Coming Out As Ace

Ace/Aro Mythbusting

Ace & Aro Spectrum Definitions

Advice on Coming Out As Aromantic

A Guide to Allo Aro Inclusion in A-Spec Communities

Am I Demisexual If...

Aromantic Info Carrd

Aromantic Spectrum Wiki Stub

Asexual Advice Tumblr

Asexual Affirmations: Things That Don't Make You Any Less Ace

Asexuality and Disability

Asexual Spectrum Wiki Stub

Ask An Aromantic Tumblr

Bi-Oriented Aroace Carrd

List of A-Spec Identities & Info

Myths About Demisexuals

Oriented and Angled Aroace Carrd

Split Attraction Model

Types of Tertiary Attraction

What Is Graysexuality?

Why I’m Founding Disabled Ace Day

Queering The Narrative: Tropes to Avoid When Writing Asexual Characters (intended for allosexuals, not asexual authors)

People's Stories!

An Interview About Allosexual Aromantics

Aro/Ace Confessions Tumblr

Aromantic Coming Out Stories

Asexual Authors Discuss Why They Write and Their Experiences

Asexual Coming Out Stories

Asexual Disabled People Exist, But Don’t Make Assumptions About Us

Asexuality Exists Tumblr

Existing and Defying Stereotypes As An A-Spec Disabled Person

Gray-Romantic, Grieving, and Dealing with More Internalized Amatonormativity than I Thought (tw: internalized arophobia, abuse)

How Asexual and Aromantic People Observe a Day Dedicated to Love

If You Can See the Invisible Elephant, Please Describe It

I'm Aromantic and Asexual - And I Love Valentine's Day

Is It Possible For Me To Be Lesbian and Aroace at the Same Time?

I’ve Realized I’m Asexual but Have Internalised Aphobia, So What Now? (tw: internalized acephobia)

Lesbian Ace and Aro Perspectives

‘Not Broken’: The Struggles of Being an Aromantic Allosexual

Three People Who Identify as Asexual and Aromantic Explain What V Day Is Like For Them

What Is It Like Being Allo Aro?

Communities!

Reddit

r/aaaaaaaarrrrro (memes)

r/aaaaaaacccccccce (memes)

r/aaaaaaaspeccccccc (memes)

r/aaabatterycult

r/aaapeople

r/aaarrroooaaaccceee

r/aarrrooooooaaacceeeee (memes)

r/aceandaroart (art)

r/acearoautistics

r/aceconfessions

r/acefood (food)

r/ace_arosover30

r/acesoftwaregeeks (programming)

r/aceteens

r/aegoromantic

r/aegosexuals

r/agenderaroace

r/allo_ace

r/amiace (ask)

r/angledaroace

r/animace (anime/manga)

r/apothiromantic

r/apothisexual

r/arcsexual

r/aroace

r/aroaceadults

r/aroacebooks (books)

r/aroacechristianity (christianity)

r/aroacecommunity

r/aroacenby

r/aroaceflux

r/aroaceindia (india)

r/aroacememes (memes)

r/aroacepoly

r/aroaceteens

r/aroallo

r/aroandacelife

r/aromantic

r/aromanticasexual

r/aromanticcirclejerk (satire)

r/asexual

r/asexualcirclejerk (satire)

r/asexualdating (dating)

r/asexualgamers (gaming)

r/asexualgaymen

r/asexualindians (india)

r/asexuality

r/asexuals_lesbians

r/asexualmen

r/asexuals_in_love

r/asexualteens

r/askallosexual (ask)

r/askaroace (ask)

r/askasexual (ask)

r/biorientedaroace

r/biroace

r/biromanticasexual

r/cupioromantic

r/cupiosexual

r/dateademi (dating)

r/demiromantic

r/demisexuality

r/faceoface (photos)

r/fictoromantic

r/fictosexual

r/fraysexual

r/graysexual

r/greyromantic

r/greysexuality

r/heteroromanticasexual

r/lithromanitc

r/lithrosexual

r/mildly_ace (photos)

r/myrsesexual

r/orientedaroace

r/panromanticasexuality

r/placiosexualityu

r/sexfavorableace

r/sexrepulsed

r/taskforcealphaalpha

r/traaaaaaarrrrrrro (memes)

r/transasexuals

r/tripleabattery

r/quiromantic

r/quiosexual

Forums

Arocalypse

The Asexuality Visibility and Education Network

Demi Grace

Organizations

Ace & Aros

The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project

Ace Week

Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week

Asexuality Archive

Asexual Outreach

The Association for Asexuals in Denmark

AUREA

Resources For Ace Survivors

Discord (I don’t used discord so I haven’t verified if these are any good, but I choose the most popular ones)

Ace Homies

Ace Planet

Acing the Arrows

The Aro & Ace Café

Bows & Aros

For Creatives (Artists, Writers, etc.)

Aromantic Writing Month

Carnival of Aces

Carnival of Aros

Arospec Poetry Network

Aro Worlds

Videos

Asexuality 101 (playlist) (Haven't watch all the vids yet, but the ones I've seen seem pretty good)

Ways to Show Your Aro and Ace Pride

Tumblrs

(If I should remove any of these, let me know)

Acespec-Ed

ActuallySafe-For-Aro

Aro Humor

Asexual-Society

Asexual Spectrum Spector

AVENPT (Asexual Visibility and Education Network Project Team)

Fuck Yeah Asexual

Growing Up Aro

Perks of Being Ace

The Humorous Ace

Your Fav Is Aromantic

Inclusive Picrews

Heart Hold Character

Legitimate ID Maker

Little Guy Maker

Opossum Party

PotatoLord’s Persona Creator

Prideful Cats

Pride Icon Maker

Wervty’s Obscured Icon Maker

If you have any other cool aro and/or ace things you’d like to share, please let me know and I’ll add it to the list! :) Also, if there's anything I should remove, let me know (and please tell me the reason why)!

It's Ace Week!!

I've already talked about what it means to be asexual or acespec in a previous post, so this time let's go over why it's important to raise awareness about asexuality!

I've seen people say that my post have helped them figure out their identity, and it's always so touching! I'm so happy I could help out!

Hey, if you have half a minute and care about the LGTBQIA+ community in the EU, I'd suggest you take a look at this initiative to ban conversion therapies in the EU.

1 million people are required to sign, but there's barely 100k. The form takes less than a minute, it only requires your ID, name and surname.

Please, help spread the initiative so that it can reach the goal ASAP!