Latest Posts by everything-bagel-blog - Page 3

in the production of hamlet I was in there was about a week of rehearsal where we workshopped the idea of me (hamlet) playing a fife whilst strangling a guy around this part.

it didn’t make the Final Cut.

Just finished hamlet & had to share THIS

Eronoctosis!

Game Review:

Yet to finish as most of my friends can’t stand horror games but I got one to play for a bit with me!

I am not good at video games, like really bad. I have multiple issues that affect my coordination and hand movements but this game was accessible enough. It really only uses the mouse and WASD, plus it’s possible to pause in a safe starting place.

Mechanically, I adore the camera and flashlight. One player can use a flashlight to shine on and scare away monsters. The other, can banish them by taking photos (as long as the light shines for long enough on the monster!)

Visually, I love the twisting, pixelated, almost 2D till you get close enough map design.

Conceptually, I adore the trying to build this body objective (literally putting flesh on a skeleton) combined with the visceral, literally just body parts, monsters. It’s rated 18+, for, warning, pixelated genitalia. If that is something that isn’t a dealbreaker for you then, honestly, this game does a great job at derealising the biological.

Pros:

Free!

Co-op

Basic WASD and mouse controls

A variety of steam achievements

Pixelated visuals for distinct style

Cons:

When you die you have to completely restart

Apparently it only takes 20-30 minutes to play through in one go

Might not have the best replay value

Overall: 4.5/5

I think one reason Goncharov worked so well is that on tumblr you’re regularly being subjected to fandoms you’re not in and media you’ve never seen. I assumed my mutuals all just got really into some movie that I had no interest in and scrolled right past for a solid week before realizing it wasn’t real.

A brief history of roses

Dogrose: Wow I sure love having softly coloured petals and an easily accessible center for pollination. Horticulturalists: I am going to ruin your whole career and needlessly complicate your entire existence and future

soil creature stew

Humans are more sensitive to petrichor than sharks are to blood. So, we obviously already hunted all the soil creatures to extinction. I imagine they made a good stew.

Museums

Museum: Look what we found! Look what we found! Anyone: What is it? Museum: We don't know Anyone: Are you going to try and find out? Museum: Absolutely not - we're putting in a cardboard box Anyone: THEN CAN YOU AT LEAST PUT IT BACK WHERE YOU FOUND IT

oh how existing is akin to screaming

pump up the volume

Mass-production

Today: Mass-production is the death of quality - a scourge of the modern age! The literal, classical Romans: What are you talking about we love our identical friendship cool army swords

How to make soup

This is not a recipe. Soup requires no recipe. Soup is soup. All you must remember is that food is love and food is for sharing. Now onto the recipe.

Whenever you prepare soup, you must tend to it. Unwatched stoves are the most common cause of housefires. What? Did you expect me to speak of the loneliness of unattended soup? I need not speak of unattended soup. You know what happens when you leave soup unattended. You will not like what happens when you leave soup unattended.

That's right - possibly a housefire.

Start with liquid - stock or water will do. If you are adding cream to the soup, do not add it yet, it does not do well with extended boiling. Next, find your meat, if you consume it. The bones are the best, and a chicken carcass is my favourite to start with, although lamb will always work wonderfully after hours of boiling and skimming off fat repeatedly. Here, you must extract all the flavour from the bones and leave them hollow like an old tree where you might find fairies - or a possum - there is no difference really. The meat should fall of the bones and swim in the water. Now, you add the chopped-up root vegetables. Carrots, potatoes, swede - whatever takes long to cook. Do not forget your grains - barley and rice are delicious additions to any soup, soaked for hours to absorb flavour. Heat this on a low heat with the lid on for a long time; it will not overflow. Turn off the heat and go to bed now. The soup and you both need rest. Continue to heat it the next morning. Add whatever else you wish (now or earlier even) - salt, pepper, leak, onion, garlic, basil, sage, thyme - it matters not to the hungry soup.

Serve the soup and share the soup. A soup ladle is designed to cradle the soup like you should cradle the ones you share the soup with. Gently.

Some may try to tell you that the soup is bland. That it has no substance and is not a meal worth treasuring or even cooking. Pay this no mind. There are many places, many times, many families, where not much was to be had. Tough meat and tougher vegetables were made soft and spread further with the love and time taken to craft them into soup. Whatever you have, it has always been worth taking pride in the dinner you serve. To sleep with quietened bellies is to sleep full of love.

To eat soup is to find comfort in whatever you have in the pantry or fridge or garden. To share soup is to find comfort in those around you.

Lady Macbeth

Lady Macbeth: I am a queen. *The king of Scotland existing* Lady Macbeth: I will be a queen.

food and poetry

I have a coworker who is from the same place I used to live in a different country. She is one of the nicest people I have ever met. She shares her food with me, the food her mother in law made. These delicious meals that are nothing like what I eat at home.

I told her I liked writing and she was thrilled to ‘know a real author’ and it made me so happy. I’m going to print out a short story so she can read it.

She told me that she writes poetry in her native language. I do not have the skill for poetry, and I cannot understand her’s. With food, mouth can taste what she shares with me. With poetry, neither my ears nor eyes can ever understand this though.

the poems already write themselves at this rate.

I will actually go insane. Never in my life have I disagreed more with Ryan. And i generally believe in ghosts and ghoulies. But this? This is where I draw the line. strawberry pie is terrible. strawberry and rhubarb pie is where it’s at.

He's 100% correct.

Flash and Crash

OMG SRSLY??? I watched the video, then went on tumblr and looked up wish and saw your meme

thanks again to coleydoesthings for keeping me aware of fandoms everywhere

I've watched so many youtube videos on wish now it's probably not a good thing lol

Srsly the coleydoesthings video is doing damage to my heart

like this is what I wanted this is what I needed

I've watched so many youtube videos on wish now it's probably not a good thing lol

this is me with every piece of media I’ve ever consumed

I will list them now

Young Dracula (seasons one and two only)

All the Lego ninjago tv show episodes I consumed exclusively in Spanish (I don’t speak Spanish)

the inheritance cycle??? That really long thing

all the podcasts! The midnight burger, welcome to nightvale, hello from the hallow woods, Sherlock and co, etc idk

Danny phantom

any Richard siken poetry

I don’t know anymore, how does tumblr even work, I’m just yelling into a void and I love it

having short-term memory is like. this book profoundly affected me. that show bared my soul. i don’t remember a single thing about it. but it did

Lucifer Morningstar

Feat: random photo from the interwebs

He’s so silly I love him

rubber ducks!!!!

everyone’s already said he’s autistic I’m going to say so too

i swear once I actually finish the show I’ll be out here with character analysis

BUT FOR NOW

YOU GET ME FILLING UP MY RELATIVELY NEW BLOG WITH THIS BS

YOU SHOW ME AN AUTISTIC SHORT KING WHO LIKES DUCKS AND IM DONE FOR

srsly can I wrap him in a blanket covered in rubber ducky patterns and feed him some chicken soup and then apple crumble

Lace-making

Lace-making: So detailed, so fine - such skill shall surely be preserved for centuries to come! The rich: I love this lace and I am rich - so bury me in this The king: Think of the wool trade - I'm making all burial shrouds be woolen by law! Be sheep & do as everyone else does: The lace: Oh hi, I only exist know in old graves - and you don't know how to make me because you chose wool over my beauty The lace: If you stop paying attention to me for even a moment I shall perish like your loved ones I embrace long after you could

well IM eating sheet metal and you are missing out my friend

metal is so fucking good I'm eating it

Ryan: We are not here to hurt you. We just want to communicate Shane: SCRATCH MY NIPPLES Ghosts: ... I think we have different definitions of communication

look at this loser who’s never had a strawberry crumble - they all do that

Imagine a Star Trek type food replicator that lacks an internal library of approved outputs and instead uses a generative language model to figure out what you're asking for. People having to do Midjourney-style prompt crafting to get the meals they want out of it. Abusing the system by describing things that absolutely are not food in ways which circumvent the safeguards. Occasionally it produces something that tries to eat you back which it insists with perfect confidence is in fact a strawberry crumble.

Beowulf

Hrothgar: Beowulf! I'm so glad you're here! Finally, you can slay the monster Grendel! Hrothgar: Beowulf where is your sword? Beowulf:... Hrothgar: Beowulf please tell me you brought a sword.

On a hot air balloon, September 21st 1783

Sheep: Dear heavens, there is fire. What is happening. Rooster: Hey, hey, hey, watch this. Duck: Why are we here Sheep: WHY ARE WE FLOATING?!!! Why am I here?!!! *The sheep was chosen because it was believed to be a reasonable approximation of a human's physiology and psychology*

I imagine the rooster and duck were chosen because, presumably, birds would remain calm when flying in a hot air balloon.

Someone show me a rooster that has ever been calm.

Nettles (alive & dead)

Nettle: Fear me for I have the sting of the bee and none of its' glass cannon character Dead Nettle: Attack of nerves I as me be cognizant of the acidity concerning the queen and nary one as to its' lens artillery DNA

Nettles (alive, dead) and dock leaves

The stinging nettle (Urtica dioica): A bee sting in plant form. Both give you acidic stings, but whilst a bee will die after a single sting, the nettle holds no such melodrama. Importantly, the underside of the nettle has no stinging needles - using this, a nettle leaf can be folded and eaten. Quite delicious, but like oysters, it is best to only chew them just enough to experience the flavour. Unlike oysters, it is an established tea.

The dock leaf (Rumex obtusifolius): The apologetic, unassuming, elder sibling of our funny little trio. Never too far behind the stinging nettle, growing in the same habitat, it is a welcome gift for the unlucky or unwary. Simply crushing it's flat, broad leaf, arranged in small clumps, low to the ground, and rubbing the remains on the sting will greatly ease the pain. Unfortunately, as some kind of earthy punishment for irresponsible agricultural practices, or maybe it's simply prone to seasickness, it did not accompany the stinging nettle on its torment to Australia.

(Important note: it is NOT a certified doctor, and, in fact, does not hold any kind of medical certificate or degree).

The dead nettle (Lamium purpureum): Surprisingly, edible, and harmless enough. It's pretty pink-ish-purple flowers will ruin its disguise in certain seasons, along with its ever-present diminutive size. The dead nettle relies on the terrifying reputation of the stinging nettle to warn away anyone and anything. Yet, it you touch one, you will find no sting. Like if the spirit of the plant it pretends to be manifests in that sting, it finds itself lacking something it will never achieve. However, for the dead nettle, once that sting is proven absent, it's likely already dead - possibly uprooted for its uncanny skill of growing in driveways.