ihave16knives

Latest Posts by ihave16knives

Catch Up Tag

tagged by @flownwrong (<3)

Last song I listened to: Last.fm says it's Phtalates by Uboa. who knows how many times i tried to get into this exact album with no much success

Favourite colour: i'd say blue and all its hues

Currently watching: rewatching BrBa + watched first season of better call saul yeeeeeee

Last movie: i honestly don't remember leeeets say it was either brokeback mountain or the power of the dog bc i saw both of these in one day but i don't remember the order

Currently reading: The Road by cormac mccarthy and animal farm by george orwell and some horror story from r/nosleep (yes at the same time yes i fail spectacularly at keeping my attention on at least one of these for more than 5 minutes)

Coffee or Tea: savage question. i mostly drink tea throughout my day but i will die without my iced lattes or espresso tonic. i'd say. energy drinks. monster energy strawberry dreams

Current obsessions: rdr2 DUH i am not THAT insane as i used to be less than a month ago but this is still the thing that i think the most about

Last Googled: gustav gun + was gale brba was in love with walt like you don't just gift leaves of grass to your colleague whom you adore gale i know what you are

Last thing you ate and really enjoyed: macdondalds beesechurger

Currently working on: NOT DYING + ,my work tasks + not dying I GUESS idk my anxiety is through the roof this week i got nausea just from calling my riding school to book a lesson tomorrow please let me crawl under a rock and stay there until the end of times

im not tagging anyone!!!!!!!! because i am anxious. if you want to participate you might take it from my blogf or idk

Oh ok so it turns out ive been borrowing grief from the future ! it turns out ive been preparing to lose the things i love rather than basking in the light of them while they last. Maybe i should nt do that

saw the original

 and had to make a few alterations

the holy grail types of fanfic

people defending mary calling her a "master manipulator" sarcastically don't understand their dynamics with arthur at all i'm afraid

a person doesn't have to be a "master" in toxic behavior, people manipulating and hurting others are not always do that consciously and with clear intent. i do believe that mary manipulates arthur, tries to get on his emotions, bringing up their past, her dad and her dad's opinion on arthur - idk she clearly still holds some feelings for him and i'm sure that she doesn't know how to express her frustration, pain, fear for jamie and her dad better.

but that doesn't make her a good and innocent person and let's not forget her commentary about the girls in camp - i have A LOT of issues with that one. it was written in a letter, meaning that this jab at arthur's family was intentional. she had time to think her letter through, and still decided to insult people dear to her ex she supposedly still loves? misses? like ok go on i guess.

her constant remarks about how bad of a person he is, the "i'd have had you hanged a long time ago" line, that just doesn't sit right with me at all. she's a good character and plays an incredibly important role in the game and in arthur's history as a character, but trying to say that she's good and pure and did nothing wrong ever at all is just plain INCORRECT and i will die on this hill

Down the Spinal Ladder - art by Santiago Caruso

actually wait no i WILL elaborate. i am myself taking it with a grain of salt because i am no psychiatrist + there are too many ways to interpret any character in this game but my key arguments are:

• horribly traumatic childhood, then years and years being completely alone. living through his formative years without the crucial component: actual and genuine connection. banging my head on the wall as we speak

• sudden and powerful anger outbursts. sometimes justified, but what was that chair scene lmao

• the campfire monologue? evident of his feelings of detachment, emptiness, failing to see any purpose in life or in himself

• he absolutely has a favorite person in the gang lol

• i tend to project on my favorite characters a lot so he is practically me period

charles smith, the bpd king

charles smith, the bpd king

charles and albert is an interaction I would love to see... 1) charles would be so down with albert's mission and 2) albert heaping praise about arthur's involvement to someone arthur knows would be funny. especially if he is there to hear it lol

daily affirmations

i am the unkillable faggot

i can exist in grocery stores

i have the shittiest music taste in any room

i have a gun

i hate taking western riding lessons because the club boards in a Serious sportsmanship school so i am constantly surrounded by huge, glossy, powerful purebred horses. it was a goddamn miracle that i was able to concentrate on my learning process and the trainer's commands while sharing the arena with a clydesdale (i haven't seen one irl before). same with friesians like holy shit

waiter! waiter! more men with their tits out please!

[oc] please don't

Okay, here’s an interesting question. What hobbies do you guys have that wouldn’t be apparent from your online presence? Like something you spend a lot of time doing or thinking about beyond whatever you post on your blog.

think im gonna record my horsemanship achievements here as well because why the hell not

today i was super late to the lesson, like 30 minutes late (not my fault), but performed really well on a horse i didn't know personally yet (i told the trainer that i love him already, he's just so calm and steady and she was like LMAO it might be only you who thinks like that, maybe yout vibes just match. (i personally believe that it's just two blonde queens (gender neutral) maximising their joint slay cause)

top points are: i am absolutely calm when on horseback, that's another problem i'm probably gonna talk about later, but i had my fear issues

i FINALLY use only my calves. not hips not knees not my fucking back to push him forward, i have a heavy leg so my calves are sore rn but i'll work on that (western tomorrow, yay)

idk what happened but my ass didn't bounce on gallop, maybe i finally learnt how to roll my shoulders back and keep my back steady I HONESTLY HAVE NO IDEA, i'll see what happens next lol

the idea i get from all this is that learning two styles at the same time fucking slays, even if i'm trying to stop an english-ridden horse by pushing my legs forward lol

also i'm fucking cool that's also important

so i've been playing a game

I can't with how weak Arthur looks in this scene, sliding down the wall, wheezing, going completely limp for a moment before Abigail gives him his knife. Not to mention the pained face and small nod before Abigail has to pull him up with both hands.

Red Dead Redemption 2 was so real for creating the most in-depth, realistic clothing system I've ever seen in any game, and exclusively using it on burly, unhygienic men.

You choose every layer, every accessory, with dozens to hundreds of each to choose from. You can go in and fine-tune minute details like whether or not to roll up the shirt sleeves, or button the collar, or whether to wear your pants under your boots. These clothes get dirty in real time depending on what you do in the game. Mud, dust and blood linger unless washed off. Every garment has a warmth rating based on its material, and the game calculates what temperatures an outfit is suitable for based on the combined total. Dressing too cold or warm for the weather causes health debuffs.

You can choose which way he parts his hair, and whether he gels it. If you eat too much he gets bulkier and gains a double chin, and if you eat too little he can go underweight and get all bony and sallow. Both of these states come with stat changes. His hair and beard grow in real game time, and you need to routinely style and shave his facial hair if you want any style other than a full Santa. You need to bathe him regularly or people will start commenting on his BO, and he'll start visibly appearing filthy long before that. He sunburns in the sun, and in the heat he becomes slick and glossy with sweat.

This shit is IN DEPTH. It blows the customization systems of actual fashion-centric games like tf2, Monster Hunter and Splatoon out of the water in every regard. They honestly look basic in comparison. It's a paradigm shift for sure once you experience RDR2's level of customization. Everything else starts to feel smaller.

The player character all this customization is applied to, and I simply cannot stress this enough, is a 36 year old, 6'3" smoker weighing well over 200 pounds, with facial hair thicker than a sheepdogs, forearms like gnarled tree trunks and a dark, dense forest of body hair covering every reasonable surface. His skin is pocked and marred with scars from a rugged, nomadic lifestyle, and his teeth are the colour of cornbread. He has a thick southern accent, is a known mean drunk and knows how to skin pretty much any North American animal. He has never worn deodorant, flossed or moisturized. He eats canned beans, fruit and the like by simply pouring them into his mouth and gulping, often while walking or riding a horse at full gallop.

I can think of NO better use case for such customization. Not some fresh-faced little twink, not some busty anime babe. Just a gross, hairy, unwashed homeless dude with crippling self esteem issues and a chest broader than a barrel laid lengthwise. A non fashion-centric game, certainly a non-fashion centric character, but for some reason the best clothing and customization system ever concieved, bar none. What the fuck.

"You can’t separate us, not unless we’re willing to do so."

playlist for lh!arthur and it's just kasabian

'The Red Tapestry'. Jaime Corum. 2011.

About

that's it that's my about because i am kinda sorta trying to move here fully so um if someone decides to follow. yeah

they/them, 26, Al/Alex, bi nb if that even matters

horse guy (love horses. taking lessons in both english and western riding styles as for now) 

rdr2 guy (seriously this game consumed my mind like a brainworm and refuses to leave) 

music guy (i love music. metalhead (black/doom/sludge/post/core/prog mostly but i am Open to any genre from kpop to thrash to the latest sabrina carpenter's single). i generally just fw music on a whole another level y’all won’t understand (and if you do i’m glad to discuss). my last fm is here

i don’t produce much except for my own ramblings and maybe screenshots and stupid jokes but you Might encounter the rarest ever species of writing and art here. (no promises they’re Rare and Shy and Nocturnal) 

proship through and through, pro fiction, pro anything that stays as fiction and doesn’t actually hurt anyone irl (no brother //g/n you getting triggered and failing to block the triggering content to not see it ever again doesn’t count as hurting) 

i am friendly and open for conversation so if you ever wanna shoot me a dm or an ask go ahead 

will be updated when i come up with my Own Personal Tags and shit idk.

Andreas Gering (German, 1892-1957, b. Nuremberg, Germany, d. Ibid) - Der gute Kamerad (The good Comrade), 1917, Etching and Aquatint in gray-blue on Vellum Cardboard

💯 but its 000 for when something's fuckall

Micah, always with the scar

this is an older drawing but I realised I never posted the finished version of it on here.. strange. but here it is.