Get a load of this guy!
89 posts
just woke up from the weirdest dream where i tried (and failed) to convince god to bring my parents back to life. i was fr like this:
“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”
2,121,566 people are not Amanda and counting!
We’ll find you Amanda.
im taking media away from some of u guys until you can pass a 6th grade literary analysis test
“Losing your virginity” just bc you had sex sounds like a skill issue. Like, I’ve had sex, but I kept mine.
Dark Souls: God is senile, forcibly retire him.
Dark Souls 2: Lich King Cersei Lannister tricked you into doing her dirty work or Treebeard with the One Ring beats your ass.
Dark Souls 3: Parry all you want, you can’t parry the feels.
Sekiro: Swordsman hatches from grandson, shoots you in face.
Bloodborne: Local paraplegic regains use of legs specifically to kick your ass. Failing that, the moon does it for him.
Elden Ring: Kill God’s malesona and pet amoeba.
you heard him
love the red on this one. real
im literally forever obsessed with this because it implies the following:
The Rapture, as described by Christian Evangelicals, has happened
Parents witnessed their son disappear during The Rapture, but remained atheists anyway (based)
Instead of sinners and nonbelievers going to hell or getting killed, they just... stay on Earth.
Dark Souls: God is senile, forcibly retire him.
Dark Souls 2: Lich King Cersei Lannister tricked you into doing her dirty work or Treebeard with the One Ring beats your ass.
Dark Souls 3: Parry all you want, you can’t parry the feels.
Sekiro: Swordsman hatches from grandson, shoots you in face.
Bloodborne: Local paraplegic regains use of legs specifically to kick your ass. Failing that, the moon does it for him.
Elden Ring: Kill God’s malesona and pet amoeba.
why is this bot named like a 15th-century European noblewoman… deepest regrets, Lady Elenor of Weidenbach, but I shall have to decline your offer of courtship…
why is this bot named like a 15th-century European noblewoman… deepest regrets, Lady Elenor of Weidenbach, but I shall have to decline your offer of courtship…
further evidence toward my thesis that a big part of fromsoft's games is that the devs are all massive trolls and masters of physical comedy
(i wanted to add this elden ring video from twitter to a reblog of another post but i forgot you cant do that so im making a post about it)
original tweet
collection
had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing
silly lil pot boi, he is not very happy
5 ibuprofen 2 garlic
mr krabs’s license to kill expires tomorrow
At least they got the autopilot working correctly
i need to know every language immediately
I don’t even know how to explain how much this post means to me I straight up cried laughing the first time I saw it and it still makes me laugh every time I see it. it’s been months
This is genuinely hilarious to me