luck1998

Latest Posts by luck1998

Impression

Born in a less than ideal situation.

Having to find a way to elevate when you only see devastation.

Learning to be a better person when you only see questionable foundations.

And don’t you dare think differently.

You’ll be singled out and shamed.

Stay in a child's place is all they paint until it’s stained.

What you speak will cross everyone's ear frames.

Can’t even be confined to a parent.

Your feelings will be displayed on a canvas and they wonder why our trust vanished.

Now opening up is so phantom.

Their lack of loving, patience, and directions makes us less equipped for future relations.

Choosing yelling over communication.

Leaving us with no understanding of our transgressions.

Not knowing who we become is a reflection of their lack of preparation.

Forcing us to grow up too early.

Not mentally but with responsibilities.

Hindering our possibilities.

Encasing us in their own Insecurities.

Highlighting similarities from a parent with ongoing hostilities.

Basing our capabilities on theirs.

That ain’t fair.

We ain’t ask to be here, we’re products of two toxic pairs who don’t know how to actually care.

Ain’t saying the love ain’t there but there’s certain ways a child needs to be love that parents are unaware.

My energy is priceless but lately I been letting everyone pouch in like Tyson.

I was clueless that I was investing in sourceless Entities.

Allowing deposits from insignificant funds when I been giving out fortunes.

Extortion from the people I hold dear.

Depleting my shares for who would vanish when I need little bit care.

I been facing despair when no one is near.

I’ve become accustom to disappearing instead of asking for help cause for me, no one else is truly there.

A burden I came to bear but still lend a hand when I hear someone else cries.

Maybe it’s how I was raised.

My mother instilling me with generous ways.

Or I’m just a people pleaser that doesn’t know how to say no.

The most loyal or most stupidest.

A stewardess in pleasing but never in dismissing.

Maybe it’s a mission from divinity.

Embedding a large amount of empathy within me.

A coping mechanism to avoid my own vacancy.

Steadily engulfing myself in everyone else’s misery.

Knowingly knowing that the energy I receive take toll on me but I continue to indulge in things that’s no good for me.

I’m the biggest danger to me then any weapon formed against me.

Self inflected wounds that could of been avoided.

Mental trauma that still need to be sorted before else where involvement.

I just want to be dormant but everybody keep calling.

Truly love

My phone don’t ring but everybody loves me.

When I’m distant, all I hear I’m moving funny.

Questioning my silence but my body language speaks loudly.

If you loved me you would see that my mind is cloudy.

That my eyes is forecast for rain but I’m forcing delays.

That my energy is off it’s relay.

That my demons are having a field day.

I can’t shake the thoughts I’m having these days but I aspect someone who loves me to detect.

Sometimes you have to detach to reattach.

Isolate to medicate but no one understands that.

They want you to shine through all your darkness.

Evaluate them while you’re deteriorating on the inside but they love you.

How could you love me and not sense my imbalance.

Maybe it’s the mask I’m wearing but I thought love can conquer all.

Why couldn’t your love slip through the cracks?

Have a flanking attack or is that to much to ask?

Maybe you don’t truly love me.

Purest

Your the purest skin but treated like the latter.

And black man we scattered.

My perception of us has shattered.

We suppose to be kings who uplift our queens but lately we been leading them to disaster.

And all I hear is laughter.

Jokes and games like we all wasn’t in chains.

We should be put to shame but we can never see the errors in ways.

We’re men, this how we’re train.

We received praise for what slay.

Never taught restraint.

How to deal with pain.

This is probably why we reciprocate in harsh ways.

Projecting it on our beautiful reflections.

Choosing lighter complexion cause they don’t call us out on our lack of direction.

I will never understand this disconnection.

I will never get the lack rage.

This boil the blood in my veins.

How we allow them to stand alone through all their agony and pain.

Down play all their accolades cause we hate to see them be great.

Hate see them achieve more than what we can equate.

What we bring to plate would deflate any mate who choose to engage.

Instead of upgrade we display hate to heal our ego that’s already in fragile state.

Then when we flip the tape and blame it on their traits.

The way we manipulate, irritates.

It’s time for a change of pace.

Shame

All I feel is shame.

Suppose to be the next big thing.

It was all in my genes but I can’t fulfill that dream.

It got me going through the motions.

Handing out potions.

During a lot of healing so I won’t feel.

A coping skill to distract me from the chills I get.

It goes hand and hand with the liquor I sip.

Hiding behind it’s lit so I can keep pouring it.

Drowning myself cause I’m tired of the reality of it.

It keeps downing me and I keep doubting me.

Overthinking cause I don’t know what you think of me.

Do you hear my pleads as I scream.

Or is it only in my mind?



Tell me three completely random things about yourself.

I’m 6’4, a psychology major and I want to bring people together through writing!

Fatherless

You set the stage then vacated but your shadow still eclipses me.

Your path or mine, them lines are blurred.

I want to walk in your footsteps but who am I personally?

I took my mind from my body and thought how come we never spoke but I’m always talking to you.

I don't cry but its like I'm always shedding tears for you.

I started balling so we can be closer.

Looking to stands but every time, your seat empty.

Deep down, I'm empty. 

Suppose to be here but shots rang out.

Your bloody body, dropping, replaying like it’s the gamer winner.

Another black fatherless child.

It’s endless.

Senseless.

They asking why I’m so distant.

You was put in hearse before I learned how to mourn.

I’m still so torn.

Colorist or preferences

Hiding behind what they prefer

Knowing deep down they can’t stand someone of a less shade.

This goes back when we were slaves or when we were in caves.

When our pigment protected against the suns rays.

As the sun caressed our skin with elegance.

The glow of gods and goddesses.

Maybe they hated it.

So they punish.

Bashed it until we lost pride if it.

Losing our ancestral essence.

We were Kings and Queens but now they only see us as good in the sheets.

Or anger at its peak.

It’s no in between.

Never see what’s underneath.

We’re human beings.

Regardless of what they see.

Midnight

At night is when the darkness come to flirt.

It’s jealous of your joy.

It hopes to destroy with no remorse.

In torch your thoughts.

Exposing your faults.

Depleting your source.

Your endorphins running thin.

Walls closing in.

These mental wars has no end.

Want to scream for help but no one understand.

Nor do they care to give a damn.

This pain is in command.

Now you’re sitting in a pool of your own sweat.

Living through all your regrets.

Within yourself you digress.

Your stress take center stage.

Putting on a show for the ages.

Taking a bow for your devastation.

Lost

Living in the present but stuck in the past.

Reminiscing of the time we had but these memories are only dreams.

You was gone before they can be.

Gone with the wind but I hear you in the breeze.



Even though I can’t remember how you sound.

Being your son, I’m proud but it comes with a lot.

Your image is splattered across my life and I fear that I can’t complete the portrait.

I look just like you but I can’t be you.

I’m shackled to you cause I’m a product of you.

I struggle to step out of your shadow cause you’re my light even in the darkness.

I wanna shine for you.

Fragile

I know you’ve been hurt.

Years of your emotions being dispersed.

Hardly handled with care.

All your fears being amplified from a significant that’s suppose to crystallize your worth.

Instead they impede your growth.

Leading you on when they have an unquenchable thirst.

Dragging your feelings through the dirt while they plant seeds all across the earth.

Soul ties from holes you never been expose to.

Now you’re all vulnerable.

Hiding behind a blunt or a few.

Taking shots to escape the view.

Blacking out so you can’t feel what you been through.

Your pain is visible.

I can see it all in your eyes.

It’s okay, you let it out.









yo. tell me about where you from. if you don't mind

I’m from New York

We’re so evolved but so primitive.

Powerful but still so broken.

A part of us is still stolen but it’s like we chosen to forget.

Masking it with hate and anger.

Our spirit is in danger.

Corrupted by different pigments or higher shades.

We are caged.

Not with bars but in our minds.

Boundaries higher than the Everest climb.

They would hate to see us at our prime so they attacked our pride.

Demoralize.

Then cast a gaze over our eyes.

And we think we’re alright cause we have fabric from different lands or material from deep within the land.

Unknown that we’re in quicksand without a branch .

Anxiety

Anxiety, enlighten me.

Why are you always attacking me?

When I’m at my highest, you bring me down to my lowest.

I fall to pieces.

My thoughts in shambles.

Inside me, uneasy.

Please take it easy.

You been apart of me for so long but do me so wrong.

You’re so toxic and you don’t even hide it.

Proud to belittle me since I was little me.

I want to hide with in me but I’m so silly, that’s were you always meet me.

You’re so needy.

Becoming more and more greedy.

Appearing when I make appearance.

Room full of people and I see you glaring.

Waiting for my emotions to start flaring.

I wish we can start sparring, I’m tired of this feeling.

I need some healing.

This was so beautiful

dear daughter, this is for the day when you first stand in the shower, with eyes producing more water than the shower itself, and try to scrub your skin off. using all your might as if they were the chains you were once bound too and desperately need to free yourself from. firstly honey, your black is neither burden nor boundary it is a key that reveals so many treasures if you’d just persevere until you find the right doors. what are you trying to do with your caramel coloured skin of soft buttery texture that has been churned through generations of hardships to produce this fine product of supreme quality called you? don’t you know your hair is an enchanted forest, each kink and curl creating it’s own unique magic to keep your well deserved crown in place? my baby, you are royalty and ignore the white’s dictionary definition of humility, it is not stripping yourself of your crown to avoid being the subject of jealously and envy. that big, beautiful forehead of yours is filled with a lifetime of substantial knowledge and always be proud of your luscious lips that reflect the enormity of love you have to share. don’t be afraid of your already thick thighs in preparation for the day they become your own daughter’s pillow to cry into and confess all her secrets too. finally my star, have i not always showed you how bright you glow, so why did you allow them to burn you out? if i could not make you love yourself, open your eyes to see how beautiful you truly are then how could you give them permission to teach you how to hate your black then learn the lesson so well?

Black Man

I’m black but also human.

I’m a man but I also have emotions.

Can’t show no fear but I’m freighted.

A bullet can come my way, from a cop or op that looks just like me.

Deep down, I struggle with that notion.

I want to see everyone grow.

Be the best that they can be but we fight these burdens of everyday life.

It’s layered on top of us.

Layers that prevents us from seeing our true self.

They say we’re hiding but we’re buried.

Suffocating, gasping for air but no one hears.

Or do they even care cause we’re men that are black and the odds are always stacked.





Darts

Forever playing darts with my heart.

Dicing it to pieces.

Lost in the blackness.

Acting so wouldn’t see the sadness.

You was the captain of my madness.

Taking my breath away.

Now I can’t feel nothing.

Haven’t crushed in a minute.

Can’t get the same high.

The L different but the smoke keep showing you.

Then I realize y’all one in the same.

Only here for the moment.

Super Women

You can be vulnerable, that don’t make you weak.

Wearing a cape for so long you forget about your needs.

Your soul needs to feed.

What you see on the feeds only impedes,

Take your own lead.

Dismiss the stares and whispers.

You can can cry yourself a river.

No need to hold on, that only makes you bitter.

Remember those figures that didn’t listen to your tears but expected you to wipe theirs.

You gave your all but it’s never returned.

Going on like reruns.

Using and abusing, Never no healing.

When will it be done.

You carried a ton.



Never lose sight

Black is beauty.

Dark is elegant.

Loving how the sun bounce of your melanin.

What you telling em. Radiant, nothing less than.

No degrading, only praising.

Severance for mental separation.

For the years looking for acceptance, second guessing.

You’re a blessing and you shine every second.

Relish in your skin.

You are cherished.

Never change for someone’s prejudice.

Diamonds

My emotions in a gutter.

Struggling to recover but I smile, it stop all the questions.

They can’t relate to the hurting of my essence.

Miss using my presence.

Saying I’m precious but only when I have blessings.

Never when I’m looking for guidance.

I’m sinking under the weight of the world.

All this pressure but can’t make diamonds.

Missing Spots

I can’t get it off my mind.

It been going on for years.

Losing who we care.

People saying they’re there but who really cares?

It’s two different things.

Tired of hearing same things.

Sorry for your lost.

They’re always in your heart like my heart didn’t stop.

Like it’s not missing spots.

Lost

I lost the hunger but still have the love.

Split between the two.

Who I was and who I am.

Trying to find a common, that area filled with caution.

Is that trauma or am I just hiding ?

Hiding from the fact I can’t reach certain heights.

Is this lack of preparation or perspective ?

Im destined but my story is still being written.

I can choose any path but I don’t have no sense of direction.

I am lost.



Trap Door

A cold breeze covering my chest, Sending chills down my spine.

Watching what we had fading like time easing.

Thought we were ever lasting but you’re forever changing.

Going from everything I want to nothing I need.

Should of listened to my friends, they saw it coming like a prophet.

Telling me to put my feelings in pocket.

Stay solid.

Watch who you fall for, but I can’t help who I fall for.

It’s like a trap door.

Stuck between these floors.

Can’t escape these flaws.

It’s like I’m coming home from war.

Post dramatic stress.

I don’t get a lot of rest cause when I see the sun set, I see you.

Sensation

I miss your sensation but it’s gone like plantation for the slaving.

I’m caving off this Hennessy.

Dreaming of your canopy.

Losing my sanity cause I want you here with me after what you did to me.

Feeling so stupidly cause I’m fluent in this misery.

Asking why pain so glittery.

It tempted me now I can’t be free.

You got the to deed to me.

I can’t escape the need to fight it like creed.

I hardly get any sleep.

Thinking of you when you out in the streets.

I was all for you but wasn’t for me.

The Stars

I look to the star, they don’t shine the same.

I want be a star but the spark is not the same.

Passionate to passionless.

Losing sight of who I am.

Only seeing the scars.

Feeling what I lost.

This pain is not for sport.

Long Run

Imagine having no balances on ice.

Slipping and falling with no directions.

Any different odds like a roll of dices.

It’s a forming of a deep connection.

Mind, body and emotions are invested.

You put every bit of yourself into them.

It’s clear to you that they are so precious.

To the world, you’re just underneath their thumb.

Fearing you lost sight of who you were.

Thinking you are still that boy who’s naïve.

The girl down the street, they so much prefer.

When you already came across your Eve.

Deep down in your soul, you know their the one.

Through all the storms, you’re here for the long run.

I’m here to showcase my writing I hope you enjoy

Endless Cycle

You hurt me and I hurt the next.

It’s how the game goes.

It flows with no remorse.

Leaving hearts in parts.

All out of sorts.

Love is an art but pierced in the process.

Everyone moving on without healing from the ex, hurting everybody next.

It’s an endless cycle; different variables.

Who Am I ?

Poisoned by the bonds that ties.

Your inner self is so shy.

Hiding behind a culture’s eyes.

If you don’t follow the dotted lines, you get the evil eye.

You conform cause your faults are magnified.

Tired of hearing your own cries, you find a mask to disguise.

Your identity losing supply.

Who I am?