Latest Posts by myratbrainmusings - Page 2
"This is a Joe Alwyn album" "This is a Matty Healy album" shut up shut up SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!! Swifties are so annoying, this is a TAYLOR SWIFT ALBUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY IS YOUR FIRST REACTION TO ASSIGN THINGS TO A MAN!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!!!!
I forget how much I love performing
16 apr 2024
Jamie opened tonight!! it was insane, that buzz that feeling you get inside I forget how real it is, like electricity is in the air and everyone’s joy is palpable. I’ll really miss this. This community, everyone is friends, I’ll talk to the people I wouldn’t normally talk to and you stay on stage left cramped in with everyone and it feels so real.
Anyways,
the idealized version of my tomorrow self will fix this
warm bread with butter. reblog if you Agree
Intimacy is not just about sex. It's having heart-to-hearts, staying up all night talking, sharing childhood memories, thoughts, fears, dreams & hopes for the future. It's uncontrollable laughter, direct eye contact and feeling each other without touching - it's exchanging energy
Thinking about girls in vaguely homosexual friendships
31 mar 2024
Thinking about how I used to call my best friend maiden as a pet name and I can’t actually remember what she used to call me but I assume it was some pet name, and how I used to call another one of my friends some variation on honey as a pet name
Anyways,
Ugh I hate thinking this way
21 mar 2024
I refuse to say it out loud and put it into the world but I know what I’m talking about.
WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK IM GAY? REALLY WHAT ABOUT ME RADIATES RAINBOWS? Nothing against gay people just I’m not and it means the boys I like will never see me the way they see my friends because maybe I’ll be affectionate with my friends and maybe I don’t dress like the walking talking stereotype of a teenage girl but god is it so hard to get a boy to even see me? To look at me like I’m not empty space?
Anyways,
Bathroom morning hope
21 mar 2024
Ive coined a new term,
Bathroom morning hope, when I walk into the bathroom in the morning and the sun always shines brighter in there and it’s bright and big and beautiful and I have a small seed of hope that today won’t be like all of those other days and we’ll be happy and calm and I think I’ll be ok for those few minutes in bathroom morning hope.
anyways,
LOVE ME PLEASE
10 mar 2024
WILL SOMEONE TRACE ALONG MY JAW ACROSS MY LIPS UP MY NOSE AND AROUND MY EYE WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TRACE FROM MY EAR ALONG MY COLLARBONE TO THE DIP BETWEEN THEM AND FEEL MY HEART BEAT LIKE THEY NEED TO COMMIT IT TO MEMORY LIKE THEYRE BEING TESTED ON THE BPM OF MY HEART AND THE TEXTURE OF MY SKIN LIKE THEY NEED TO SCULPT ME FROM THE INSIDE OUT AND OUTSIDE IN AGAIN PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
Anyways,
I refuse to let them think I’m stupid
8 mar 2024
Alex and Adam aren’t allowed to see me failing at chemistry. They can’t see me fail and mess up. I won’t let them think I’m dumb.
Also Adam has started only asking Alex about his answers to see if he’s right so I hate myself even more and really just crave the warm embrace of a grade 9
Anyways,
Wish I wasn’t so weird and embarrassing
any wildest fantasies?
being loved or something
I am so not sports
23 feb 2024
I am so unathletic (it upsets me a lot don’t worry) but I’m very poetic and I like to think it makes up for it
No I cannot do a flip into the water but I CAN wax poetic about how the light from the sunset hits the surface and maybe that’s better 🤷♀️
(No this isn’t because I saw a video of someone flipping into a lake and or couldn’t lift suitcases whatever are you talking about)
Anyways,
my english lang writing
19th feb 2024
(the prompt was write a story beginning with "this was going to be a terrible day, one of those days when its best to just stay in bed because everything is going to turn out bad")
this was going to be a terrible day, one of those days when its best to just stay in bed because everything is going to turn out bad.
what a horrible thought to have so early in the morning, this could end up being a great day, i scold myself from inside my own head, yes definately, like yesterday or the day before that, sarcasm leaking from the voice in my head to reprimand yet another voice in my head.
'list the requirements for a bad day.' an old therapy exersize that, for some reason, stuck.
gloomy weather? no, sweet blue skies, candyfloss clouds, warm sun falling through the leaves high above. loud or unnerving surroundings? even less so, light green water laps the bank of a jarringly serene lake flowers waft around the waters edge bowing to meet the surface. around bad people? technically, i am around nobody, calm, alone, peaceful, seemingly, my own inner monolouge is proving to be todays biggest enemy.
today actually has the trappings of a great day, which means it is one of these days. worse than one of the gloomy grey days or days full of work, today is one of the days where i feel so, so bad for being so miserable, for wishing for a storm so i am forced inside and i have to rot in my own misery. slowly i stand up, walking toward the waters edge. the top layer of water is warm after being in the sun for so long, the lower layers are cool and dark. i push myself down.
light filters through a meter or so of water, lake plants grow only a few more meters down. here it is calm, and serene and peaceful. i find myself hating it all over again. floating upwards, i try to count all the reasons i have to be happy. all outweighed by the fact that i am miserable.
my body floats on the surface of the water, my mind is disjointed, forcing me back into a memory where i do not float alone, where next to melays a girl with a smile like sunshine and a laugh like alchohol, she is intoxicating.
"mandy."
she drags out the last letter, i hear it like she is there, all over again i dive deep under water praying the pressure crushes me or the water to fill my lungs. it is so very dark again.
"she would want you to be happy now."
would she?
"she loved you."
did she?
the voices come from all around and i want to inhale and drown them out, everyone telling me to be happy for her because she cannot. she would be better at this, at the moving on part, i am so good at the greiveing, the loss, the wallowing. i exhale and push back up
"no."
her voice plays in my head, an old memory from when i told her i couldnt live without her. so i will breathe fresh, hot, summer air, even if just to spite the girl, because i have to keep her memory and love alive. today is terrible without her and so will the rest of them be, but i will live them, because she told me to and it is rude to disrespect the dead.
my body floats atop the water again.
today was just a little less terrible.
anyways,
its about klance IM SORRY IM SORRY OKAYYYY
18th feb 2024
my blue and red boys because purple is my favourite colour
anyways,
everyone pause
18th feb 2024
look at walker scobell rn like go look up a picture and look at him. thats how old percy is when he becomes a hero of olympus for the first time. thats when percy reads the prophecy. imagine that little boy (is he older than me? yes? lets move on) reading that he is destined to die on his 16th birthday (right after telling us that hes so excited to get his drivers lisence ((stop im crying stop it stop it)) and he still goes and saves the world because what else will he do. RICKYWHENICATCHYOURICKY
anyways,
i love the idea of percy just referring to everyone on olympus by their familiar relation to him.
grandpa kronos
uncle hades
cousin ares
i get it dude
18th feb 2024
voltron ending suckeddd man like sucked dick and balls it was so bad. it was JUST the last episode that was bad too like it was a good show until that last episode and it took a nose dive its so crappy.
zero stars do not reccomend i want my money back please and thank you and also i will find you im in your walls benjamin kaltenecker (idk what he does hes just the only guy i see in the credits before i skip to the next episode ((post about not watching credits coming soon ??? idk)) and good choice naming the cow after you like some guy named commander iverson after him but nah just good vibes space cow ((i also love the implication that kaltenecker isnt his name but his breed or species because the shopkeep says get a kaltenecker instead of get a cow)) anyways everyone who said the ending sucked was right but i have alot to say (dude look at my bio what did you expect when you clicked on here)
anyways,
i admit i want to be loved religiously and i don’t know what to do with my hands
RAAAA BARKBARKBARK ARRUEYERJGEWHUREGO;UIREGUO;G;SHGLUIZZD
17th feb 2024
me when clean fresh washed still wet but not dripping hair
anyways,
Carmy was really like if my girl wants a star she can have a star. If my girl wants chaos menu she can have chaos menu. If my girl wants a chef's jacket she can have a bespoke monogrammed 2k designer one. Whatever she wants she can have it because that's what husbands do for their wives
Carmy was really like if my girl wants a star she can have a star. If my girl wants chaos menu she can have chaos menu. If my girl wants a chef's jacket she can have a bespoke monogrammed 2k designer one. Whatever she wants she can have it because that's what husbands do for their wives
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
17th feb 2024
cannibal chef trope
cannibal doctor trope
cannibal anyone who knows in EXTREME detail about food or the body trope
cannibal chef x cannibal doctor?
that is all
anyways,
powerful vs strong demigods
16th feb 2024
yk what ill say something and you wont like it.
Hazel probably IS the most powerful demigod of the seven.
I KNOW I KNOW EVERYONE SHUT UP FOR A SECOND AND LET ME SPEAK
theres a difference between powerful and strong, strong means that theyre good in fight like actually physically strong without thier magical powers, like percy, hes very strong and could win all of his fights because in usual fights he barely uses his power (other than the water extra power and healing) and could fight without his powers. but Hazel just has some fucking dope ass powers like she could rock your shit but in actual fact she couldnt win a fight without magic because shes 13 and NOT EVEN 5 FOOT. cmon dude like shes powerful but in no world is she stronger than percy or jason.
i do think theres something sad about how largely only the literature that's considered especially good or important is intentionally preserved. i want to read stuff that ancient people thought sucked enormous balls
fanartists
15th feb 2024
what is it with you and the line of spit when two characters are kissing? what the actual fuck dudes but also i kinda love it please stay on that love you guys, hugs and kisses xoxo
anyways,
Kind of a tortured metaphor
12 feb 2024
mummy polishes the floor using surface polish. its really slippery and i fall down alot, currently i have bruises on both my legs. when i ask her to stop so i dont get hurt she yells and gets angry.
quite literally her need for perfection will kill us all. (figuratively and literally)
anyways,
i know this is basically gospel already
but keith with physical touch as a love language. not because he wasnt held as a child or anything but because his mom actually like held him a LOT and now thats just how he recognizes and reciprocates affection
he’s always shoulder to shoulder with someone or has his hand on the back of someone’s neck not in a weird way but in a like. “i am here i am watching your blind spot for you and you will be safe”
with lance especially
always a hand on his lower back or between his shoulderblades where the scars from the rover incident are
tucking a hand in the pocket of lance’s jeans when they’re standing in the kitchen together
holding onto his ankle if his feet are in keiths lap
keith just keiths like that. yk?