Savingwords - Otherwise It Drives Me To Madness

I brew a coffee, I peel an orange, I play some music, I call a friend.

And it whispers

Maybe I do remember.

The quiet thoughts in dark corners during rainy days or sunny mornings.

I remember losing. Losing against thoughts that snuck up on me.

Is that form beside me a friend? It whispers to me, like a friend would, like we share a secret.

It’s the secret to why I feel like this. The whispers are heavy when they reach my ears. Words with weight to them.

My knees shake. It’s cold. It's the rain. Is it the light breeze? There’s sun. We’re holding hands. We’re holding hands. We’re holding hands.

I don’t know what’s gripping me. I don’t know what’s holding me down.

I can’t stand up.

It won’t let me go. It’s in my legs, in my arms. Weight, so much weight. It holds my hand. And it whispers.

“Distance doesn’t separate people. Silence does.”

— Jeff Hood

“One day she remembered that it wasn’t her job to make everyone happy.”

— Robin Lee

Wastefulness

I don’t

know

I don’t know

how to stop

Stop the tears from falling

Stop the fears from showing

Stop a life from being wasted

Please stop me

Stop me from wasting my life

Stop wasting a life on me

Out of my ignorance, I called you a homeland and I forgot homelands are taken away.

— Mahmoud Darwish

Sometimes it would be nice to step out of one's body and observe

To no longer having to feel and experience things

pain

Tightrope Walker

I’m struggling,

Stumbling like a failing tightrope walker

I turn and want to blame someone

For sabotaging the rope,

For distracting me

But there’s no one but me

I abandoned safety net and balancing pole

Instead there’s darkness waiting should I fall

There’s no way of knowing what’s down there

Should I tumble, would I crack?

Should I fall, would I break?

Should I jump, would I

Die

Jeanette Winterson, from "Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal," publ. in 2011

— Virginia Woolf