Squirreljoe - Life Sucks. Get A Helmet.

soft

synopsis: girls with cute tummies and soft thighs and extra chub in different places can also date hot popstar boys okay? okay.

word count: 2.1 k

contains: plus size reader, non au harry, fluff, mentions of body image and insecurities, harry being obsessed with his girlfriend

A/N: the start of a new thing called 'soft girl sundays' which I'm starting !! i wrote this for wp a few months ago but it's one of my fave things I've written so I'm re-posting it here. it's cheesy and fun and harry's obsessed with his girl !! i know for a lot of us girlies sometimes it feels like we take up too much space and we're always made to feel smaller mentally, physically, in every way really but you have much of a right to be here as everyone else so take up alllll the space u need !! women are beautiful and majestic no matter their size 💘

. . .

My girls' in the audience tonight.

I look past the curtain across the stage and see her in the VIP section.

Even without the stage lights shining on her, she's glowing.

She's wearing a shirt with my initials stitched over her heart and every time she lifts her arms, I see her soft tummy and the dimples on her back when she spins. Her thick thighs are on show as she wears the smallest pink skirt known to man. Her hair falls past her shoulder and down her back and her cute cheeks turn pink as she smiles when she speaks to some of the team who stand with her. 

She's the living embodiment of the divine feminine and I can't ever seem to get over the fact that she's all mine. 

The music begins to play and I watch as her face lights up with excitement. She's seen this show over a few dozen times but she never fails to be just as excited as the first time she saw me walk on stage with a hickey on my neck that she'd put there moments before.

When it's my queue, I skip onto the stage and my ears nearly burst as the sound of people screaming over the music starts to fill the stadium. She's smiling, she's cheering, she's singing the words to every single song. She's so pretty and she's all I see.

When the show ends, I walk backstage to my dressing room. Normally I'd run into a car and get the Hell out of there before crowds of people start to fill up the streets to get home, but this time, Y/N was here and I knew how much anxiety she felt whenever we had to rush to be somewhere.

I walked in and accepted the compliments from my team after another successful show. Paris was a city I held close to me so it was always a fun time when we played.

I gulped down a glass of water and felt arms snake around my waist. I immediately grinned when I saw the lilac-painted nails that matched my very own. I feel her nuzzle her face into my back before I twist in her embrace and look into the eyes of the girl I love with everything in me.

"Hi baby," I whisper, stroking her cheek that still had glitter on it.

"Hi Harry," Y/N murmurs, her eyes tired but full of happiness.

"Y' okay?" I hold her, feeling her soft skin beneath my hand. She was so soft and cuddly.

"I'm okay." She smiles, lazily. "You did so good up there. I nearly cried,"

I laugh, "You always nearly cry."

"That's because I'm proud of you." She shrugs.

We sit on the couch and she straddles my lap, her skirt riding up and I nearly choke when I catch a glimpse of her lacy underwear. I put my hands on her thighs and squeeze them softly. "You excited for our trip tomorrow?" I asked, staring at her lips and suddenly feeling the temptation to kiss them. I did and she happily accepted.

We had a few days before the next show so we decided to head down to the South of France and spend a few days in Nice. We haven't been on a trip together in a while other than the tour locations so we made the most of the little time we had in between shows to spend as much time as we could together.

She nods, "I bought a new swimsuit just for the occasion."

I groan, my head falling back against the couch, "You kill me."

She giggles, "love you."

I immediately smile. "I love you too," I kiss her.

The morning after the show, we woke up early to make our flight down to Nice. Y/N whines the entire time because she's not a morning person and refuses to step one foot out of bed until I force her.

She sleeps on my chest the entire journey there, wearing an oversized hoodie with the hood up. "My whole heart is inside y'." I murmur as her cheek presses against my chest and makes her lips all pouty, light snores falling from them. I lightly push some of her baby hairs back from her face and trace my thumb over the soft skin of her cheek.

We arrive and head straight to our room at the hotel to drop our bags off before heading to the beach. Y/N immediately opens the doors to the balcony and gasps when she looks out at the view. "Harry, it's beautiful," Y/N says in awe.

I come up behind her and wrap my arms around her tummy, squeezing the softest part of her. I loved all the parts of her but her tummy was my absolute favourite. She always complained about it. How it stuck out when she wore tight clothing and even more so after eating. 'Harry I already have a tummy? Why punish me further by making it bigger after I eat? Seems unfair don't you think?'  I'd spend the whole journey home telling her how beautiful she looked and how I loved watching her enjoy the food she loves and then I'd hold her in bed and run circles on her little, bloated belly because I had made it my life's mission to show as much love to the little chub of a tummy she had.

I pull on my swim shorts and a white linen shirt, leaving the buttons undone. I pack my beach bag for our beach towels and my book as well as my film camera and sun lotion.

Y/N walks out of the bathroom. Her hair in loose curls from the heat and her face already sunkissed and pretty. My mouth falls open when I take in the small, blue bikini on her body, revealing her soft curves and every perfect inch of her.

"Do you like it?" She blushes, acting like she's not the hottest girl I've ever seen in my entire life.

It tied at her waist and around her neck, my immediate thought being how easy it would be to take it off her and spend the entire day in bed, making out or whatever. I honestly couldn't care less as long as she's there.

"Baby," I dropped the bag on the floor and made my way towards her, pinching her chin between my thumb and forefinger and tilting her head back so I could kiss her at the perfect angle.

She whines and the sound nearly has me dropping to my knees. "You're fucking unbelievable."

"You really think so?" She bites back a smile, "You don't think I need to hide my stretch marks?" My heart aches at how unsure she sounded, the fact she even had to ask made me want to pick her up and kiss each stretch mark on her body.

"No, my love," I shake my head, kissing the stretch marks at the top of her left breast and feeling her heart racing at the delicate touch. "You have absolutely nothing to hide from anybody. Y' beautiful and you're mine,"

She smiles and kisses me again.

We head down to the beach to the reserved sunbeds. Y/N lays out her towel and sits down to apply sun cream to her arms and legs. I help her do her back, massaging her shoulders and trying not to combust as she rolls her head to the side and moans at the feeling.

I literally have a crush on this woman.

And she's my fucking girlfriend.

What did I do to get this lucky in life?

"Let's go in the water baby," I held her hand and we walked to the water, stepping in together.

She wraps her arms and legs around me when we're deep enough in the water. I squeeze her ass and she gasps, swatting me gently. "What?" I look at her innocently.

"There's people watching." She hides her face in my neck and I turn us both around to catch sight of the paparazzi hiding behind the trees and snapping pictures of us.

I release a sigh and pull her face back to get a better look at her. If there was one thing that could make my girlfriend second guess herself, it was the paparazzi constantly posting her pictures online and allowing people to berate her for how she looked.

"Please don't let them ruin your day my love," I kiss her shoulder, still holding her in my arms. "I promise, you're the prettiest girl I've ever seen."

"You promise?" She pouts.

"Feel this," I reach for her hand and guide her to the small bit of chub on my hip.

She gasps, "You have chub too!"

I rolled my eyes but smiled at the same time, her excitement was adorable. "Everyone's got something they're insecure about. No matter how hard I've tried I can't seem to get rid of it, maybe it's from all the cakes you've been making but how am I meant to say no to such a pretty face?"

She squeals in delight when I pinch her sides and giggles as I press kisses to her face. "Wanna go and sunbathe for a little, baby?" She nods and we both walk out of the water so she can sit in the sun for a bit.

I spend more time in the water and come out to find Y/N verging on the brink of sleep. I smirk as I crawl between her legs and lay between her thighs, sighing softly as I turn my head away from the sun and press a kiss to her inner thigh. She reaches down and runs her fingers through my wet hair, her nails scratching my scalp.

After midday, I order food to be sent up to our room. Y/N's passed out on the sunbed so I gently shake her awake, "Hi baby," Her pretty eyes flutter open, "Need you to drink something darling, you've been in the sun for a while." She slowly sits up and rubs her eyes with the back of her hand. I unscrew the cap of the water bottle and pass it to her, watching as she almost drinks the whole thing.

"I got us room service to be delivered. Want to head back upstairs for a bit?" Her cheeks were red and her hair was all frizzy due to the humidity. She nodded and we packed our things up and made our way back to our hotel room.

Our food was already laid out on the balcony by the time we walked into the room. I had left the air conditioning on so the room was nice and cool since Y/N struggled to sleep when it was too hot and stuffy.

She was wearing my linen shirt over her bikini and I couldn't help but stare at her ass as I followed her to the table outside.

There was fruit, bread and pastries laid out on a spread at the table as well as a glass of red wine and some orange juice. Y/N sat on one of the chairs with one leg hitched up as she ate some of her baguette and cheese, her favourite snack to eat when we were in France.

"Are you having fun, my love?" I asked, taking a bite of fresh watermelon.

She nods quickly, "It's the best. Anytime with you is always the best,"

"Come sit here," I motion and move my chair out, patting my thigh. She doesn't hesitate and stands up to sit down on my lap.

I kissed the back of her neck and put one hand on her hip, my thumb traced the edge of the waistband of her bikini bottoms, slipping under the material to trail soft circles over her hip bones.

"I'm keeping you forever, I hope you know that," I murmur, appreciating this intimate moment between us which didn't happen as often as I liked them to but we made do.

"I hope so," She whispers.

I loved this girl for all she was. There is nothing in this world that could change just how much I adored her.

"Harry," She says my name, "This bikini is pretty easy to take off you know."

I choke, eyes widening and seeing the smirk on her face. I pick her up, her legs wrapping around me and her ankles locking behind my back. "Is that a challenge or a request?" I kiss her lips, tasting the saltiness of the sea on them.

"Both," She says in between kisses.

This girl. 

😍😍

Thank Your Missus… Again

Mason Mount x OC

Summary: Part 2 of Thank Your Missus

Words: 2.7k

Note: Any feedback is greatly appreciated as always ❤️

It had been around a month since the evening Woody had arrived at your house in a panic, looking for Mason to help him with an outfit and give him a pep talk for his date. Since then, as far you as you had been informed by your boyfriend, things were going swimmingly between the two.

“Did you ask him what her name is?” You asked your boyfriend one evening as he settled on the sofa beside you, not long having got back from a kick around with his mates at a local public football pitch.

“Oh shit I forgot again!” He groaned, flopping his head into your lap and grabbing your hand to place on the back of his head, silently requesting you played with his hair.

You rolled your eyes, giving his locks a gentle tug, “For fuck sake you had one job! I even text you to remind you.”

He hummed in response, too relaxed as you massaged into his scalp to carry on the conversation. Accepting defeat that you once again were left in the dark, you reached for the blanket on the back of the sofa and covering you both as you settled down for an evening of cuddling on the sofa after a day apart.

Lees verder

Why Can't We Get Along? | Alexia Putellas x Reader

warnings: 18+ minors dni. literally just loved-up smut with the tiniest bit of angst. word count: 3696 based off this request.

“This isn’t right, Alexia. We shouldn’t be arguing this much just a few months in.” You sighed, hand trembling as you held your phone to your ear.

“So what? You just want to give up?”

Her tone was defensive, something you’d come to expect when she was faced with moments of insecurity. You knew she was hurting, but sometimes you wished she would unlock the chains around her heart and tell you what she really felt.

“I don’t want to give up but we can’t seem to stop arguing. Is this normal for you?”

“No. Maybe we just aren’t meant to be.”

You wanted to shake her; you were sure if she wasn’t on the other end of the phone, you would’ve tried it by now. If she could just tell you what was causing her to pull away every time you began to connect on a deeper level, maybe you could have a shot at this.

“Okay, fine. I want us to be civil, though. Can we please be civil?”

“I would like that too.”

“Thank you, for everything. You really have made me feel like never before. I truly mean that.”

“And you for me.”

You could’ve sworn you heard her voice break, but before you could listen more closely, the phone line was cut off, and you were left heartbroken and clutching a soft toy she had won for you on one of your first dates.

You hadn't been together that long, but long enough for the mere thought of her not being around enough to kill off any sign of life in your chest. The tears didn't take long to arrive, and once they began, they didn't seem possible to stop.

You'd never really been the type to cry yourself to sleep, but then again, you'd never really been the type to fall in love within a few months. As your eyes grew heavy, you couldn't help but wonder what she would do next. Would she immediately find someone else?

You weren't sure how long you'd been asleep when a gentle knocking at your front door startled you. You cursed yourself for your online shopping addiction, guessing that the same delivery man would be at your door for the third evening this week. The first day he'd witnessed you in your pyjamas, the second he had witnessed you with your hair dye on, and now he was about to witness your puffy eyes and damp cheeks at 9pm. You didn't care. It hurt too much to care.

Mind absolutely made up that it was him, you headed towards the doorway and pulled the front door open, only to find Alexia standing on your doorstep. It was obvious to you that she had been crying too, her breath shaking as another round of tears threatened to come out at the sight of you.

“Hi.” You smiled sheepishly.

“Hi. I wasn’t sure if this would be okay. I don’t want to be alone.” She mumbled.

“Come in.”

You guided her through the hallway, not thinking twice before you headed for the room you’d just left. Alexia hesitated slightly, causing you to realise what habit had you doing.

“Sorry, we can go to the living room if you’d prefer?”

You watched as her brain mulled it over, her heart battling with her head right in front of your eyes. She took a step closer to you, stroking her thumb across your face ever so gently and giving you the smallest but most beautiful of smiles.

“I’m sorry that you’ve been crying.” She whispered.

“I’m sorry that you don’t want to be alone.” You followed her volume.

“I think I worded that wrong.”

A small giggle left her lips at her admission—an admission that had confused you. You weren’t sure why else she would be here than not wanting to be alone, and your heart ached at the thought of her taking back the vulnerable statement.

“What did you mean then?” You sighed.

“I wanted to be with you. If that wasn’t possible then yes, I would’ve wanted to be alone.”

You smiled at her, reaching for her hand and guiding her into your bedroom. You'd done that same act so many times before, but this night was different. This night, you were just glad to have her presence, butterflies filling your stomach as she lay back on your bed and kicked her shoes off with a thud.

"Come to bed?" She asked, slightly unsure of herself.

You nodded, pulling back the covers on the side that had become your side of any bed the two of you slept in. A slight distance remained between the two of you at first, neither wanting to make the other feel uncomfortable.

After just a few agonising seconds, you both turned to face one another, arms slowly pulling each other closer as you met in the middle. You moved your hand to her face, gently brushing the loose strands of hair that had fallen behind her ear as she closed her eyes in sheer bliss.

“I have so many feelings for you.”

That statement caught you off guard; it was the last thing you had expected to hear from the woman who had spent the last few months making you feel like she couldn’t stand you for longer than a day at a time.

“You do?”

You spoke softly, not wanting her to confuse your need for clarification for any kind of repulsion or aggression.

“Yes. I don’t know how to tell you that I think I love you without scaring you away.”

You were dumbfounded. In a few seconds, a million thoughts flashed through your mind. These arguments weren’t coming from a place of hatred; quite the opposite, in fact. Both of you were just too afraid to admit that love was seeping into your relationship. For you, you could’ve told her right there that you did love her, but you knew that wasn’t what she needed to hear right now. Telling her you were that little step ahead of her would bring unnecessary pressure, something that might break the two of you forever. So, you held onto that secret, responding with something that aligned more with her.

“I think I love you too. I think that’s why I get so scared when we argue. I’m so afraid of losing someone that I know I’m falling in love with.”

Her hand mimicked yours, coming up to your face to rest on your cheek, and her thumb matched the repetitive pattern of yours as it gently stroked across your cheekbone.

“Kiss me.”

You didn’t need to be told twice. You gently moved your lips towards hers, being careful not to come across as too eager for your girlfriend, who obviously needed something a little more loving tonight.

"I want you, but slowly." She whispered, confirming your suspicions that she needed to feel you tonight, just you and not the act of confidence you put on when you she wanted a show.

Your hand travelled from her cheek to her neck, your fingertips tracing the length of it before your lips followed the same journey. Tonight, though, your teeth didn’t play a part in it. Instead, you pressed open-mouthed kisses against her, letting your tongue gently slip through a few times as her hand came to rest in your hair.

“Yes.” She whispered into the dark room, tilting her neck back to give you more access.

You took your time, painting your love across each square of skin until you reached the tip of her collarbone. You ran your hand along her side, almost like you were giving her a warning that you planned to remove the loose shirt she was wearing, before your fingers took the first button between them.

“Can I?” You brought your lips to hers once more.

You felt her nod against your lips, giving you the go ahead to gently untangle each button along the length of her shirt and pulling her upwards with you to push her arms out of it. You couldn’t help the little smile that showed itself on your face as you found she hadn’t bothered to put on a bra before her surprise visit.

“You’re perfect.”

Your declaration came out in a whispered moan as you pushed her onto her back and began to slide across the bare skin of her chest with your lips. There was no end goal for you except for making sure every inch of her had been kissed before things went any further. You started in the centre of her chest, moving from there to her left shoulder and then all the way across to her right. 

“Yes.” She whispered into the room again, the faintest twinge of a moan entangled with it this time.

You positioned yourself between her legs as your mouth travelled down the valley of her breasts, making your way down her navel before finally moving to her breasts. The most intimate of groans left your throat as you found her nipples were already hard, waiting for your mouth to finally wrap around them, ever so lovingly. You gently sucked them, bringing your tongue into action with little teasing strokes followed by gentle bites that wouldn’t cause the pleasurable pain she’d enjoyed so much previously. Tonight was about making her feel connected to you.

“I’m so wet for you.”

That seductive whisper, combined with a subtle thrust of her hips, sent waves of pleasure through every nerve in your body. You swore you could've finished right there, hearing the bedsheet's gentle rustle beneath her.

“Tell me that again.” You teased, sitting up slightly to take the button of her jeans into your grasp.

“I’m so wet for you, I’ve never felt like this before.”

It wasn’t her usual bedroom talk; before now, she had been full of expletives and demands. There was something about how vulnerable she was tonight that had you wanting to satisfy her needs even more than you did when she was screaming your name. 

You detached her button, listening to the heavenly sound as you pulled her zip down and she wiggled her hips to help you peel her jeans from her toned legs, both letting out a gentle laugh at her movements.

You reached your hand out, your fingers brushing against the dampness of her thong as her body shuddered. She was right; she had never been this wet before. Her core radiated a heat that could be felt before your fingers had even come into contact with it.

“God.” You groaned.

You knew you wanted to taste her, but you also knew that, with how worked up she was, the second your tongue hit her clit, she’d be a shaking mess in the bed. So, you compromised, spreading her legs slightly, running your fingertips from the bottoms of her thighs to the lining of her underwear, and repeating the process for the other leg.

Your fingers slipped between the creases in her thighs and her underwear on either side. You tugged them upwards, letting go and causing them to snap back against her sensitive skin, knowing that each snap would cause a rush of air to hit against her clit and send shockwaves through her.

“Keep teasing me. I… I didn’t know I could feel like this.” She murmured, feet digging into the bottom of the bed and hands gripping the sheets. You had truly never witnessed her so wanting for you.

“You’re so beautiful.” You broke character for a moment, speaking directly from the heart.

Your plan to tease her for a little longer failed the second she brought her hand to wrap around your thigh. The sensation of her being that close to where you wanted her, but not close enough, jolted you to remove the last piece of clothing that lay between your fingers and her body.

Always one for skin on skin contact, she batted your hand away from her and removed your clothes before settling back down on the bed and spreading her legs eagerly for you.

Finally, for both of you, your fingertips were delicately gliding through her velvety folds, her arousal so intense that it glistened all the way up to her belly button in the dimly lit room.

“You’re soaked, baby.” You whispered breathlessly.

“Can I feel?”

You didn't respond; instead, you grasped her right hand, intertwining your fingers, and guided her touch with your own. The moan that escaped her lips as she pleasured herself in front of you sent a shiver down your spine, forcing you to rid yourself of your underwear before you soaked it.

“Watch me. I want you to watch me.”

You'd never witnessed her so worked up. Of course, the two of you indulged in countless nights when every thrust left you craving more and every orgasm left you yearning for another. But this time, it was unlike anything you'd ever experienced before.

She seemed to be unable to stop herself, as if there were no limits to how turned on she could get. The soft glow of moonlight that was seeping through the curtains cast just enough light on the bed to reveal the growing wet patch on the sheets beneath her.

"That's it, keep going."

You wished you could say something more sexual to fit the tone of the show she was putting on for you. Yet you found yourself utterly captivated by the tender and exploratory caresses she gave herself. Your brain couldn't think of anything but the four words you continued to repeat.

“Come beside me."

You wondered at first if your lack of vocal enthusiasm had caused her to feel self-conscious about what she was doing, but as your head hit the pillow beside her, hers turned to press your lips together. She used her free hand to move your left to settle on top of hers, making it clear that it was simply there to feel her movements before taking your right hand and moving it between your legs.

"Follow my lead." She husked out.

The slight issue you had was that you weren't sure you would be able to follow her lead for more than ten seconds before you would end this night prematurely. It wasn't until you had brought your fingers into contact with your own pulsating core that you realised just how difficult it would be to follow any instructions, given that your hand seemed to just slide around in the pool of wetness between your legs.

She used her own actions to guide you, slowly circling her clit once, twice, and then a third time before dragging her fingers down to her entrance and entering the tip of a teasing finger.

"Does that feel good?"

She had no real reason to ask that; your muffled moans against her lips should've given her the answer she was longing for. You nodded your head, breaking your lips apart just long enough to let out a groan before crashing them back together again and letting your tongue delve into her mouth to intertwine with hers.

"I need to tell you something." She whispered breathlessly, finally giving in to the craving of her body to push her fingers inside.

If you had known what it was, maybe you would've been able to focus on her words more than the hope that she would quicken the agonisingly slow pace of long thrusts deep inside and removing almost all of her fingers each time. But then again, if you'd known what it was, you might have been tempted to stop her altogether, and she knew that.

"Anything, babe."

The hand that was resting on top of yours pushed it out of the way, her fingers plunging deep inside you as you struggled to focus on following her lead. She waited for you to catch up, groaning loudly when you pushed her hand away from her core and replaced it with your own.

"I should've been clearer earlier."

"What about?" You choked out, only able to focus on the brushes of her fingertips against your gspot.

The sounds of your hands slapping against the wet skin of one another became the most prevalent sound in the room as she worked you to within an inch of your long overdue orgasm. You'd almost forgotten that she was mid-conversation with you, engulfed in your own pleasure, until she uttered the words that had you crashing over the edge.

"I don't think I love you, I know that I do."

With a scream of her name, you tightened around her fingers, not caring for the loss of rhythm as you removed your hand completely from her core and pulled her face to your chest. You clutched it tightly as your back arched and your body jittered, then jittered again, and then once more as Alexia gave you one orgasm for each of those three words. 

i. love. you.

Unable to speak, you pressed your lips against her forehead and felt her exhale deeply at the contact, still with no idea that you felt exactly the same way. She stayed patient, letting you come down from your orgasm and not running away at your lack of words.

"Alexia..." You whispered.

"You don't have to say anything, I just wanted to you know. I needed you to know." She corrected herself.

You used your trembling hand to lift her chin up, aligning her lips with your own. She opened them, ready to accept the kiss she thought was coming, and opened her eyes when it didn't arrive a few seconds later. There was something magical about the way her eyes were piercing into yours—the silence that should've been eerie being nothing but content.

"I don't just think I love you either, I know I love you. I've known it for a while now." You spoke softly.

The whites of your teeth lit up the room as the two of you giggled at how needless the earlier argument had been. Neither of you said anything else; you didn't need to.

You waited a little longer before bringing your hands to her shoulders, gently pushing against her until her back fell against the mattress. You didn't need to spend time working her up; your fingers easily slid through her folds, and with a light whimper, she relaxed enough to let you push two of them inside her. 

You wanted to take advantage of just how wet she was and how open she was as you worked your fingers slowly in and out of her. Peppering kisses along her neck again, you allowed your fingers to come to rest inside her. She opened her mouth to urge you to stop teasing before realising you weren't planning on it. Instead, you bent the tips of your fingers against her gspot, repeating the action over and over again as you felt it coming down to meet you.

"This feels so good." She cried out.

Each time you felt her nearing her own orgasm, you returned to slow thrusts in and out of her for a few seconds before she wrapped her hand around your wrist, a non-verbal way of telling you that whatever you were doing before wasn't something she ever wanted you to stop.

But then she felt it.

It wasn't her usual orgasm; it wasn't that buildup of pressure in the lower part of her stomach. This was different. This was coming from directly inside her, and she feared that if she didn't stop you, she might have some kind of embarrassing accident in the bedroom. She tried to recall just how much water she'd drank from her water bottle on the way to your house, unable to concentrate on the memory as your fingertips continued their repetitive strokes against that spot.

“Something is happening to me.” She panicked.

“I know, baby. Just go with it. Tell me if you want me to stop.” You whispered, hopeful that she trusted you enough to know this would be worth it.

You had never heard moans like this from her; they were relentlessly spilling from her mouth and getting stuck in her throat. Her hand came to rest on your thigh, fingernails digging into it so aggressively that you were sure they would draw blood.

“You okay?” You stroked your free hand up and down her arm, careful not to interrupt the rhythm of your other hand.

“Yes. Don’t stop. Oh my… don’t stop.” Her hips thrust up to meet you, neck craning back against the pillow.

And then it happened. The wetness between her legs becoming audibly louder as gentle spurts of wetness hit against your wrist, and the sound of droplets hitting the bed beneath her filled the room. She screamed as you worked her through it, not caring for the neighbours who couldn't possibly have ignored the noises. Her back was arched, and her hips were mindlessly thrusting up and down as you slowed down your pace and carefully removed your fingers.

“Did I just…?”

“That was... wow." You feigned, unable to take your eyes away from the sizeable wet patch on the bed.

If you had been able to see her complexion in this light, you'd have known that her cheeks were slightly pink at the thought that she'd just completely soaked your bed. She gently slid herself away from the mess, pulling you towards her and relishing the feeling of your bare skin against hers, sweat and all.

"I will tell you that I love you every day if that's how you respond." She chuckled, the vibrations of her laughter sending those flutters to your heart.

"I can't wait to tell you I love you every day." You smiled, giving her forehead a kiss.

"I guess now we know why we weren't getting along." She hummed contently, fingertips now stroking across your stomach.

"I guess so."

It was true; that had been exactly why you hadn't been getting along. You knew that because, from the moment you had both put your trust in the power of saying i love you, neither of you felt the need to argue like that again.

Life Lessons || CL16

Summary: After an embarrassing secret is shared Charles accepts some help to learn a few things about female pleasure.

Warnings: 18+ only, nsfw, fem rec oral, sex ed

WC: 2.9k

Charles - The Lazy Lover - Leclerc. That was what the wag gossip pages all shared in their stories and Charles’ cheeks grew red with embarrassment as he read the latest caption. The supposed ‘inside source’ had recounted the disappointment his past girlfriends had found in Charles’ bedroom activities. They cited him as ‘vanilla’ and ‘a missionary man’, but none of those hurt more than the sentence that described his oral capabilities as ‘nonexistent’.

He didn’t think he was bad in bed, and he wouldn’t have called himself selfish, but he couldn’t help asking some of his exes for the truth. Each of them denied sharing the information to the gossip pages, but they all replied with the same consensus.

Charles chased his own pleasure and they didn’t feel comfortable telling him what they needed to reach their own high too. He felt guilty, wondering how many of the relationships would have ended differently or not ended at all if he had paid more attention - to their sex life as well as the rest. He certainly hadn’t been the most attentive in any aspect of his last relationship with Alexandra.

“Don’t laugh,” Pierre started the conversation seriously, something that immediately caused concern for Charles. “I know someone who knows someone that can help you. She’s a private tutor, of sorts.”

“Do you know how fucked I would be if news broke I went to a hooker?”

“She’s not a hooker,” Pierre assured him as he wrote an address down on a napkin and slid it across the table. “It's already taken care of, 8pm tomorrow.”

Charles looked at the address and sighed. “This is in Paris.”

“Of course, City of Love, my friend.” Pierre finished his coffee and rose from the table, pushing a pair of sunglasses over his eyes. “You’re welcome.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Charles mumbled, still uncertain about the whole idea of having a stranger teach him how to be a better lover. “I guess.”

Later that afternoon, Charles received an email with a rather detailed questionnaire about his experiences in the bedroom as well as a small dining and drinks menu to select from. He figured he couldn’t be any more embarrassed than he already was and took his time to honestly answer the questions.

—

Charles debated turning around at least three times as he climbed the stairs in a modern apartment building. He had caught a glimpse of the Eiffel Tower from the stairwell window and paused as the lights danced along the metal, wondering if he was in the right place. He was still in half a mind that Pierre had sent him to a brothel, but this didn’t fit the stereotype he had in his head of a Parisian whorehouse. He definitely imagined more Moulin Rouge lighting and seedy alleys.

He reached the 3rd floor and found only one door on the landing, his finger barely able to aim for the doorbell with its shaking. He didn’t know what to expect when the handle started to turn, but it certainly wasn’t a bright welcoming smile and the delicious smell of fresh baking.

“Hi, you must be Charles,” you greeted your newest client. “Come in, please.”

You could tell he was nervous as he hesitantly stepped inside and his eyes scanned your home, taking in the artwork on the walls and the candlelit table with two place settings. You tried to ease his mind with a quick introduction about who you were while you poured him a glass of wine.

“Help yourself,” you said as you took a seat and waved a hand to the fresh bread and cheeses he had selected from the menu. He took a breath and sat down opposite you, the candlelight catching the sharp jawline and angular features of his handsome face. “So, Charles, what is your goal? What do you want to get out of this?”

“I, uh, to be able to please a woman?”

“You don’t sound sure,” you teased as you watched him spread an olive tapenade over the fresh toasted bread.

“No, no, I am,” he said a little more forcefully before sighing. “I didn’t realise I was…bad…in bed, until recently.”

“Well, rest assured, we will change that. But first, tell me a bit more about yourself, there’s only so much I can learn from the questionnaire.”

—

Charles began to relax the more he shared. He knew he was protected by the NDA you had sent with the rest of the paperwork and the anonymity that came with baring his ugly truths to a stranger helped to ease the discomfort of what he was doing. He still wasn’t exactly sure what he was doing but your encouraging smile kept his words flowing, like he was finally doing something right.

He hadn’t realised how quickly time had passed until the grandfather clock in the entrance chimed the hour and he saw he had eaten his fill of the meal he chose.

His overnight bag still waited on the hall table, the list of what to bring had been ticked off and double checked. His calendar had been cleared for the weekend and his phone turned off. Everything he needed to remember could be jotted down in the small journal that sat beside his used cutlery.

“So, um, what happens next?” he asked as his eyes darted to the bedroom door.

“Whatever you feel comfortable with, Charles. Come,” you rose from the table and grabbed his bag, taking it to your bedroom as he trailed behind. His feet rushed before slowing down as he caught his own eagerness and frowned to himself. It was common. There was a blurred line between of uncertainty on whether they were here to get laid or here to learn.

You placed his bag beside the large desk that covered one wall of your room and pointed to the computer chair where he took a seat. “Every woman is different and there isn’t a universal button to make us come. But, by understanding the physiological functions and anatomy, I will teach you the tools to find the right spots to make her fall apart.”

“A-anatomy?” he stammered.

You took a step back and unzipped your dress, letting it fall to the floor and bare your nakedness. His eyes widened and he swallowed deeply as he drank in your body. A soft breath fell from his parted lips when you climbed onto the desk and spread your legs either side of him. “I could show you a textbook, but I find this much more effective.”

His throat bobbed as he tried to keep eye contact and the act brought a little laugh from your chest, forcing him to look at your breasts bouncing with it. “You can look, in fact that is exactly what this first lesson is about. Look, Charles.”

His eyes closed but when they opened he was staring at your core, his chest inflating with his deep breath. “Do I just start?” he asked hesitantly, wetting his lips with his tongue.

“Just look for now,” you said with a smile as you reached down your body. “Everyone has erogenous zones, places that feel good when stimulated, and these can be found all over your body, men and women. Thumbs, wrists, behind the knees, inner thighs, neck. Simply kissing and sucking these spots can feel just as good as foreplay.”

“Really?” he eyes widened in surprise and his eyes scanned all the places you had mentioned.

“Really, and I want you to find mine.” You bared your throat and relaxed back on your elbows. “You’ll watch for the physical reactions to confirm it. Deep breathing, moans, eyes closing, jaw slack, forehead pinched - they are some of the outward signs of pleasure.”

“Are you okay with this?” he asked as he found your bent knee the closest point to his lips and his tentative touch warmed your skin.

“I am, and I am pleased that you asked for consent.”

He smiled proudly at the praise before he lifted your leg and kissed the back of your knee, his eyes watching your face as he dragged his tongue along the tendon and crease. Your head fell back and he grinned. “There.”

“One,” you confirmed with a nod before he moved up to your thigh, trying the same thing with a kiss and a lap of his tongue. A giggle bubbled up and you squirmed away. “That’s just ticklish.”

“So not that one?” he double checked, and you shook your head. “Okay…”

The man was thorough and he made sure to find which ones were good for you and which ones weren’t. He paid attention to the signs and more than once he paused to jot down a note in the journal you had provided.

“You’re a good student,” you praised.

“I have a good teacher.”

You smiled at the compliment. “Would you like to explore lesson two tonight or rest? We have all weekend.”

His eyes gave away his answer before his lips did and you climbed off the desk. “Let’s start with the basics then. The first thing you want to do is make yourself comfortable. Craning your neck from where you lie between her legs isn’t comfortable and won’t encourage you to stay there if things take a little longer,” you explained as you moved into the bed and tossed him a pillow. “So, pop one of these under the small of her back.”

He looked at the pillow and shuffled forward. “Now?”

“Mhmm,” you hummed, lifting your hips up so he could lay it in place. “Two things happen here, one, it lifts her hips higher for better access which your neck will be thankful for, and two, it tilts her pelvis down and makes it much easier to work her g spot.”

“I thought that was a myth.”

“Why don’t you find out?” you dared. “Did you clip your nails before you came?”

He looked at the short nails and wiggled his fingers with a nod. He had followed every instruction in the email.

“Good, the last thing you want is to accidentally cut a partner with a sharp nail. Now the technique most people find effective is palm up, one or two fingers, gently work your way inside - it’s all about timing, take it slow and build to begin. Once your fingers are inside, curl your fingers up and you’ll feel the tissue is softer, almost spongy. Massaging pressure over that stimulated the g-spot, and if you are good at multitasking you can then add pressure from the outside too. Just place a hand low on her abdomen, slightly above the pelvic bone - don’t press too hard though as it will push on her bladder. First though, you’d probably want to start with warming her up with some cunilingus, eating pussy.”

Charles hopped off the bed and grabbed the journal, quickly jotting down the instructions with quiet eagerness.

“You can practice if you feel comfortable,” you invited when he put the pen and page down.

“Uh, yeah, please,” he stammered as he knelt on the bed and shuffled closer.

You reached into the bedside drawer and grabbed a bottle of lube. “I don’t need this,” you said and he smirked as he saw the other outward sign you had explained - arousal - it already lubricated your slit with the thought of what Charles was going to do to you. “But you should always keep a bottle at home. All women are different, some are drier than others no matter how aroused they get. Or, it’s handy for other areas of play like anal, or even a sensual massage.”

You put the bottle back and settled among the pillows. “Use me, explore, feel the different textures and I’ll guide you if you need it. Remember to look and listen to the signs of pleasure.”

Charles nodded and settled between your legs, getting up close and personal with your pussy. His indecision held him frozen as he wondered where to begin so you offered some guidance. “Finding the clit is a good starting point and then exploring around it to find the sensitive spots. Lick, suck, kiss, try it all.”

Encouraged, he laid a tentative kiss on your slit, his eyes rolled up to watch for your reactions. Seeing nothing, he took aim and tried again, his lip brushing over your clit and a soft sigh reached his ears. More confident, his tongue flicked out and caught your clit making you jolt.

“Was that good or bad?” he asked with a frown.

“Both, that spot is very sensitive - think of the slit at the tip of your cock. When it’s primed and ready that feels amazing but straight off the bat it is a little shocking to the system. You’re in the right area though, so keep exploring.”

This time he circled his tongue around and your moan was louder. You could practically feel his smile on your skin.

“That feels good,” you hummed as warmth spread through your body and he reached up on his own initiative, massaging your breasts. “Oh, you’re a natural now.”

Inspired, he explored further, his tongue lashing along your slit, dipping into your cunt. Your back arched off the bed with a gasp so he delved deeper, fucking you with his tongue as a familiar tightening grew in your core.

“Now would be the perfect time to try to find the g-spot,” you murmured as you fought the urge to succumb to the pleasure, but the lesson wasn’t over.

His rhythm faltered with a fresh wave of nervousness and he pulled back with shiny swollen lips to drag his fingertips through the mess he had made. The slick digits started gently, dipping inside your cunt a little deeper each time until it met the resistance of his palm.

“Feel around for the different textures and then curl your fingers a little.”

He did as instructed and his lips parted in surprise as he felt the spot. “Oh, wow, I’ve never noticed that…”

Your laugh made your pussy clench and he chuckled as your walls tightened around his fingers. “I like that feeling,” he commented with a flirty smirk.

“I thought you would,” you said with a wink. “I also do lessons on male stimulation if you’re ever interested.”

“Like…gay?” he asked quietly, a frown starting to form on his brows yet it wasn’t a look of distaste.

You were intimately aware that he still had two fingers curled in your cunt but it was good that he felt comfortable enough to hold a conversation at the same time. “It’s about learning the male anatomy, like what we did here. Whether that knowledge is used for self pleasure or with a partner, male or female, that is up to them.”

He contemplated the idea for a moment before he remembered what he was doing and began to work his wrist, curling his fingers in sync so they dragged over that delicious spot. He watched your sordid reaction with fascination before he grew bolder, his tongue finding your puffy clit.

“Oh fuck, yes,” you moaned loudly as your pussy tightened in anticipation. He had read your body perfectly and flicked the tip of his tongue over your clit but this time you were primed and ready. Your orgasm began with a tingle through your hair, leading to a fine tremor that danced down your spine, it raced down your legs and curled your toes. “Oh, Charles!”

He moaned against your clit as his wrist snapped forwards and back, the wet sounds of your body filling the room as his fingers fucked you through the explosion. Your cunt clenched and spasmed around the digits and stars spotted your vision. Your head fell back into the pillows with a cry and liquid gushed over his fingers with the release.

Disoriented and overstimulated, you reached between your legs and placed your hand over his. “Please, too much,” you whispered with a hoarse voice and rough aftershocks snapping at your thighs. “That was so fucking good, Charles. I, I just need a minute.”

You threw an arm over your head, your chest rising and falling rapidly as you waited for your heart rate to calm again. A small laugh bounced from your chest as you came down from the high and you finally had the strength to prop yourself back up on your elbows.

“That was perfect, Charles, you are a very quick learner.”

He was busy staring at his hand, your release coating his palm and running down his wrist. “So that’s what an orgasm feels like?” His brows pinched as he realised he had never felt that before.

“It’s what this one felt like. They can be different based on what areas are stimulated, the intensity, intimacy, lots of factors.” You could see he was still disappointed in himself for his previous ignorance and you sat up slowly, crossing your legs as you faced him. “Just because a woman doesn’t orgasm it doesn’t mean she didn’t enjoy the experience. Does a blow job feel good before you cum?”

He shrugged, still a little unconvinced. “Yeah.”

“See, forgive yourself and move on, now you know what to do for next time.” You carefully climbed off the bed on unsteady legs and offered your hand. “Last lesson of the night, aftercare.”

He stood up and froze, looking down at his pants. “Sorry, I kind of, uh, um…”

“Why are you sorry?” you laughed, drawing his attention away from the damp patch on his trousers. “You are meant to enjoy pleasuring your partner. Never apologise for that, Charles.”

BAD INFLUENCE・⁠｡♪ LN4 [+ OP81]

( lando norris x fem!reader ft. oscar piastri)

READ PART 2!

IN WHICH. getting high was never on oscar's roster. getting high and enjoying it with y/n and lando wasn't either, but that just makes it much more... exciting. (based on this ask)

WARNINGS. 16+, suggestive content, drug use (as per), high hotness pt 875443, oscar cameo (woop woop 🥳), make outs, first time getting high, oscar being whipped for lando and y/n? wbk, a bit of mxm content between drivers, shotgunning coz it's my most favourite thing ever

NOTE. LANDOSCAR!! this may probably be my favourite fic and is my longest so im looking forward to you guys reading it!!! well overdue in my humblest opinion, but i delivered hehe. enjoy my luvs and a very happy new year in advance mwah mwah mwah 😚😚 i appreciate all of you readers, thank you for all your support 💓💓💓

SIDENOTE. my askbox is now closed for requests 🤍

‧₊˚✩彡 taglist @laciijane @ferrarrigirl @norrizzandpia @mimi-luvzyu (use askbox above if you'd like to be added!)

frankly speaking, a 'you up?' text from oscar piastri, whose entire persona was an antithesis of what that type of message usually pertained to, isn't something lando was expecting at 1am after a tedious race weekend. knows oscar to be one who sleeps in too early, as if his circadian rhythm was built upon the foundation of a restrictive curfew, and even fathoming the fact that he is awake past 12 is rather peculiar.

yet, with the mutually pre-established sense that lando would be awake (he's probably an insomniac, but it's not too concerning for him to actually check), and that oscar was asking if he was just for the sake of, most likely because he's, unusually, unable to sleep, lando replies with much sluggish vim.

fingers moving as if they played in a dream, he's able to reply with 'yh, why????' and sends it off before throwing his phone on the bed. he thinks, if he's sober, he would care more that this is oscar!!!! who is normally adamant about getting sleep!!! and not looking more sleep deprived than his naturally downturned eyes already make he seem to be!!!! but his mind feels like gooey viscous, and he counts about 3,000 peaks and troughs of the popcorn ceiling above before losing count and seeking solace in the spliff that burns his throat like a madman. he ponders if he's going crazy.

it's not long after that the undulating, monotonous buzz from his phone tickles his skin and with a sigh he goes to reply. and as he does so, his girlfriend, curiosity piqued, perks up from the foot of the bed.

"who's texting you this late?"

she looks ridiculously amusing: head hanging off the edge, loose and completely yielding like a dead body, and the only thing that reassures lando of her consciousness is the occasion movement of her arm to take another drag.

he wedges the joint between his reddened lips, lips curling awkwardly to speak, "piastri. dunno what he wants th- oh shit."

he's never felt such a sinking, crippling feeling of his high escaping him like a broken dam before. it's weirdly chilling, and for a good second, he feels brightly and vividly sober again. the texts just... stare at him and he almost wants to hurl his phone at the wall and watch it rain a litany of debris.

osc: just... forgot to give you back your stuff that i borrowed

osc: found some green leaf stuff in it lol im a bit concerned

lando's read it so many times, he's more than certain he knows just how many letters it consists of. fingers hover above the keyboard but it looks like they're weirdly swimming in air as he debates just what to write, and y/n is suddenly hissing his name, having sat up.

"— lan'! fucking hell, what happened?"

he moves on autpilot, back resting up the headboard, "he's found my weed."

y/n— y/n snorts. she sighs, moves back to her original pose, and lando's brain feels like static.

"love, i thought it would be worse."

lando splutters, "worse? babe, this is already bad! he could tell management for all i know." the mere thought of that makes lando's mind congeal. nevertheless, high out of his wits, he thinks he would somehow find a way to continue even if he was implored to stop.

she's disagreeing and laughing, and lando doesn't know what to make of it.

"nah, you're good. oscar wouldn't tell a soul," it's silent as he sees a burst of smoke ascend from the edge of the mattress, "tell him to bring it over."

lando fights with himself in his head. it's hilarious, really, watching his face morph from one emotion to another, and after 5 minutes with no whooshing affirmative of a message being sent, y/n exhales.

the bed curves in as she crawls up towards lando, before plucking the phone from his grip.

"it's really not that deep, lan'," her voice feels like cotton in his ears, "oscar isn't like that."

her fingers fly across the keyboard, how she does so in her inebriated state, lando has no clue, and just as quickly as she snatched the phone, she's sliding it back between his fingers.

"how— how do you know that?"

all presumptions, really, lando thinks. they may be good friends, him and oscar, but they've still got many, many steps to go before he's reassured that the other wouldn't go running his mouth to management because he found *fucking weed* in his bag.

the little voice at the back of his mind seeths, 'you shouldn't be smoking anyway', but he ignores it. what the hell does it know?

y/n goes to straddle him, crotch digging into his. its a soft wave of pleasure that oozes from the pressure, and lando lets a small moan mix with the puff of smoke he blows out. they would've fucked if only his limbs didn't feel like they've been detached and re-stitched; maybe they'd end the night with a lazy ride.

his girlfriend smirks, all cunning and undeniably hot, sucking in as much smoke as she can before blowing it all on his face. if anybody else had done this, he'd turn feral, but there's something alluring when y/n's exhale tickles his skin like feathers.

"how do i know? well, oscar, he kinda reminds me of you—" lando interrupts with a raised brow and a questioning stare, but y/n proceeds, "both of you are- you were- itching for a release. him not as much as you, but i still see it."

and lando can't really deny that, because he sees it too. in the way oscar's eyes seem to dart with dreaded uncertainty, and the way his shoulders are always up and tense, as if he has been tied like a puppet.

"that's what i call 'destined to get high'," y/n banters. it makes lando snort and roll his eyes (ultimately omitting to dwell on the sliver of seriousness that leaks through).

"dunno why you're rolling your eyes, you were basically begging me to give you a spliff," y/n taunts, and even though he groans at the reminiscence, he doesn't deny it. doing so would be like calling himself michael schumacher.

"yeah, whatever," he takes a lazy drag, a hand sliding up and down y/n's thigh, "at least i'm sexy when getting stoned."

y/n cackles, dissolving into a small giggle as she twirls her fingers through lando's curls; she never wants to let him go.

"damn right, baby."

another ping sounds from lando's phone, and subconsciously, his hands snakes to get it.

when he turns it on, he doesn't think he can be gobsmacked with such intensity twice in a day.

landooo: yh just bring it over

landooo: you can join us if you'd like

landooo: 😉

osc: uhm sure..

"y/n."

-.-.-.-.-

weed.

he'll be fucking damned.

the laugh that is punched out of him is one of disbelief, and, quite frankly, sheer horror.

he'd only wanted to borrow some shaving cream, after all, he's not one to favour the prickly itch of stubble. and in perfect, restless lando fashion, he was given the whole essentials bag and tasked with finding it himself.

which then leads him to now, palm burning with the weight of three spliffs that had somehow tumbled out of a flat metal tin.

he stares at them for so long that he might as well have burned holes into them (ironic), and in a flurry of movement, he's stuffing everything back into the bag, zipping it closed. if he doesn't see it, then he doesn't know it's there. cool.

but he's just standing, in the middle of his hotel room, completely clueless and delirious. he doesn't know how many times he wipes perspiration off his palms and onto his shorts, neither does he know how he's able to text lando about his findings.

originally, he thought that sending the infamous, suggestively connotated 'you up?' would've trimmed a bit of the tension away, yet it seems like lando, without fail, waters the situation with a fuck-ton more.

"'join us'? fucking hell."

oscar feels absolutely scorched from the wisps of his hair to the tips of his toes, and a spark of something curls in his gut.

no, absolutely not.

it's- he flips his watch to check the time- one am for fuck's sake, and lando's— getting high. smoking weed. [most likely] with his girlfriend.

whatever it is that makes his gut its abode curls even more as he shoves his feet into the nearest shoes he can find, and tames his hair in the mirror by the doorway. finding the night already too hard to bare, he doesn't dwell on what he'd done, and heads off to lando's room with sickening anticipation swirling within the grooves of his skin.

the walk is only a few seconds long, and oscar curses the fact that they weren't roomed further apart (impractical in usual circumstances, but the current predicament is anything but usual). he guesses he stands there, navy blue wash bag clutched in a vice grip, for many minutes (his concept of time tonight is royally fucked— how has he stayed up this late?) before he musters up some courage to knock on the door. in the quietude of the night, the sound is magnified to the point where he winces and hopes that no one else on their floor wakes up.

he hears a quiet rustle from behind the door, sighs for the umpteenth time that day (honestly, he could have a smoke for himself to- no.) before it's swiftly open.

y/n stands there, no sign of a spliff in sight, but her heavy lidded red eyes (that must hurt, right?) and the pungent smell of weed is enough to tell.

"ah, golden boy is here," y/n's grinning, as much as she can do without it looking robotic, and oscar blushes.

"g-golden boy?"

"i said what i said," she opens the door wider, and oscar's vision catches a limp leg hanging off the side of the bed, "you coming in or what?"

he's never been in such a mind-tearing crossroad before. wants to be reasonable and say no, afterall his job is on the line here (just because lando hasn't been caught, doesn't mean he won't, too). but then he's thinking that he's played angel's advocate for too long, and, as if the universe wants to commit a double homicide, lando is walking over, countenance lackadaisical and bends down as he wraps his arms around her waist.

he asks for forgiveness, because such a temptation before him is completely unforgiving , and oscar finds his vascillations come to an end the second he makes eye contact with his teammate.

it's then he realises that the something that had been driving his intestines mad was sheer want, and, having a mind of their own, his feet shuffle into the room, decision finalised by the click of the door shutting behind him.

he just hopes he doesn't regret this is in the morning.

the couple, with eased familiarity, move back to the bed, leaving oscar standing there, lost and expecting. lando regains possession of the spliff, back flat against the bed and arm bent behind his head.

he's turning to oscar, several beats later, with a heated look that just pulls the australian right in.

"put the bag down, osc," he's demanding— oh fuck, "and come over here."

oscar feels rather mortified at the effect lando's assertiveness has on him. his heart curdles, drips away like goo, and he can't think straight.

toes off his shoes, sliding them out of the way with his foot, before dumping the bag on lando's luggage and tentatively making his way to the bed.

it's excruciatingly daunting, must he say, and he's sure it's blatant because y/n is grinning softly and beckoning him closer with the wave of a hand.

"you're good, oscar."

then he's fully on the bed, a thin sheen of gray blurring his vision and the stench of smoke so thick, he could get high off it alone.

lando's splayed in front of him, watching intensely as his fingers accomodate a joint between them, and y/n's at his side, right at the foot of the bed, fiddling with a metal tin of her own.

he wonders just how long they've been doing this for.

"for me, since i was 18/19 maybe. lando started about a year ago."

oscar's brain fucking spasms.

his head whips to y/n, then back to lando, who just smiles and takes another drag, "a year?!"

the girl beside him giggles, turning back to him with a freshly rolled spliff of his own, "yeah. practically drooling to take a hit."

his teammate groans, dragging a hand down his face before sitting up, they seem to go through this ordeal once or twice before.

before he can question any more, y/n points the joint at him, "you sure you want to do this?"

funny, he's asking himself this. has been ever since he read the proposition that lando (y/n) had sent, and he had replied with a seemingly confused 'sure'. heat feels like a thousands ants crawling up his body, and the silence is even worse because he's certain his ears are filled with cement.

"am i— am i gonna get addicted to... this?"

lando shakes his head just as y/n shrugs, "depends, love. if you've got good enough self control and don't rely on it too much, you'll be fine."

oscar gives a sigh of relief, but turns tense again as he looks at lando. almost telepathically, he knows what oscar is thinking.

"no osc, i'm not hooked on this. i only do it every couple of weeks or so."

his hands raise up in defense, "just asking, mate."

"and you have every right to, baby," y/n says, then scoops his hand into her grip and puts the spliff in his hand, "now take this and let lando teach you."

oscar doesn't know what to do with it. he just stares at the green stick in his hand and wills up some courage to look back up at lando. for the first time in 22 years, he's going to experience what it's like to get high, and the excitement that crawls up his spine is chilling.

"take this," lando pushes a bottle of water into his hands, and oscar looks at it in confusion.

"it's your first time, so it'll probably make you cough a ton. drinking water helps."

oscar nods, gently taking and unscrewing it open. he gulps it down like a starved animal, and almost chokes when he notices his teammates girlfriend staring bullets into his face. his heart jumps and he stops drinking.

"now put the spliff in your mouth and let me light it for you."

oscar does so, feeling the weight of the rolled joint between his lips is completely maddening.

his teammate fishes a black lighter from the bedside table, then scooches closer to oscar's crossed legs. lando's body is like a furnace of drunken heat, and it only gets worse when his hand lands right on oscar's bare thigh.

it feels perfect and oscar thinks he's surfing on the waves of euphoria already.

"this good?" lando questions his touch, and oscar doesn't waste time to nod, "alright— when i light it, you're gonna try and inhale as much as you can. don't let it stay in your throat or you're gonna cough."

oscar bobs his head affirmatively.

"if you can't, just take it in small amounts, not too much that it hits your throat."

then lando's leaning in, flame swaying from the lighter, and oscar's eyebrows scrunch as he follows it closer and closer to the spliff.

it's instaneous, the heat that fills his mouth, and in a hurried succession, oscar is inhaling and spluttering like a madman. his eyes are burning, they may already be red at this point, and his nose feels ripped off.

"take it easy, love," a hand- y/n's- rests upon his back and he finds himself needing composure, and not only from his failed attempt to smoke.

"wow uh that was— uhm..."

lando rubs his thigh, with the intention to comfort, but oscar finds himself more pent up than before. the weed is already kicking in and his mind feels chopped into pieces and mixed with cake batter, and every touch feels like a punch.

"you good to go again?" lando queries. oscar nods, his throat feeling too rough to speak up, "okay then, take your time and calm yourself down. small intakes, yeah?"

the spliff goes back between his lips, and with lando watching him like he's the best movie he's ever seen, he's sucking in the smoke cautiously and— fuck, it feels so so good. he's unravelled everywhere, not a kink left in his joint nor a knot remaining in his muscles, and when he breathes the smoke out, he lets his head fall back with a smile on his face.

"there you go," lando's voice sounds loose and airy in his mind, and oscar finds himself loving it.

"look at him, babe," y/n chimes from beside him, and his head rolls to give her an inebriated grin, "told you he was meant for it."

lando hums, agreeing, from in front of him, "gonna shotgun with him."

whatever that is, y/n is eager to see it happen, and oscar gives lando a confused look. it only evokes a cute grin from the other, who plucks the spliff from oscar's fingers.

"i'll take a hit and blow it in your mouth, if that's cool with you."

and— oscar moans involuntarily. he doesn't know where it comes from but it's practically punched out of him with how loud it is, and lando smirks widely. all oscar can do is watch as he fills his mouth with smoke and shuffles closer to him. his heart palpitates, beating like a drum piece, and his skin is damp and flushed from the intensity of it all.

lando assesses oscar's decision, confirming his consent as he nods, and slowly, lando snakes an arm around his neck, pulling him closer. oscar is compliant, body wanting and downright desperate, mouth opening on autopilot.

the second lando's lips attach to his and the smoke is pushed into his mouth, oscar fucking loses it. his eyes roll to the back of his head, and he's grabbing lando's hair and pushing his mouth deeper.

he's kissing his teammate with all he has to give, and lando— he's reciprocating it, lips hungry on oscar's, biting and licking everywhere. for a second, oscar can't think about anything, mind filled with just lando, as his tongue slips in and turns the kiss filthy.

oscar hasn't made out with anyone with such ferocity. he's encompassed in scorching heat, and the euphoria just gets better as lando trails his lips down his neck. the bites and licks are inclement, and oscar's sure there'd be marks tomorrow, angry and purple, but right now, he doesn't care. not when lando's hands creep up his shirt, and run up his torso, resting upon his nipples and twirling them around his fingers.

"oh fuck, lando," his moan is so high pitched it sounds foreign and it's almost hard for him to believe that it comes from him. but he's sure it does, because another is forced out as soft hand turns his head to the side and there's another set of lips on his in an instant.

he thinks he could hooked on y/n's kisses, warm, wet and so fucking sensual, he feels worshipped. not an inch of skin is missed by her tongue, and with every drag of her lips against his, he's concluding that this would be the perfect way to die.

oscar's so hard in his jeans from lando's stimulation, y/n's kisses, and the heightened sensation of everything from the weed, that he almost cums in his shorts. he can only imagine how plump it could be, and how a mouth on it would have him sobbing for days.

but he doesn't have to, because lando creeps a hand to his crotch and squeezes. the whine that leaves oscars mouth and into his teammate's girlfriend's is criminal.

"gonna suck you off so good, osc," lando moans in his ear, breath warm and words dirty, "you like that?"

and as oscar begs him to, he thinks that maybe getting high with lando and y/n isn't so bad afterall.

BLUE FUNK.

 — A. GRIEZMANN

pairing: antoine griezmann x fem! reader

summary: the couple face the horrors of a bombing attack in paris. the only solution to cease some of the pain away is by being held by their lover.

warning: traumatized reader, lots of angst, cursing, mentions of death and loss, mentions of anxiety disorders, ptsd, and fluff at the end.

word count:  2,7k | ( gif not mine! )

masterlist!

…   A VIOLENT SOUND OF EXPLOSION ECHOED THROUGH THE STADIUM, causing the football players to freeze at the spot as their eyes frantically searched for their teammates and coach. Their faces were painted with confusion, their eyebrows furrowed along with a thumping heart that was beating rapidly inside their chest. The crowd held their breath, their heads turning to each other for any reassurance, but they all mirrored the same reaction — fright. Another explosion was fired outside the stadium, causing a haywire of people screaming blue murder as the commentator ordered an evacuation.

        Antoine’s body became impossibly still, the loud blaring of alarms echoing inside his ears as his eyes darted around manically, searching for his family. He just stood there, his feet glued to the grass while his eyes were transfixed with horror. His chest prickled, squeezing his lungs making him unable to breathe properly. His heart thumped loudly, hammering violently against his chest.

        He seemed to snap out of his daze, his feet going on autopilot as he followed the rest of his team toward the dark tunnel. A rough hand patted his back reassuringly, causing his head to snap towards them, his glistening blue eyes locking with theirs. A pulse roared in his throat, making his jaw tremble with fear as the blood drained from his skin. The sound of cries and screams filled his ears, making him dig his fingers into his friend’s arm, his lips opening and closing without making a sound.

        At the periphery of his vision, he noticed two people walking toward them. His eyes were clouded with tears and he squinted his eyes, moving his head to the side to catch a clear view. He drew a breath he didn’t know he was holding and burst into a frenzied run, collapsing into his parents’ arms. He hid his face into his mother’s neck, his trembling hands clutching her jacket while listening to her soothing words.

        “It’s alright, son. It’s gonna be okay.”

        Just as he took in his mother’s words, another wave of panic settled inside his chest like a tidal wave. His mind wandered to his sister and girlfriend, who were unable to watch the match. He remembered begging [Y/N] to come for his match, expressing how she’s his lucky charm. His sister, Maud, whined about how much they spent time together and wanted a girl’s day, shamelessly snatching her away from her brother to watch a concert instead. Guilt churned into his stomach, the knots tightening every time he breathed.

        Antoine quickly pulled away from his mother’s embrace, his eyes bulging from their sockets. “What about Maud and [Y/N]?” he managed to let out, his voice hoarse while clutching her jacket into a fist.

        His parents shared a worried look before looking at him, making him frown. “Maud is fine, she’s safe. She called us, but [Y/N] wasn’t with her. Maud said they separated when the bombing happened. We tried calling her, but-” Antoine violently shook his head, interrupting his father. “Well, try again! W-We need to get out here, we need to get them.” he snapped, running a hand through his sweaty locks as his mind went through endless scenarios.

        “They’re gonna be okay. How do you even know if they’re bombing at the concert?” His father genuinely asked, his eyes softening. He inched closer to his son and rubbed his back comfortably.

        Antoine clenched his jaw, his chest pains making him draw a shaky breath. He opened his mouth, licking his lips before voicing his thoughts. “They told us where the bombing is, dad. It’s near the concert and we need to get to them-” he stressed, his voice trembling with fear.

        His father shook his head, making his son furrow his eyebrows with confusion. “We can’t leave the stadium, not until we know we’re safe,” he said in a calming tone, trying to ease his nerve, but it seemed to worsen his state.

        Before he could let out a word, the guards evacuated the players into the dressing room, including Antoine, who peered about wild-eyed and looked at his parents, who told him they weren’t leaving his side. He walked with wobbly steps, clutching his chest, his hand turned into a fist as he took a few pats on his chest to cease the agony.

        Antoine was hunched at the bench, his shaky hands dialing his sister’s number. He squeezed his eyes shut, his legs aggressively bouncing as he waited for her voice. A stab of anxiety creased into his gut, making his heart stumble over its own rhythm. His pounding heart was the only thing he could hear and he didn’t notice his sister calling his name on the other line.

        “Antoine?”

        He jumped reflexively, a long sigh escaping from his lips. His hand clutched at his shirt, rubbing his chest with a scowl. He painfully swallowed a lump in his throat before speaking. “M-Maud, are you okay?” he said in a quiet voice, squinting his eyes repeatedly.

        “Don’t worry about me, I’m fine. It’s [Y/N] I’m worried about. She doesn’t answer any of my calls.”

        Antoine’s mind went spirally out of control, stuck on his thoughts about his girlfriend lost somewhere in the massive crowd. His eyes moved to the door, his frown deepening at the sight of security guards blocking the entrance. He bit the insides of his cheeks, looking back at his teammates. “We’re not allowed to leave.” he lamented, swallowing his fear as he gave his teammate, who was in the same situation as he was, a reassuring smile.

        “Good, we don’t need another one getting lost. Stay where you are, okay? Don’t do anything stupid, brother. I’m sure she’s fine, I promise you we’re getting out of here alive.”

        Alive. A chill went down his spine, prickling his skin like needles as he let out a shaky scoff, shaking his head at the choice of her words. “Please be careful, Maud. I swear to God if you-” he began to lecture, making his sister cut him off.

        “We’re getting out here, Antoine.”

        The line got cut off and the French man was left in his own thoughts, his mind going a hundred miles per hour. His body grew tense to the point of shaking and he clutched his phone into his hand before placing it beside him. He sniffled, grabbing the side of his head, feeling a headache forming through his skull. He leaned his body against the wall, his eyes closed as he rocked back and forth.

        While Antoine was slowly losing his sanity, [Y/N] was crouched behind a metal staircase, her legs becoming numb as her eyes frantically darted across the screaming crowd. Tears slid down her crimson cheeks as her lips muttered a prayer. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying desperately to block out the screams of terror erupting inside the stadium. As much as she tried to hold it in, she couldn’t and her body betrayed her.

        A choked sob emitted from her lips, her hands covering her chest as though trying to stop her heart from escaping. Hard knots formed in her throat, making her unable to breathe. She silently cried, her trembling hands covering her face. Her purse was nowhere to be seen, which meant she couldn’t phone anyone. On top of that, she lost Maud when the first bombing happened. Guilt prickled inside her chest, violently cursing inside her mind for not sticking by her side.

         [Y/N] remembered the sound of the explosion, her life flashing before her eyes as the bomb dropped. She kept Maud close to her side, their hands intertwined as they pushed through the body mass with fear. But somehow, they happened to separate due to endless people pushing and trying to get the hell out of there. She could only pray. Pray that she was safe and sound, away from the horror she was witnessing.

        She sniffled, drawing a deep breath before shakily exhaling. She shifted to the side, moving closer to the stairs, her bloodshot eyes darting across the area. She did a double take, her eyes finally landing on a person laying on the muddy grown, blood surged from his mouth as they held a tight hand on his side.

        She let out a gasp, her chin trembling like a child. She sobbed, praying and hoping it wasn’t Maud. Her body violently shook as she tried to stand up from her painful position. Her unsteady legs managed to pull her up and before she knew it, she was on the muddy ground, holding the stranger’s injury with a loud sob. “I don’t know what to do, I’m so sorry.” she gasped between her cries, looking at the stranger with panic.

        Her hands were stained with blood, pooling underneath her clothes as she wrapped her scarf around their side, adding pressure. She sniffled, her nose red and runny as she tried to keep them conscious. She hiccuped, inching closer to grab a hold of their face. She noticed their eyes were trying hard to stay awake and she slapped their cheek, earning a wince in response.

        The stranger grabbed her hand, a firm but gentle touch making her pause. “Y-You need to get out of here.” they croaked out, their voice raspy and hoarse.

        [Y/N] frowned, her tears trailing down her cheeks. She shook her head, squeezing the man’s hand. “We need to get you to a hospital, sir.” she wavered, her voice cracking. It felt like a fist was closing over her heart, watching the color of the man’s face turn grey.

        An explosion outside the stadium snapped her out of her state, making her quickly turn her head to the arena with dread. She whimpered, her head turning to look back at the man but instantly regretted it when she noticed his eyes closed shut. “No, no!” she cried, shaking him with her blurry vision.

        She cursed, cupping his face with her hand. She clenched her jaw, her trembling hand reaching for his pulse. When she couldn’t find one she broke down into tears, her scream of rage devolved into a sobbing mess.

        “[Y/N]!” She gasped, her body jerking towards a familiar voice. It was hard to see past the tears clouding her vision, but she knew it was Maud. She sat slouched, unable to pull herself upright as she saw her falling to her knees in front of her, grabbing her face before wrapping an arm around her.

        “Thank God, I found you! We’ve been looking for you. You didn’t answer your phone..” she stressed into her ear, gently caressing her hair before pulling away. Maud’s face turned into concern, noticing the blood on her body. Her eyes went wide, her hands searching for any injury. “Oh my, are you hurt?”

        [Y/N]’s eyes blinked slowly, taking her in. She slowly shook her head, her brows shot up with disbelief. She looked down, noticing the dried-up blood etched on her hands. She placed a trembling hand on her shirt, feeling the blood itching her skin. Tears welled inside her eyes at the thought of a stranger dying in her arms. She let out a sharp breath, “He died, Maud. I couldn’t–I didn’t-” her rambling led to her losing her voice.

        She felt Maud’s warm hands cupping her face, her hand pulling her face toward her. “Hey, sweetie. We need to get out of here. Antoine’s already having my head.” she said in a gentle tone, helping her up on her feet as they walked toward a security guard.

        She grabbed onto Maud, her hands clutching her sweater as her eyes were looking down at her shoes, not wanting to watch the horrors of the night haunting her mind. She thought of Antoine, her sweet, loving boyfriend, who was probably worried sick. She longed for his touch, wanting his arms around hers, shielding her from her pain. Worry grew in her stomach, “A-Antoine,” she rasped out, earning Maud’s attention.

        “He’s fine, physically. Mentally? He’s scared shitless.” Maud told her, her face turning into a worried expression, watching [Y/N] shaken form. The pair neared the exit with the guard, who helped them guide them into the car that was waiting for them. Maud let her get inside the car first, placing a blanket around her in the process to keep her warm.

        [Y/N] had her knees closed up to her chest as incoherent mutters emitted from her lips as she stared at nothing. Maud let out a sigh, her heart clenching at the sight of her best friend. She placed a hand on her shoulder, gently removing dirt from her hair. She watched her shift in her seat, turning her body toward her, her lips slowly opening. “I watched a man die, Maud.” [Y/N] whispered, her trembling hands fiddling with the cotton blanket as she blankly stared at Maud.

        Before Antoine’s sister could voice her thoughts, the car stopped. The car door opened, and the same guard held his hand out for [Y/N], giving her a look of sympathy. She sank into her seat, her shoulders jumping to her ears as she looked at the man with an angsty look. She looked at Maud, who gave her a comforting smile.

        Taking the man’s hand, she stepped out of the vehicle. The cold wind ruffled her hair, hitting her skin and making her flinch at the sensation. Her face felt bruised from all the crying and her throat was prickling, almost like needles were piercing into her jugular making her have a hard time breathing.

        Maud held her arm and guided her to her family, who were standing beside an anxious Antoine, whose body was turned away. She gave them a small smile before calling out to them, making them instantly turn their attention to the girls.

        Once Antoine locked eyes with [Y/N], he broke into a fit of cries before bursting into a run. He took her into his arms, his body shaking uncontrollably as his lips mumbled incoherent things inside her neck, choking on his sobs. “I was so fucking worried about you. God, I thought I lost you.” he cried, his shoulders shaking as he felt her arms wrapping around his neck.

        [Y/N] hid her face into his chest, pulling him closer to her body as she inhaled his warmth. She sniffled, slowly pulling away, and looked at him, her face turning into a frown. He mirrored her expression, his scowl deepening at her state. Dried blood was smeared on her left cheek and her mascara was stained under her eyes along with a small bruise on her left eyebrow.

        Antoine cursed, tears sliding down his chin. “Oh my God, is that blood? Are you hurt? Why are you covered in blood, mon amour? (my love).” He hiccuped, his shaky hands cupping her face, trying to wipe the dried blood with his thumb.

        His hand traveled to her body, his hands searching for any injury, but found none. [Y/N] grabbed his hands, bringing them to her lips and planting light kisses. She gave him a tired smile, her bloodshot eyes tinted with a slight glint. “It’s not my blood, honey. I’m okay.” she reassured, caressing his hands with her thumb.

        Antoine sighed in relief, the knot in his stomach ceasing. He drew a deep exhale, blinking away his tears before taking her into his arms. He kissed her forehead, prepping small pecks around her hairline and hugging her close to his body. “I thought I lost you. I thought– you–” he wobbled with his words, shaking his head as he closed his eyes, rocking them back and forth.

        [Y/N]’s stomach churned, her eyes softening. She pulled away from his embrace, but had her arms placed around his waist. Her hand drifted up to hold the side of his neck as her thumb brushed his jaw. He melted into her touch, reaching up to cover his hand with hers. “You didn’t. I’m right here, baby.” she told him, her voice barely above a whisper, but he heard her nonetheless.

        She wiped a tear away with her thumb, her tired eyes trailing over his features with her lips curved upwards. She pressed a gentle kiss to his lips before resting her forehead against his. “I’m okay. You’re okay. We’re okay, Antoine.” she said in a soothing tone, planting another soft kiss on his lips as they sank into each other’s embrace. 

Ladies, gents and non binary pals. Everyone who feels like their boobs are too small, too big or down right bad:

You are gorgeous, you are beautiful. No matter what the size of your girls are.

It almost seems like women can’t win to me. Small boobs are criticised, big boobs are sexualised, lopsided boobs are termed as “unnatural” when they are really the most common and natural thing out there.

So 🖕respectfully fuck the haters. You are stunning with your small boobs, big boob, droopy boobs, perky boobs, no cleavage, lotsa cleavage or whatever else you may have. Those entitled men and women who feel the need to make you feel bad about yourself clearly have problems of their own.

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself ever 🤝😤.

THIS ^^

Me: aw cute photo , yuki smiling happy as ever

My reaction when i read the other tweet:💀

💀😭😭brooo

TAME THE WOLFF| T.WOLFF

Pairing; Angry!Toto Wolff x Calm!Wife!reader

Summary; A few scenarios in which Toto is angry and frustrated and you’re there to calm him down and save his poor team from his wrath

Warnings; angry Toto.

F1 Master List

It was no secret that during a race weekend Toto could get a little….frustrated.

Okay, frustrated was putting it way too lightly, the man got way too passionate about his work and when things didn’t go the way they’re supposed to it was like a volcano was erupting in his mind and he just loses all sense of control leading him to his famous actions of smashing headphones.

The Austrian was already intimidating enough with his tall stature and the confidence he eluded but when he was angry he wasn’t just intimidating, he was scary.

The way his dark eyes seemed to turn almost entirely black and how the veins in his forehead throbbed were signs that had the Mercedes team shifting in their seats and the moment he started running his hands down his face was the moment the higher people in the team would get their phones out and call for help.

That help being you.

It had taken a long time for the team to acknowledge the effect you had on their team principle because he never got angry when you attended races but it was when you arrived to races later in the day that they started to see how things changed.

It was one particular day when Toto had arrived to the track already a bit frustrated, whether that was because of your absence or not they didn’t know but the pile up of disastrous events had lead to the team principle throwing things and shouting at the top of his lungs.

Then you arrived.

You certainly hadn’t expected to walk into the garage and be greeted by your husband in a fit of rage and the entire team stood frozen like petrified animals but the sight of fear on their faces had upset you greatly, especially knowing that it was because of Toto’s, quite frankly unnecessary, tantrum.

You walked over to your husband, who hadn’t even noticed you amidst his anger, and gently placed your hand on his arm.

Any member of the team would’ve called you crazy in that moment, walking over to the beast of a man with no fear on your face when he could have easily turned around and launched you across the room without even thinking.

He had been ready to throw a fist at the person who had the gall to touch him before he saw that it was you, his beloved wife looking at him with nothing but love in your eyes even as he was acting like a brute.

The team had never seen him change personalities so quickly in that moment.

You didn’t say anything to him, instead you placed your other hand on his back and guided him away from everyone, you wouldn’t have been able to move him by yourself but he allowed you to guide him away with absolutely no argument.

You opened the door of his makeshift office, saying nothing as he strode straight past you without a glance, steam practically spilling from his ears, you could feel the anger radiating off of him.

Apart from his unsettled shuffling the room was filled with an intense silence as you shut the door, simply watching as his chest rose and fell harshly, you could see that he was trying to calm himself down now that he was in your presence but he was struggling to do so and that was only frustrating him further.

"Sit down," you gently instructed him, nodding towards the small sofa pushed up against the wall of the small room.

He wanted to argue but he stopped himself and did as he was told, sitting down on the sofa he buried his face into his hands.

You walked over to him and wrapped your arms around the back of his head, allowing him to lean into your stomach, you ran your hands through his hair.

"I understand you’re stressed and that things aren’t going the way you want them too but the way you’re shouting is unfair to the team, they are not your verbal punching bag but you’re treating them as they are."

Toto closed his eyes, releasing a heavy sigh, he wrapped his arms around your body to bring you closer.

He knew you were right, you always were and that’s what he loved about you, how you were always there to talk some sense into him.

He didn’t say anything though, he just held you firmly but gently and used your presence to calm him down.

There were many things he needed to be doing right now but he couldn’t find himself to care, right now the most important thing was calming down and spending time with you, no matter how long that took.

When the Mercedes team heard the door to their boss’ office unlock and saw the man himself walk out completely calm with you following shortly after, they were beyond amazed.

It was that day that the members of the team who had your number put you on speed dial in preparation for when an incident like this happened again, which it no doubt would.

"It seems that Toto Wolff is beginning to get a little bit frustrated down in the Mercedes garage."

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the unnecessary commentary that wasn’t helping in the slightest.

Your husband was getting agitated and the nearby team members were nervously glancing in his direction as though they were mentally preparing themselves for him to blow his top.

Instead of waiting for Toto to lose it, you stood behind him and loosely wrapped your arms around him, thumbing at the collar of his shirt.

Everyone around could see the tension immediately release from his body just from your comforting touch.

Toto grabbed one of your hands with his own, stroking his thumb back and forth across your skin, using the motion as a way to ground himself.

The whole garage went silent at the sight of both of their cars spinning off the track in turn 1. What once was going to be a promising race from starting second and third has turned into a disaster in such a short amount of time.

Everyone was utterly speechless as the entire team just sat there staring at their monitors in shock.

But then they actually acknowledged that it was silent and all simultaneously turned towards their boss with confused stares only to see you blocking him from the cameras that were pointing into the garage, leaning down and whispering, what they could only guess were calming, words to him.

Whilst the cameras couldn’t see his face, the team could and they could tell he was, rightfully so, furious as the situation, he wasn’t shouting or throwing things.

He definitely wanted to but he wasn’t.

You weren’t really in the mood to be in the garage today surrounded by so much noise to the point you could barely hear yourself think and the smell of fuel so strong it made you nauseous but you still wanted to support your husband as you weren’t able to accompany him everywhere he went so you settled in his makeshift office on what was possibly the worlds smallest sofa with your laptop sitting in your lap and your headphones placed over your ears to block out the noise from the team outside and the cars on the track.

It had been hours and you were content in the alone time you were getting, it was just you and your music playing in your ears that you didn’t notice the multiple calls you were receiving.

Unbeknownst to you, outside of his office, your husband was kicking off and nothing anyone did or said could calm him down.

The team had never witnessed Toto as angry as he was right now, the veins in his forehead more prominent than ever and whilst most didn’t understand the German words coming out of his mouth, they knew he couldn’t be saying anything nice.

Bono was trying to get a hold of you for possibly the twentieth time and he was still having no luck, he felt the pressure of the teams eyes on him, begging for the news that you’d be coming knowing that he was only one of a few that had your number and the means to find you right now but he wasn’t getting anywhere.

Poor Lewis and George were getting the brunt of the Austrian’s anger and even though they hadn’t a clue of what he was saying, they were starting to question the security of their jobs.

Luckily, a mechanic who had just entered the garage and was completely taken aback by the scene in front of him, awkwardly side shuffled to Bono and questioned what was going on. "He’s acting crazy! I can’t get a hold of Y/N."

"Didn’t she go straight into his office when they arrived earlier?" The mechanic asked.

Bono looked at him in shock and relief before jumping to his feet and wasting no time as he jogged in the direction of Toto’s office.

It was rude but he didn’t bother knocking, he almost cried when he saw you sitting there.

You got the fright of your life as the door burst open but the sight of a frantic Bono caused you to remove your headphones and look at him in confusion.

"Oh thank god you’re here! Toto’s gone mental!"

You released a sigh at his words and pushed your laptop to the side and got up from the sofa. "What for now?"

"I honestly have no idea but if he doesn’t calm down soon then Lewis and George might just start crying and Toto looks like he’s about to burst a blood vessel."

The moment you stepped out into the short, narrow corridor you heard your husbands angry German shouting. "Mein Gott," you muttered to yourself.

Entering the main part of the garage you weren’t greeted by a pretty sight at all, Bono wasn’t overreacting in the way he described Toto, Lewis and George and let’s not forget about the rest of the team.

You headed straight for your husband, not acknowledging the looks of relief you saw build on everyone’s faces, especially the two drivers’.

You didn’t even need to say anything to Toto, you just stood in front of him and looked up at him with a stern gaze that soon got him to shut up but his eyes were still blazing with fury as he looked down at you, you knew his anger wasn’t aimed at you, he was just still pent up with emotions.

You nodded in the direction of his office and simply walked away, expecting him to follow after you if he knew what was good for him.

He followed you.

The moment you heard him close the door you turned to him. "This needs to stop."

He looked at you furiously, "how am I supposed to stop when I have two drivers that can’t even get through a lap without crashing into each other!"

"Don’t you dare talk to me like that, Torger!" Your voice cut through the air as you glared at him which soon caused his face to shift from angry to wounded as you scolded him.

"How hard is it for you to simply sit them down and give them a stern talking to, there’s no need for the way you completely blow your top, you’re acting like a child throwing a tantrum."

He was still beyond angry, you could see it in his eyes and the way he shifted on his feet and he was about to retort but you cut him off. "I don’t want to hear you right now, I want you to sit down in silence and calm down before a single word comes out of your mouth."

He pursed his lips, not at all happy but he did as he was told and sat down in the chair behind the small desk, you didn’t spare him a glance as you sat yourself back where you were before Bono came searching for you, pulling your laptop back onto your lap to finish what you had been doing.

It was a good 15/20 minutes later when you heard him get up from his seat and make his way over to you. He sat beside you and rested his head on your shoulder causing you to roll your eyes but a smile grew on your face at his actions, you were glad he couldn’t see it though.

You continued to carry on with what you were doing, letting him decide how he wanted your conversation to go and so it remained silent for a few more minutes with you and Toto simply sat there, him resting against you simply soaking up the comfort of your presence.

He shifted and pressed a kiss to your temple before returning back to his position. "Are you mad at me?" He asked when you remained silent.

You closed your laptop and put it away before shifting the both of you so you were up straight and looking at each other. "No," you told him honestly, "I just wish you wouldn’t let your frustrations get the best of you all the time."

He looked down at your words before looking back into your eyes with a sincere look, "I’m sorry."

"It’s okay," you smiled at him, reaching out a hand to brush his hair back. "We just need to find a way for you to keep yourself together."

"You’re the way," he replied immediately which stunned you and he was okay with that. He pulled you into his arms and you both just sat there.

You could be quite the opposite at times but you were content with that because you would always be there to ground him whenever his emotions got out of control.

I Need Your Help - LN4/CL16/OP81/MV1

Another TikTok prank trend being delivered. This one is only for the tampon users though, sorry.

Imo Oscar's is the goal for a man but so entirely unrealistic.

No part 2 requests please

Lando

Lando is probably one of the most squeamish people y/n knows. The man is easily going to go fail this test of what he'd be willing to do for her. If the reaction is him passing out at the thought she'll almost definitely not be sharing it with the world.

"Lando!" Y/n calls out managing her best faked panicked voice.

"One second! One sec-I'm just-alright, I'm here what's wrong?" Lando asks with a smile but his expression drops when he sees her amazing acting skills in play and tricking him into really believing she's scared. "Baby? What's wrong?"

"I need your help..." Y/n mumbles biting her lip.

"Help? Help with what?"

"My tampon is stuck."

The amount of effort that goes into not letting a smile break out across her face. It's so much harder to make this believable that she thought.

"Your-Your what?" Lando frowns retracting back with a confused frown. "Did you just say your tampon?"

"My tampon is stuck, the string snapped and I can't get it out." Y/n states actually feeling herself really get into this as she realises how much that would actually make her panic if it really happened. "Can you help me?"

There's a long pause and for a moment y/n is beginning to get offended, but equally she sort of knew Lando wouldn't be eager.

"There would be blood?" Lando asks making her nod. "Ok, I just needed some mental preparation."

"Are you sure?" Y/n asks earning a smile a nod. "I could go to the hospital."

"No. I can do this. Not as if I've never had my fingers in you before." Lando shrugs then looking around. "So how do we do this, should you stand or sit? I feel like I don't need to look at what I'm doing."

"You don't?" Y/n questions trying to restrain her amusement at his words.

"Yeah, but what's more comfortable standing or sitting?" Lando asks moving closer making y/n step back a little panic.

"It's a prank! It's a prank." Y/n exclaims stepping back while Lando deflates. "I'm sorry, it was just a prank for TikTok. I really thought you'd tell me to fuck off really."

"Give me some credit." Lando pouts earning a hum. "Are you even on your period?"

"Not right now, no." Y/n smiles then moving to hug him and catch him in a kiss. "You passed though, good job."

Charles

Charles having no sisters means that he really has spent most of his life unaware of periods and the issues that may come with them.

He's been slightly educated throughout his time having girlfriends. But he's still not exactly the man to go to if you want an explanation of what women go through.

"Charles..." Y/n mumbles walking into his sim room.

"Hey, baby. I won't be long, I'm just finishing up."

"Oh." Y/n nods actually feeling bad for interrupting him when he's almost done.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm just-I'll wait. It's ok."

"No. I'm done. I'm done. What's wrong?" Charles questions stopping the sim and turning to look at her.

"I have a problem and I need your help but I need you to just not freak out ok?" Y/n swallows thickly making him pull a face.

This man could not hide his feelings if he was forced to wear a mask to cover it.

"What is it?"

"My tampon is stuck and I need help to get it out." Y/n states making Charles pull an expression that she can't even stop herself laughing at it, it's like she's just asked him to murder a child.

"IT's stuck? How is it stuck?"

"The string snapped-Please, Charles I'm freaking out and I've been trying on my own and I can't do it." Y/n panics making him stand up.

He will almost certainly be traumatised, he knows that, but he'll be damned if he's going to let his girlfriend get upset and panic like she is.

"Ok. I will help...We should in the bathroom. It will get messy, yes?" Charles questions making her smile a little and nod.

He gets her into the bathroom before she finally caves into telling him it's a prank when he drops and moves away while she laughs a little.

"You're so cute. Honestly you were so ready." Y/n laughs shaking her head at him.

"I was so scared. I thought I might hurt you." Charles grimaces while she coos at him and moves to hug him lightly.

"So cute."

Oscar

Going as far to say that Oscar might actually do this just if she said she's too lazy to of it herself would not be an understatement. He's so unbothered and having sisters with such strong maternal figures in his mum and grandma. Anything of a womanly issue is something he's happy to help y/n handle.

So this was going to be an easy test for him to pass with flying colours.

"Oscar, can you help me?" Y/n asks making him look up from his phone.

"Help you with what?"

"My tampon string snapped and it's stuck-I've tried and I can't get it out." Y/n mumbles making him smile.

"Yeah, of course I can." Oscar nods standing up. "Is it hurting?"

"You're really just going to do it for me like that?"

"You need my help and I love you, so I'm going to help you." Oscar smiles then hugging her and lifting her up to carry her. "Do you want to lie down and I can do it?"

"No. No. It was just a prank. You're actually the most perfect guy ever." Y/n grins kissing him a couple times.

"I'd do it even if it wasn't stuck."

"I know you would. Because you actually are the best man ever. Love you."

"I love you too." Oscar smiles then sighing. "Well...if that's not happening. Since I have hold of you, what should we do now?"

Max

Y/n loves pranking Max, but this one was one he may not catch onto so quickly. But she also just has no idea as to how he'll react at all.

"Maxie..." Y/n whines rushing into the bedroom where he's getting ready. "Help. Help. Help. Please help."

"What? What? What's happening? Help with what?" Max questions looking behind her as if she's being chased. "Is it the cats?"

"No. My tampon is stuck. It's stuck inside me. I've been trying and it's stuck and I don't know what to do." Y/n panics actually feeling like she deserves an award for the level of acting going on here right now. But she has to really sell it for Max to believe it for more than a second.

"It's stuck?" Max frowns looking very much concerned. "How is it stuck?"

"Well I can't get it out, so to me that means it's stuck."

"Ok...do you need me to get it out?" Max asks not looking all that comfortable but like he's willing to do it if needs be.

"Would you give it a go?" Y/n asks making Max look at her for a beat.

"Yeah, of course. If you need my help, I'll help." Max nods then frowning. "I'll wash my hands first. Because I think that's important, right?"

"Yeah, ok." Y/n smiles trying to withhold some level of laughter.

Max disappears and y/n pouts a little at the fact he's being that conscious of precautions. The man is always thinking of how to do things the "right" way but she really wasn't expecting that from him.

"Alright, are you ok?" Max asks making her smile and nod at him before he kisses her. "You direct me. wWe should probably get you somewhere comfortable right? Should I get a towel for you so we don't make too much of a mess?"

"No. It's ok. this was all just a prank and maybe a bit of a test to see if you would do this." Y/n smiles making him sigh and groan at the fact she fooled him and he actually fell for it.

"I was really prepared to go rummaging." Max states making her jaw drop.

"Hey, there's not enough room to be rummaging anywhere, thank you very much." Y/n laughs then squealing when Max half tackles her onto the sofa and just lays his full weight on top of her. "Ah!"

"You're getting too good at acting. I'm never going to trust you when you ask for help again. I really believed you." Max frowns while she just laughs. "Did I pass?"

"Yes, and extra points for washing your hands because I didn't even think about asking you to do that first."