Decided To Share A Small Comic Of One Of My Favorite Little Parts From Rhythm Of War In Celebration Of

Stormlight Archive brain mush. SPOILER THOUGHTS.

Can we talk about Kaladin "I had nine carefree days after going off the deep end and trying very hard to kill myself before deciding to sacrifice myself to save all the spren with my fingers crossed that the Wind and insane as fuck Ishar had a plan for it to not result in my eternal torture" Stormblessed??? That boy is not right in the head. And not because he suffers from PTSD and depression, but bc he thinks nine days of sorta fun is enough for him to know anything about self care.

That poor sweet (not?) gloomy asshole.

yOu HaVe tO rEaD tHe cOsMeRe BoOkS iN tHe RiGhT oRdEr Or YoU wOn'T kNoW wHaT's GoiNg On!

Gancho, Doug, my brother in Adonalsium (Highly), I'm going to hold your hand when I say this:

Not knowing what's going on is the default state for Cosmere protagonists.

Even Wit, who's whole deal is standing over there in the corner smirking like he knows what's going on, doesn't have a single rusting clue.

Read the whole Stormlight Archive backwards for all I care, you'll still find yourself better informed than Kaladin Stormface

Wind and Truth theory fact. Gavinor did not grow to hate Dalinar for the atrocities he had committed, but rather as a natural consequence of having to watch your grand-uncle tell your dad that he's banging your grandmother 10000 times back-to-back.

They literally turned tensoon into a marketable plushie

Kaladin Stormface in the Way of Kings: Ain't no way this little wind spren is capable of human speech

Kaladin in Wind and Truth: So when I played the flute I got from the immortal trickster, I got to talk to The Wind™️ and she told me that the whole gaddamn pantheon of eternal saints needs therapy which I only invented less than a week ago. Hope the world doesn't end before I can get around to that.

Dalinar: "I can accept my son being gay. I can accept my son being a certified monsterfucker, but democracy is where I draw the line!!!"

maybe it’s good dalinar didn’t live to see his son turn Urithiru into a representative government

Jasnah to become pathetic wet cat just as the Wet Cat Boys Caillou and 7ft Sigmund Freud finally leave wetcatness behind them, nobly maintaining pathetic balance on roshar

ishar: behold the power of my Mega Depression!! you cannot possibly--

kaladin: yeah, yeah. the Mega Depression. we've all felt it. anyway, here's wandersail

*clenches fist* kaladin would want me to keep going

Cosmere Secret Santa

I did this last Christmas as well, but this one will be different, as I'm once again using a randomizer to choose characters. For the record, I didn't fix the results except to omit anyone who appeared in last year's list and to nix any repeats in this one. Let's see what gifts they choose!

Thanks to @imtheseventh for requesting that I do this again! :)

1. Marsh gives Spook...a book

Spook: Oh, thank you, but I think Kelsier already got me this book? Marsh: Look more closely. Spook: [holds up two books side by side] Spook: See? Kelsier got me Hemalurgy for Dummies and you got me...oh. Hemalurgy Not For Dummies. Marsh: [taps eye spike knowingly]

2. Spook gives Fort...a coupon

Fort: "Fifty percent off women's slippers"? Spook: I heard you like deals--that was the best one I found! Fort: [pats him on the shoulder] Every bargain hunter has to start somewhere...

3. Fort gives Allrianne...a bracelet

Allrianne: Wow! It's actually pretty nice--thank you! Fort: You're so welcome! Fort: After a lot of hard work, I got it basically for free! Allrianne: You...didn't spend any money on it? Fort: Practically none! You're welcome! Allrianne: ... Fort: What?

4. Allrianne gives Raboniel...a pink dressing gown

Allrianne: What I see when I look at you is a woman who needs to relax and feel beautiful. Raboniel: [carefully examining the robe] Raboniel: No safehand sleeve, I see. Raboniel: Are you trying to seduce me? Allriane: EXCUSE me?! Raboniel: Listen, I get that from human woman more than you'd think..

5. Raboniel gives Elegy...a book of Sudoku puzzles

Elegy: ...I don't understand. Raboniel: I can see that you're trying to fight off the insanity that threatens to consume you. Raboniel: I know...something about that. Raboniel: It is helpful to keep the mind focused, occupied. Elegy: ...with number puzzles? Raboniel: Well, it's either that or going into weapon manufacturing, but Navani gave me a dirty look when I tried to buy you a bomb kit.

6. Elegy gives Marasi...a book

Elegy: My people do not have much, but I collected a book of our native stories for you. Elegy: Since your people seem to want to know about us so badly. Marasi: ...I don't know what that last part means, but thank you! Marasi: Aww, it's a book of stores for kids? How cute! Marasi: ... Marasi: Do they ALL end with children being consumed by ghosts? Elegy: Shades. And yes. Marasi: Thanks anyway? Elegy: What do you mean "anyway"?

7. Marasi gives Vin...a nice pen

Marasi: I-I mean, what do you give the woman who has everything?? Marasi: You did EVERYTHING in your life and set the bar so amazingly high with all of your powerful exploits! Marasi: S-Seriously I couldn't even FATHOM what do get the Ascendent Warrior for Christmas! Marasi: A-Anyway, since you have that nice pen anyway, I-I thought maybe you could sign something for me... Vin: ... Vin: What exactly happens in the future?

8. Vin gives Syl...the design for a mistcloak

Vin: You're sort of wind, right? Vin: Back home, the mists loved to play with the tassels on my mistcloak. I thought wind might be similar. Syl: [has already changed her form so that she appears to be wearing a mistcloak] Syl: Why do I feel so unbelievably cool?? Vin: It has that effect.

9. Syl gives Nale...coal

Nale: ...Are you telling me that I should build a nice fire and relax? Syl (arms crossed, glaring at Nale): I'm telling you that trying to KILL children means you get COAL Nale: The child in question gave me a hug when she confronted me. Syl: Yeah, well, I'm an Honorspren, not an Edgedancer.

10. Nale gives Denth...jail

Denth: ... Denth: It is literally Christmas. Nale: The law cares not for holidays.

11. Denth gives Charlie...a cat plushie

Charlie: [eying the cat plushie nervously] Charlie: Y-You're a bit of a bastard, huh? Denth: I don't know what you're talking about.

12. Charlie gives Marsh...a really nice bottle of rum

Marsh: This looks...expensive. Charlie: W-Well, you know. Charlie: When you draw the literal personification of death out of a hat for Secret Santa, you, uh...don't blow it off. Marsh: ... Marsh: I'm actually quite pleased.