♥ ♤

jaxon sighed and picked at the cupcake in his hand. the small tray of chocolate treats was his mama’s way of being cheeky about his birthday. it was silly, feeling like he’d grown out of birthdays, but after 8 years of them in afghanistan— the novelty had definitely worn off. now all the happy birthday texts, facebook notifications, and voicemails just served as a reminder that he was 31 and only 2 years into his career. in any case, he definitely didn’t need this many fucking cupcakes. 

“ please, for the love of jesus, eat one of these cupcakes. or all of them. my mama made these jus’ to annoy me. ”

beautifulburnout:

“Pft, I can still run circles around you. I bet Tanis could too. Even with only 3 legs.” Jonny winked in response and there was no way he could suppress the smile on his lips. In moments like this he felt like he had his friend back. They were fleeting, because Jonny knew there was no way in hell things were okay between them, but it still felt good in those brief moments. He wondered if Jaxon felt the same way about all of this, or if he was just doing this for him. He wouldn’t put it past Jaxon to try and make him feel good. He was always putting other people first. “Jamie and Tanis have that in common then. He’s constantly excited,” he laughed and looked over at Jaxon just in time to see him stand back up. He didn’t want to think too much into things like that but Jonny was empathetic and Jaxon was one person who’s emotions he was always sensitive to. (Even if he did miss obvious things between them in youth). After a few pats to Tanis Jonny stood and shooed him off so he could play. “You okay?” The artist nodded at Jaxon’s knee, true concern written on his features even if that wasn’t what he thought was bothering him.

" yeah, that's probably true. bein' big doesn't really lend well t' bein' fast, " he chuckled lowly, the sound deep and rumbling in his chest. every now and then, there were these hints of the past. the ease and connection between them fighting to flicker back to steady life. it was a magnetism jaxon knew he couldn't deny. it went beyond even beyond his romantic feelings for jonny. they just... clicked. but the heartache made him shy away from whatever chemistry they still had. feeling hurt like that, again, after all this time... it wasn't an option. but he could enjoy the nostalgia a little longer, right?  " Jamie is... a lot. but he's still small and gettin' his strength up. so I can't let him play too hard for too long, " he explained, keeping an eye on the dogs and whistling when they started going too far. he smiled as tanis met up with them. Jamie was perfectly happy to incorporate tanis into their play, while ginger was a little more wary, following after him to sniff and check him out.  " huh? oh, yeah. just squatting for too long kinda hurts, " he shrugged, tucking his hands into the pockets of his jacket and pulling it a little tighter.

SEND A SYMBOL FOR A CORRESPONDING PROMPT/STARTER.

[ ☎ ] my muse calls yours in tears.

[ ✪ ] our muses are stuck in an elevator together.

[ ◐ ] my muse is having a sleepover with your muse.

[ ✿ ] my muse attempts to cook dinner for your muse.

[ ◈ ] my muse makes a drunk confession to your muse.

[ ღ ] my muse makes an attempt to cheer your muse up.

[ ✦ ] my muse pushes yours out of frustration/anger.

[ ❢ ] my muse discovers yours all bloodied and bruised.

[ ➤ ] my muse accidentally punches your muse in the face.

[ ⌚ ] my muse recalls their favorite memory with your muse.

[ ✜ ] my muse collapses in front of yours, all bloodied and bruised.

[ ☯ ] my muse tells yours that they never want to see them again.

[ ✈ ] my muse asks yours to accompany them on a trip/mission/etc.

[ ● ] my muse catches yours snooping through their belongings.

[ ☻ ] my muse wakes up in your muse’s closet the night after a party.

[ ✌ ] my muse reaches out to yours after months of no communication.

[ ☢ ] the car broke down in an unfamiliar part of town, and our muses are lost.

[ ✠ ] it’s three in the morning and my muse unexpectedly arrives at your muse’s home.

[ ☁ ] the entire city is without power due to a storm, and our muses run into each other during a supply run.

That back tho

@tatemcallisterr

shvdykiid:

“Hm…” he sighs like he’s giving it some real thought. “You know– I wouldn’t mind being both. I would like to still be around to do your autopsy,” he says with a genuine tone. If only the boy knew how strange it was to say such a thing. He forgets other’s aren’t as twisted on the inside. While he wants to do his best skill as a favor, he doesn’t understand just how creepy it really is. “I’ll make sure no one stuffs you and your casket with money and/or drugs.” He speaks with a teasing tone, but his eyes say there is truth to his promise.

Despite the talk of death in their conversation, Ollie gave a shrug when it came to the cupcake. “I don’t normally like sweet foods. Yet, I can see myself buying these cupcakes from a bakery. It’s the highest compliments to your mother. You’re being a brat and nothing is wrong with your age,” he speaks with a smirk.

jaxon laughed warmly and shook his head, no doubt amused by oliver’s dark sense of humor. in a weird, fucked up way, it was familiar. after all, nothing like gallows humor to alleviate the drudgery of war. it must’ve been why jaxon felt so comfortable around the odd boy.  “ sounds like a nice way t’ go out. just promise you’ll keep me heavily drugged, ” jax replied, leaning back in his chair and smearing the icing beneath his finger.  “ awe, thanks. that’s sweet. no cupcakes either, yeah? homemade or bakery. ”  jax had come to terms with death and dying years ago. maybe it should phase him, and yet.  “ yeah, i’ not huge on sweets either. which she knows. but if you knew my mama, you’d know she’s teasin’ me with this. but i’ll let her know you like ‘em. against all odds. and yer right, i know i’m being dumb. i dunno. do you like yer birthday? ”

beautifulburnout:

“The perks of not being a giant.” While the puppies played Jonny was tempted to just flop down in the grass and enjoy the conversation. But he had a feeling that Jaxon wouldn’t stick around long enough for that. It seemed like he was unwilling to get past the tension between them. Or was it that he didn’t want to? He supposed this was the complication of not talking for 10 years. At this point they had spent more time apart than together. Things couldn’t be the same again. The realization of that made Jonny ache. He knew Jaxon could read him like a book so Jonny turned, using the dogs as an excuse to not clue him in on how he was feeling. “Yeah well, Tanis falls on his face half the time he plays so they’ll have to take it slow eventually,” he chuckled and as if to prove his point his pup took a face dive but he was back on his feet in no time. Jonny rocked on his heels and glanced back when Jaxon responded about his knee. “Do more yoga and it’ll feel better,” he advised even though he knew there was something going through his mind beyond that. Jonny chewed the inside of his lip but he couldn’t keep silent on this forever. It just wasn’t his style. “So besides the knee what’s going on? If you really want to be alone I can take off,” he offered gently. He wouldn’t force his company on Jax and he was starting to feel like that was exactly what he was doing.

" he seems like a sweet dog. i bet he adores you, " jax offered, a little stiffly. and he hated it. this weird limbo wasn't ideal. and jaxon knew they'd have to talk about it, explicitly, eventually. because they'd either move past it and become friends again, or it would stall in this tension, neither of them making a step forward or step back. Maybe he should just make the decision to step away from whatever this was or was going to be. but that decision was too hard to make, especially after the realization that even ten years wasn't quite enough to quell the way he felt about jonny, or the connection between them. but could those two things coexist? could he survive that again? that was the unclear part of it.  " what? no. i mean... " he paused and furrowed his brow at jonny's offer. his tone was gentle, but he was blunt in a way that hadn't yet been with each other.  " i gotta get th' pups home soon. we've been out here a while... and, uh. well, i gotta make sure jamie doesn't get too worn out, and ginger doesn't get too worked up. " he shrugged and watched the dogs for a second, before glancing over at jonny.  " listen, uh... with you gettin' mugged and everything. we haven't really had a chance to hang out or, anything... i'm probably not going to bed any time soon, and i got this... awful bottle of peach vodka as a joke. the dogs can play in the backyard... if you wanna come over for a bit...? " he rubbed the back of his neck as he finally managed to get a clear question out. not that it should have been so difficult.

You had your maps drawn You had other plans To hang your hopes on Every road they let you down felt so wrong So you found another way

You've got a big heart The way you see the world It got you this far You might have some bruises And a few of scars But you know you're gonna be okay

And even though you're scared You're stronger than you know

If you're lost out where the lights are blinding Caught in all, the stars are hiding That's when something wild calls you home, home If you face the fear that keeps you frozen Chase the sky into the ocean That's when something wild calls you home, home

Jax,  Happy birthday! I found this when I was digging through some of my old stuff. This was the last trip we took to the lake back in New York. I thought it was nostalgic and sweet so I wanted you to have it. Look how young we were!  Anyway, happy 31st. I know you were never big on birthdays but I hope you enjoy it. Let me take you out for a drink soon.  Have a great day (don’t be too grouchy). -Jay

[ sms → jonny ] thank you for the picture. and the birthday wishes. that’s very sweet of you. 

[ sms → jonny ] i’ll try not to be too much of a grump. 

✉ OBVIOUSLY

Jaxon, It’s been a long time since I wrote a real letter and it’s funny when I actually sit down to do this I know that I’m not going to send it. I think this is more for me to figure my own shit out but it helps thinking of it like I’m talking to you. Talking to you always helped. Kinda sucks that I can’t do that now.It was crazy running into you after all these years. Not as crazy as it was for you, though. Honestly when you saw me I thought you might throw up. And you really wonder why I’d think you hate me? Yeah it wasn’t just all the shit that happened, Jax. It’s the shit that’s going on now too. 10 years and somehow it feels like shit has gotten more complicated. Isn’t stepping away from the situation supposed to make it easier? I dunno. Doesn’t seem like time did us any favors, huh?I wish that I could talk to you. I don’t mean just like, text you. I mean really talk to you. Remember when we were kids and we’d tell each other everything? Seems a lot harder now. I wonder if that’s because we got older or if it’s because of what happened. I know you don’t totally blame me for that. I get it. We both made mistakes but fuck, Jax. It still feels like I’m trying to figure out what really went wrong. I know that I had my head up my ass back then but I’m still lost. And my best friend isn’t helping either. Asking me if I wanted to suck your dick only made things soooo much more complicated in my head. Mostly because I know that I was lying to myself when I said no. Do you remember that time we made out? We were really drunk. We never talked about it but…I thought about it. More than once. I figured you thought it was a mistake and I didn’t want you to have to deal with that. Or I didn’t want to have to deal with losing you if things got complicated. Well, shit couldn’t get more complicated could it?And this letter isn’t clearing anything up for me. Not besides knowing that I do want you. And now I have to wonder exactly what makes shit so awkward between us now. Is it our past….or is it the question of what lies ahead? Ha god. I feel like I’m in high school all over again. We really…really just gotta talk. I just hope you don’t hate me after we do. -Jay