He Wanted His Arm Back. He Wanted To Be A Spear Man. He Was Okay With Other Work And Always Happy To

You know what guys I don't make the rules but just personally I feel like every good group MUST have the following:

A technically skilled science/tech dweeb everyone underestimates who would actually do very well in prison; secret freak. LGBTQ rep. Hyperfixates. Voted #1 most likely to violate the Geneva conventions. Voted #1 most likely to still consider their childhood rival their sworn enemy well into adulthood.

Highly neurotic yet low-key super competent weirdo who wears cargo pants and just wants everything to be normal for five goddammit minutes but is still somehow in the front row when the shit hits the fan. Will hold your beer and watch you eat concrete trying to perform an impromptu backflip at a house party. Will drive you to the hospital afterwards. Probably won't yell at you if you puke in their car.

High-society classy ho who obviously outshines everyone else in fancy social settings. Dresses well, speaks well, holds themselves well, fits right in with the snooty upper class bastards. Their deep dark secret? The heart and soul of a dirty peasant. Nobody can know that oysters and caviar make them wanna hurl. Secret pleasures include doritos, ugly pajamas, and bad daytime TV. Their parents suck.

Conventionally attractive and charismatic "leader" figure who outwardly appears calm, cool, and collected until the pressure is off and the anxiety disorder comes out. Has an organized sock drawer. Does meal prep once a week. Goes to the gym regularly. Seems like they have all their shit together until you get a phone call at 4 in the afternoon because their hand is glued to a barstool and they can't explain how it happened

Awkward and uncharasmatic "leader" figure who has more street smarts than book smarts and doesn't seem to take anything seriously until all the cards are down. Edgy backstory. Is visibly disappointed when they find out you don't know an important life skill. Somehow the most competent person of the group when left to their own devices. But can they learn to trust... the power of friendship?

An inanimate thing which is so beloved that it might as well have a personality at this point. Bonus points if it's obviously kinda dumpy and busted.

Oh the conflict between wanting to tell you everything I want to say and wanting to sit with you in silence forever. Watching clouds.

HAHAHA

Sun Tzu is so fucking funny to me because for his time he was legitimately a brilliant tactician but a bunch of his insight is shit like "if you think you might lose, avoid doing that", "being outnumbered is bad generally", and "consider lying."

Yaaas

I'm on Words of Radiance right now and I gotta say,

I just love Kaladin, like he has a mysterious past that he isn't interested in talking about, and he has like no respect for anyone who hasn't personally earned it, and clearly wants to be left alone forever. But he sucks at getting people to ignore him.

Like first of all, he looks everyone in the eyes, even people so far above his station. He has an impeccable posture and presence at all times, even without considering the whole stormlight thing which apparently can make you look prettier/more saturated in the world. He has slave scars marking him as dangerous and just pretends that he's basically of a station to light-eyes. And he barely even remembers to call the King 'your majesty', it's an afterthought at best and if the King believed that he actually had authority Kaladin would probably be dead. (Of course if the King was a stronger personality than maybe Kaladin would have shown him respect).

He wants to be left alone to die but has such strong sense of honor and empathy that he ends up caring about anyone that ends up in his vicinity for more than 5 min if they need help in anyway. He adopts Renarin grudgingly likes/respects Adolin even when Adolin drives him absolutely insane. He does his absolute best at any job he is given no matter how hard it makes his life or how many toes he steps on.

And he cannot hide his skills to save his life. So far, about half way through the book he's not terrible at hiding the stormlight, except that he is and the people around him just have more to worry about (like dying) when he has to use it.

He's a very very good surgeon even though he didn't actually have the chance to formally study, and when literally anyone calls him on it, he's just like 'I learned field medicine' - sir, you think field medicine is a good excuse for knowing more about epilepsy than the light-eyed noble that HAS the epilepsy??? Really?? Like are you even trying anymore? You're using words that no one else has ever heard of and you are teaching everyone around you field medicine.

He will literally never be able to blend in ever in his life.

I love him.

Yet I will keep trying

when will they learn that it never works

No.

I have to stop treating myself like a never-ending self improvement project and start treating myself like a healing, learning, and growing human with feelings.

Yes, self improvement is okay. You should always want better for yourself. But, there is no reason to always feel like something is wrong and always needs fixing. At some point, you must learn to give yourself some form of grace and acceptance.

XOXO,

Reina

I'll drink to that. (drinks water)

I'm going to bed.

I don't want to be awake anymore.

I rather NOT think of her and miss her.

So bed it is.

Mood.

*places my head in your lap* hey can you hold this for me? thanks *walks away, leaving my head in your lap*

Another game I inevitably play when we talk is called.

"Don't accidentally confess, while being her warmth".

She comes before the world. No sacrifice is too big. Morality Is a privilege for those who love in finite measurement like weighing calories in a meal, careful not to go over maintenance.

Something we do not concern ourselves with. If bringing you back means the world gotta burn then I will have us rest comfortably on bed or Cinders under a roof of stars.

I died but I came back exactly the same. You though, I came back and you were wrong. Did the fact of my dying really damage you that much? Was bringing me back worth what it cost you? Would it have been better to just leave me?