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Deh - Blog Posts
They robbed us with the 0 Connor time
as a socially awkward guy and a liar I unfortunately kinda relate to evan hansen....
Dear Evan Hansen: What if Evan Didn't Lie?
So I couldn't stop thinking about how Dear Evan Hansen would have gone if Evan had told the truth from the get-go. Would the story be that different? I would say no.
So I decided to write a fake wikipedia summary for my in-progress fanfic of "Dear Evan Hansen - Rewritten."
Original sources are:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dear_Evan_Hansen
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dear_Evan_Hansen_(film)
I did some DEH sketches during online classes.
Hope you like them!
Just did a DEH sketch. Didn't know that drawing some sleepy boys could be this fun or turn out this well.
I got around to coloring the Connor Murphy sketch I did the other day, and I gave him an Evan too!
I unironically love this sketch. I got a sudden urge to draw some Dear Evan Hansen stuff, and I didn't expect to love this Connor sketch so much. I'm actually really proud of my sketch.
No-one Deserves To Be Forgotten
Can we talk for a second about how Hamlet is only sympathetic if he’s like, 19? That’s not to say you can’t make a good Hamlet with a 32 year old actor, but the main character Will Not be sympathetic if you do that. Which is fine, you can make an interesting movie with that, just don’t expect people to like Hamlet in it.
Work of Art
Request: hey there :0 recently found yr blog and i just wanna say yr writing is really good! i saw yr requests were “openish” so if this is an inconvenience then that’s ok and you don’t have to write anything :) but connor murphy w a male reader who likes to draw? and he draws them together in his free time? maybe babies connor a lot in private too? (^^*)if you decide to do this, ty! if not, that’s ok too! keep up the good work ♡🦑 Word Count: 498 Words Warnings: Connor being insecure Author’s Note: heyy...how yall doin... so sorry to the anon that requested this it took me a year and then some to finally write it and it’s bad... anyways... have a good day/night :) <3
You were sitting in the art room one day during study hall as usual when all of a sudden someone else came into the room
You were startled because usually, it’s just you and the art teacher this period.
A boy, probably another student judging by the style of his clothes, came in, nodded his head at your teacher as a greeting, signed in, and sat at a table on the other side of the room
He took out a sketchbook that looked very well loved with stickers all over the front and back covers
He could feel your eyes on him and looked over
You quickly put your head down and felt the tips of your ears grow warm in embarrassment
After that, the two of you drew in your respective sketchbooks silently
The period passed and you didn’t leave the room as you had actual art class next period but neither did the mystery boy
Once the rest of your classmates were settled into their seats, except for the mystery boy, Ms.Anne stood up in front of the class, “Hello Everyone! I hope you’ve all had a good day so far. As you can see we have a new student with us. This is Connor Murphy, he just started here so please help him feel welcome. Connor, you can sit at the table back there with Y/N.”
You felt your eyes grow wide, no one has sat next to you for the whole year why did that have to change now?
He searched for a minute before his eyes found yours
He came and sat down next to you and you decided to introduce yourself to make him feel welcome or whatever Ms.Anne said.
Surprisingly he responded and you two talked through the rest of the period and the rest is history.
He quickly became your favorite thing to draw
At first, you kept the drawings hidden in fear of him being creeped out but as you grew closer you eventually showed him the drawings
He cried when he saw them because he never imagined someone seeing him in a positive way like you did
Soon after you showed him the drawings the two of you started dating
You loved that you were now able to give him all the affection he deserved (never in public though because he had a reputation to uphold)
And now you could make him pose for all the drawings you want
He drew you on occasion but was insecure about his art even though you constantly assured him it was incredible
For your one-year anniversary, you drew Connor’s favorite picture of the two of you
Once he opened it and saw what it was he practically jumped at you to kiss you and give you the biggest hug
You two stayed like that for a while
For all your anniversaries after that you drew his favorite picture of the two of you from the last year <3
My Whole World- Connor Murphy X Reader
Request: I am in desperate need of a fic where Connor finds that the reader struggles with self harm and where he helps them though such thoughts and just ends with some fluffy cuddles. Anything is better than what’s going on rn - Anon
Word Count: 1009
Warnings: Implied Self harm (cutting), Self-loathing, Self-hatred, Feeling like a burden
Authors Note: Hello! I know I’m literally the worst ever but honestly existing this past year has been really hard which makes doing the things I enjoy, like writing, really hard to do. BUT I do finally think I’m reaching a better place, (I know I say this like every authors note but I really think I am this time). Also saw the DEH movie last night and ended up sobbing over Connor I love him so much :((. Lastly and most importantly: if you ever feel like self harming there are alternatives! If you need resources about this feel free to message me or send me an ask! I’m more than happy to help <3 Thats it. As all ways thank you for reading and have a lovely day/night! :) <3
You were having an awful day, an awful week even. It seemed everything that could go wrong did. It just seemed the world was against you and you were tired of it. You were approaching your breaking point and fast. You could see this but you didn’t know what to do about it. You could reach out to your boyfriend Connor. But no he was doing so well recently and you didn’t want to burden him or bring him down with your negative thoughts. So you decided to do what you always did which was just distract yourself from your emotions because if you didn’t think about them they weren’t there. You put your earbuds in and put on one of the playlists Connor had made for you, once you got home and went up to your room without saying a word to anyone and plopped face down into your bed. For a couple minutes you were able to ignore all the thoughts racing through your mind but eventually the music stopped working and you were left alone with your thoughts.
You’re pathetic and a burden to everyone. Why would anyone want to deal with you, especially Connor? You’re probably the most annoying person on the planet right? With your constant pestering and need for reassurance every two seconds it’s truly a wonder that you haven’t been abandoned by everyone in your life.
You were angry at yourself. How could you possibly let yourself be this awful of a person? You wanted to do something horrible to yourself as a punishment, to force yourself to feel the pain you bring to everyone in your life.
The next time you had a coherent thought was at least a half hour later. You felt a stinging sensation coming from your wrists and started crying as you fully processed what you had done. Without realizing it you texted Connor asking him to come over. You just sat waiting staring at nothing until Connor knocked on the door to your room. You were broken out of your trance and weakly said “It’s open” so he knew he could come in.
Once Connor opened the door he knew something was up. The energy in the room just felt wrong. Then he saw your hunched figure on the bed and could tell something was up just by how you were sitting and approached the bed slowly so as to not startle you. Once he came into your field of vision you broke down even more feeling so pathetic in this moment. “Oh sweetheart,” he says softly. He sat down in front of you and took one of your arma in his hand and inspected the damage gently. He did the same with the other and once he was done he opened his arms and you crashed into his chest, violently crying at this point. He held you tight and pressed soft kisses into your head. He just let you cry it out rubbing soft circles into your back but while he was he couldn’t help but think how could the light of his life ever feel so bad that you felt you had to do this to yourself?
Once your cries had calmed down to soft sniffles every once in a while he said “Let’s get you cleaned up then we can cuddle. Sound good?” You nodded tiredly. “Okay let’s go to the bathroom,” he said, grabbing your hands to pull you up and guide you to the bathroom. Once you got there you sat on the counter and Connor got to work. He carefully applied antibiotic ointment and bandages to the affected areas and when he was done pressed gentle kisses to all of the bandages. After that he cleaned up his ‘workspace’ and led you back to your bedroom. The two got ready and had settled into your bed when he broke the comfortable silence that had settled between you two. “You know we have to talk about this right?” You nodded timidly. “Why?” he said simply. You explained how terrible this week had been for you and how it all got to be too much. The whole time Connor listened with his undivided attention on you, holding your hand and rubbing soothing circles with his thumb. At some point while you were explaining you had started crying, He sat up causing you to sit up as well. He grabbed your face, wiped your tears and stared deeply into your eyes. It felt like he was staring into your soul but you didn’t look away. After what feels like an eternity he finally spoke up and said “I don’t know how you could think all those awful things about yourself. You’re the most wonderful person I’ve ever met. Your kind, smart, compassionate, not to mention most beautiful person I’ve ever met. You’re not a burden to those around you, especially not me ever. Next time you feel like this, I want you to talk to me okay? I’m here to help you. I know you would do the same for me in a heartbeat so let me help you. I love you so much and I don’t want to lose you, you’re my whole world.” You were crying again but for the first time today they were happy tears.
“Thank you for always reminding me how loved I am. I love you so much Con,” you said smiling through the tears.
“I love you more Y/N/N,” he said, smiling sweetly at you. He gave you a tender kiss on the forehead and then said “You’ve had a long day we should get some sleep.”
“Yeah you’re right,” you said through a yawn. The two of you got cozy again, your head on Connor’s chest, his hands running through your hair. The sound of his heartbeat, the one he swore beat for only you, lulled you to sleep. The last thing you heard before you felt before you fell fully unconscious was a kiss being pressed to the top of your head.
No one deserves to dissapear 🖤