Patrick Zweig - Blog Posts

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LIGHTS OUT ( CAMPCOUNSELOR!AU ), you’ve been sneaking around with patrick all summer—making out behind cabins, stealing kisses in supply closets, falling harder than either of you meant to. tonight, he leaves you a note and a coke, and you meet him down by the lake like always, except something about this night feels heavier, sweeter, slower. no more pretending it’s just a fling—it’s starting to feel like something real.

Patrick Zweig bot pls!!!

omg anon how did u know i already have one in the works am i being spied on 😟😟!!!!!

TRASHY 2000’S PATRICK ZWEIG HEADCANONS

pairing: trashy2000’s!patrick zweig x reader (f!implied)

warning: sexual content, oral fixation + implied oral sex, dry humping, marking, casual substance use, questionable hygiene habits. MDNI

⟡ his room smells like a violent cocktail of weed, cheap deodorant, sweat, and whatever microwaved shit he ate at 2am. probably totino’s pizza rolls, or a burnt grilled cheese sandwich. there’s a stale open mountain dew on the nightstand. it’s been there for days.

⟡ will 100% play video games with your legs across his lap, absentmindedly tracing circles on your calf while yelling at the screen. “you’re a fucking idiot. no, no, not you. the character. unless you’re into it.”

⟡ bites. like, actual biting. shoulder, neck, inner thigh. leaves marks and smirks about it the next day. “oops.”

⟡ you wake up to find him staring at you sometimes. not creepy. just soft. blinking real slow, like he doesn’t believe you’re real. “you’re pretty,” he mumbles, voice thick with sleep. “like…like real-life pretty. not just ‘i like you’ pretty.”

⟡ he kisses like he means it—messy, desperate, always with a little tongue and too much breath. like he thinks he’ll never get to do it again.

⟡ every now and then, he says something stupidly sincere like “y’know, you’re the only thing in my life that doesn’t suck” and then immediately throws a cheeto at your face to ruin the moment.

⟡ plays old bootleg burned CDs of limp bizkit, breaking benjamin, and early muse. he still calls mp3 players “those tiny ipod things.” he doesn’t trust streaming services. says they’re “too clean.”

⟡ he has zero boundaries when he’s in love. sticks his cold feet under your thighs. eats off your plate without asking. chews your gum after you spit it out. “it’s romantic,” he insists, already popping it between his teeth.

⟡ can fix anything with duct tape and a bent butter knife. you don’t ask how he knows this. he once got a broken dvd player to work using a safety pin and a guitar pick.

⟡ lives on energy drinks and bagel bites. once you watched him eat cold pizza at 7am and wash it down with monster and he just shrugged like it was fine.

⟡ has a soft spot for you but tries to hide it behind constant teasing. “you’re wearing that?” followed by “nah, you look hot. don’t let it go to your head.”

⟡ he’s loud during sex. whiny, growling, panting. curses a lot. grunts “fuckfuckfuckfuck” when you ride him. moans into your neck like he’s scared of being alone. sometimes you don’t even fuck—he just wants to grind up under you, your weight pressing him into the mattress like gravity is a comfort.

⟡ doesn’t sleep much. not cause he’s an insomniac, just cause he always forgets. plays tony hawk pro skater 3 till sunrise, then crawls into bed with his arms around your waist, muttering “i’ll sleep better if you stay.”

⟡ has the worst oral fixation you’ve ever seen. he chews pen caps until they’re mangled, always has a sucker in his mouth (blue raspberry to match his tongue), and if you’re laying in his lap while he’s watching tv, he’ll slowly guide your fingers into his mouth and suck on them like it’s nothing. like it’s just another habit. if you shift your hips even a little while you’re grinding on him, he groans into your palm, eyes half-lidded, and lets your index finger drag across his tongue like he’s starving for it.

⟡ he’s the type of guy who watches donnie darko on loop and pretends it’s for the cinematography. absolutely convinced he gets it on a level no one else does. “this movie’s about me,” he says, half-joking. “you’re not allowed to date anyone who doesn’t like it.” he 100% had a frank the rabbit poster on his wall for years.

⟡ his idea of a date is going to a laundromat at 1am, splitting a slushie from 7/11, and making out in the detergent aisle. you’re sitting in the spinning dryer drum and he’s got his head between your legs. “just five minutes,” he says. you stay there until the sun rises.

⟡ won’t admit it but he loves it when you brush his hair. especially when he’s lying with his head in your lap. makes this quiet humming sound, eyelids fluttering like a sleepy cat. if you stop, he whines. literally whines.

⟡ he picks up little things for you constantly. a soda you like. a broken charm off a keychain. a gas station sticker. gives them to you like treasure. like, “this is trash, but it made me think of you.” you keep them all in a drawer.

⟡ never remembers to charge his phone. it’s always at 3%, held together by tape, and missing the back panel. but he keeps a photo of you as his background. not one where you look nice. one where you’re eating chips in bed with crumbs all over your shirt. he says it’s his favorite.

no i will not be taking questions at this time ❤️

Happy Valentine's Day or whatever... These TOXIC GUYS))0), thanks to my little sister for showing me this stressful movie, the kissing scene and the epic game at the end with the music I can't get out of my head...

Art Donaldson puts the “man” in “manipulation”.

he’s suchhhhh a loser i need him so bad

Josh O'Connor as Patrick Zweig in Luca Guadagnino's Challengers

losing all my innocence in the backseat 🪽