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mmuscles​:

thad had a couple of harmless run ins with adam, he was pretty easy to mess around with, make tick. but the unfortunate side to that was as thad learned how to push adam’s buttons, adam learned how to push his. “you’re being such a girl, richards.” he taunted adam with a sly smirk. his anger was admittedly not the most welcome sight, but from what he’d seen, this dude couldn’t hurt a fly, so thad would keep it up. at emerson, thad didn’t have to try so hard to maintain power. he’d established that with his flashy car and fancy last name on the first day of freshman year, but in hawkins, nobody seemed to have respect for that sort of things, especially not adam. that’s what thad convinced himself this all came down to, power, not cole or anything like that. never. 

still looking smug, he continued, “he’s like, definition of a pretty boy, dude. look in the dictionary? there’s his picture.” he shrugged, leaning his back against the glass of the vending machine and folding his arms across his chest. he’d gone through enough emotional turmoil with nancy laying in a bed just a few rooms up the hall, he was due for some stress relief. adam, unfortunately, had walked up first. “would you prefer to be the pretty boy richards?” thad asked, unrelenting, “because you definitely fit the bill, pretty boy.”

Adam was so fucking sick of Thad Bradshaw. Every run in that they had had, Thad had been such a dick to him. Had Adam been rude back? Sometimes, sure. But Thad had started it. All the way back to the fucking grocery store, Thad had treated Adam like he was better than him. Like being from somewhere besides Hawkins, coming from money, going to a fancy college, all meant that he was worth more than Adam. It was so stupid.

After their beer pong showdown at the Wheeler’s barbeque, Adam had thought that Thad much actually leave him alone for awhile. Clearly, though, Thad wasn’t over whatever weird beef he had with Adam. And honestly? Adam wasn’t really over it all either. He just wanted Thad to fucking leave him alone already, especially right now while Cole was in the hospital and Adam was partially at fault. It was a sensitive subject, and Thad calling Cole that nickname wasn’t helping. Adam wasn’t upset that they’d hooked up while he was dead, but he was furious that Thad just wasn’t letting it go. “I’m being a girl?” Adam repeated, scoffing at Thad’s insult. It landed, as much as Adam hated to admit it. He’d heard that so many times on the football field - when he got hurt, when he hurt someone else, when he was bummed about a pass not landing. And every time, it embarrassed him. It made him angry. It made him feel like he was being dramatic, like his feelings weren’t valid. And coming from Thad, it made him feel white hot rage.

“Stop calling him that! Just because you two kissed doesn’t mean you can keep saying shit like that!” Adam snapped, trying to keep his voice down. He would never understand what Cole had seen in someone like Thad. Steve and Eddie made sense, but Bradshaw? He was such an asshole. “Shut up,” Adam repeated, momentarily confused by Thad’s insult. No one had ever called him a pretty boy before. What the fuck was Thad playing at? “You’re such a fucking asshole, Thad. No wonder no one even fucking wants you around! Just go back to whatever lame ass school you go to, and leave me alone.” 

scribblcs​:

from the moment a client walked in the room, gabe was on, eyes fixed, watching, and scribbling on his notepad without tearing his gentle gaze away from whoever he was seeing. today? it was adam richards, star football player, golden boy, and recently returned from a forest commune he disappeared into three years ago. he looked antsy, which was expected from small town folk like these. where adam smiled tightly, gabe grinned back warm and open. “good afternoon.” he met him, “i’m dr.gabe, as i’m sure you were told.” he dropped his pen and folded his hands over the notepad. he chuckled softly, “do you want to lay down?” he asked adam, looking around his office. “help yourself to any spot or trinkets around here, you’re welcome to smoke if that’s your sort of thing, i have waters in the other room. don’t hesitate to let me know if you need anything, okay?”

he had spent two days sprucing up the place to make it look comfortable, more like a home than an office. there were bean bags and pillows on the floor, a chair, and a large cushioned couch. scattered around the room were plants, quirky incense holders, bookshelves, and a motown record played softly from somewhere in the corner. the floor was covered up with a couple of rugs layered over one another and the blinds were low so to keep the lights from the scattered lamps soft and inviting. gabe took adam’s hand and made a mental note of just how the kid greeted him, “nice to meet you.” he smiled again, then waited for the other to sit down. when he finally looked comfortable, gabe started, “so, adam, how was your day? what did you get up to?” he’d start it off easy, like always.

Mandated therapy to help those who’d been in the ‘forest commune’ adjust felt like a good idea in theory, but bad in practice. After all, who liked being forced to talk about their feelings? Not Adam, at least not with strangers. There was just so much that he knew by now he was supposed to keep to himself. His sexuality, for one thing. But beyond just that, Adam knew that men weren’t supposed to talk about their feelings. He had struggled with that a lot growing up considering how much he wore his heart on his sleeve, but sports had reinforced the idea a lot. Talking about emotions was reserved for Cole, Chrissy or Beth, not a stranger in a doctor’s office in downtown Hawkins. 

“Dr. Gabe?” He repeated, mentally making a note that that must be his first name. Got it. “Oh, um... I guess not?” Adam shrugged. The list of things Gabe was fine with him doing was a little overwhelming at first, but Adam appreciated it. Smoking appealed to him briefly, but he didn’t have any with him. And besides, being an athlete, it wasn’t a good habit anyway. “I think I’m okay. Thank you.” 

The room felt very comfortable, which did ease some of Adam’s concerns. It wasn’t sterile and white like the doctor’s offices he was used to, and there were plants everywhere. His eyes lingered on one near him for a minute - it wasn’t something he was familiar with, but then again, he’d never been a gardener. His mom took care of the flowers at their house. After shaking Gabe’s hand, Adam awkwardly sat down on the couch. He stuck close to the edge, ready to stand back up and make his way back to the door if things got overwhelming. “Um, my day was okay,” He started, glancing at Gabe briefly. “I ran some errands with my mom and took my little sister Cindy to the mall for a bit. Then I came here.” Adam didn’t mind helping his parents out. They were busy, and he liked spending time with Cindy. It meant getting up early, though, and Adam was still tired from spending several days sleeping at the hospital. “How was your day? Am I allowed to ask that?” Adam asked after a second, not wanting to overstep a boundary if it wasn’t okay to ask about Gabe’s life too. 

zccming​:

adam richards. it was a name she’d been hearing for years from cole. max was no therapist, but when it came to grief, her and cole had gotten pretty good at sitting down, dumping all of their feelings together, then doing absolutely nothing about them. cole, adam, robin, all of them were older than her, but with adam specifically, max hadn’t known of him while he was in school and other than a few pictures and glances from a distance this past summer, didn’t really even know what adam looked like. that was until she clocked him curled up in cole’s hospital bed. this was adam, without a doubt in her mind. 

she had been weaving in and out of rooms for so long she felt like her legs might collapse from underneath her and she just needed to sit. not wanting to overstay her welcome in any of the other rooms, she chose cole’s to rest for a minute. she hadn’t been expecting him – or adam to wake up. she jumped a bit when adam did, watching him like a frightened animal. it wasn’t his fault, more the impact of all the unexpected events that had transpired in the past twelve hours. for a while, she said nothing, and neither did he. when adam finally spoke, max noted how kind his voice sounded. in a way, that quality reminded her of lucas. she shrugged off the question, “it’s cool.” don’t apologize. when adam grasped at answers, max sighed. there was no hiding the truth from him, he already knew at least to some extent. “i’ve only seen something like this once before.” she admitted, rubbing her tired eyes. so much for rest. “but the thing that did it is gone.” with surprising conviction, max assured him, “but from what i can gather, that wasn’t you acting at the carnival. we just…need to find the weakspot of this new guy and take him down.” 

she made it sound so easy, even though she knew well how difficult the journey ahead could get.

Adam hadn’t known Max before. She’d been a kid then, someone he had maybe seen at the pool a few times or heard about from Billy. Coming back and finding out she’d became Cole’s best friend had been unexpected, but he knew from how often Cole spoke about her that she meant a lot to him. Adam was grateful for her supporting him during his grief these last few years. 

He moved closer to Cole’s bed, unwilling to be far from him after everything that he’d been through since the carnival. He kept space between him and Max, not wanting to freak Max out, in case she had seen what he’d done while he was blacked out. Sitting down in the chair closest to Cole, Adam reached subconsciously for his hand, lacing their fingers together while Cole continued to sleep. “If it’s gone... how are we still doing this?” Adam asked her, frowning at the information. There was just so much he didn’t know, so much he couldn’t even begin to process. And it fucking sucked. “Have you done that before?” Adam asked curiously, worried that they wouldn’t figure this all out. He knew he certainly didn’t know enough to solve shit. 

“Apparently, I did stuff like that before,” He admitted, despite not knowing Max at all. He trusted her with this, though, considering how much she already knew. “And...well, if it happens again,” Adam felt guilty asking this. She could say no - he wouldn’t blame her. She didn’t owe him anything. “If it happens again, can you just... make sure Cole isn’t near me? I can’t hurt him.” Not again. Adam wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if he did. 

jofcreman​:

what happened? the way he opened the door, so non-chalantly, the way his brows drew together in worry, surely feigned concern for her brother, made jo’s blood boil. she flexed her hands, stopping herself short of letting her palm meet his cheek. no, the neighbourhood thought she was insane enough as is. truly, it was only her position at the post that spared her from their neighbour’s open ridicule. because a girl scoring a job like that, she had to have at least an ounce of sanity in her, right? even if she dressed like that and talked like that and behaved like that.  but god, adam richards’ face did look extremely punchable right about then.

her judgement was clouded heavily by red hot rage, jo exhaled deeply through her mouth a couple of times to ground herself. countine one, two, three in her head. as much as she wanted to end him right then and there, she needed to get to the bottom of this. if not for her sake then for jack’s. “jack’s okay. considering.” brows still drawn together, jo scrunched up her nose in disgust. considering she was standing in front of his best friend and presumed murderer. considering he had died at the hands of who he’d trusted most. this wasn’t right. “we need to talk, richards. alone.” and, with her voice lowered and leaning in, she added:  “about the summer of ‘85. remember? when you killed my brother?”

Jo seemed.... angry. With him. And Adam wasn’t sure why. What had he done to Jack? The last time they’d talked had been at the carnival, when Adam had beaten him at Down a Clown, but this was definitely unrelated to that. Before that, it had been when Adam had come out to Jack and told him about dating Cole - but Jack had seemed fine with it! So Adam couldn’t understand what he had done to piss Jo off in the last few days. 

“Considering?” Adam repeated, raising an eyebrow in confusion. Consider the carnival? He hadn’t thought Jack got hurt - he hadn’t seen him in the hospital. But maybe he had been? Maybe Jack and Jo were made that Adam hadn’t come to see him? “Did he get hurt or something?” He asked. And then he got his answer on why Jo was upset with him. 

“I...killed Jack?” Adam repeated, freezing where he stood on the front porch. “No, I didn’t. No,” He shook his head, taking a step back and running into the door. “No, because I wouldn’t...” No, Adam wouldn’t do that. He would never, ever lay a finger on his best friend. But Adam wasn’t Adam when he blacked out, was he? And there was a whole week of his life in 1985 that Adam had no memory of, except for the time he’d nearly strangled Cole. If he had almost done that to the love of his life, what was he capable of doing to his best friend? “Oh my god...” Adam slumped backwards into the house, leaving the door open for Jo to follow. Without being able to stop himself, Adam doubled over the trashcan, throwing up the contents of his stomach at the thought of killing his best friend. His teammate. The guy he’d spent countless nights hanging out with in high school, the boy who’d come over and watch movies with him or join him at parties. The man he trusted more than almost anyone else, and who should have been able to trust Adam too. 

“I don’t remember doing that,” Adam sunk to the floor in his kitchen, tone almost a whisper despite them being alone now. Head in his hands, Adam pulled at his own hair. “I love Jack. He’s my best friend. How could I... how could I do that?” He asked, knowing Jo wouldn’t have an answer. 

chancecunningham​:

chance had undoubtedly come in hot with his questions, but he was at a loss. he’d been raised christian, which meant that to him, there had always been a clear line between good and evil. god and devil. it all used to be so black and white. but now…good people were doing terrible things. good people that he knew. people like adam. as his friend began to explain himself, chance clenched his jaw and did his best to listen.

“yo what do you mean?” chance asked as he rubbed the back of his neck and stared at adam, “like…you don’t remember anything? don’t remember yelling at cole to leave you alone and shit?” at the word ‘black out,’ he let out a scoff, “fucking christ, richards. you were drunk?” when adam shifted the focus to chance, he waved off his injury nonchalantly. “i’m fine,” the cut above his eyebrow had thankfully been the worst of it. 

chance wasn’t sure what he believed in anymore. he knew good and evil weren’t as black and white as he’d been raised to believe they, but he’d never considered that there was anything more powerful than god or the devil. but now…looking at adam…chance could see that he wasn’t lying. and this thing that had been possessing him…it felt more evil than the devil. “who put you guys up to this, adam? like…cause it wasn’t just you…i mean…heather halloway fucking lifted steve off the ground with her bare hands.” chance lifted both of his hands up like he was choking an invisible steve, “like…by the neck.” a beat. “it was like she wasn’t even human, man…like…” chance didn’t know what to think beyond that, so he just asked questions in circles. “you don’t know anything?”

Adam had distanced himself from the church a bit after he started dating Cole, but that didn’t mean that he’d stopped believing entirely. He had just worried about being part of a group that thought that what he felt for Cole was a sin. But Cole had known how much it mattered to Adam; he had shown him the research that he’d done on whether you could be both part of the church and gay. Not because Cole believed in any of it himself - he didn’t - but he knew that it mattered to Adam. And now, things were even more complicated than before. Because... how could someone who had strived their whole life to be good and do the right thing suddenly be capable of evil? What had Adam done to deserve this, or Jack for that matter? Was there even a Heaven or a Hell, and did Adam coming back mean that he didn’t deserve either? 

At the mention of what he’d done at the carnival, Adam flinched. Chance was upset, and he had a right to be. From the outside, Adam’s behavior made no sense and the things he had done were terrible. “No, I don’t,” He shook his head, distressed at the thought of yelling at Cole “I didn’t mean to.” Adam’s gaze snapped back up to Chance, eyes hardening at the implication that he’d been drunk that night. “I didn’t take or drink anything! I don’t know what happened, Chance! But I wasn’t drunk!” 

He wished he knew what had possessed them. Cole had called it the Mindflayer, but that meant nothing to Adam. He had never heard of anything like it, and he didn’t even know where to start looking into it. Research was more Cole’s area of expertise anyway. “I don’t know, Chance. Something... was controlling us, apparently.” Adam didn’t know how much it was okay to share with his best friend - did he tell him the whole truth or not? It wasn’t exactly something someone could just unknow once they’d heard it. Adam stared in shock at the image of Heather choking Steve and picking him up by the neck - he hadn’t heard that graphic detail yet. Jesus Christ. “I don’t know how we were suddenly super strong, or why she did that, man. I just know that I can’t remember it and apparently that’s how I was acting three years ago when... right before the forest commune thing happened.” Adam covered, not sure how Chance might take the news that he’d died. 

bethkrichards​:

Beth couldn’t even accept the apology if she tried. She knew that getting to be with Cole was something Cole had been begging for for years, saying if he’d had one last moment with Adam, then maybe, just maybe, everything would be different. Beth had felt the same: they both thought that being with him might have stopped the strange behavior he’d exhibited a week or so before he’d died. Now, when he was back and not weird, or so she’d thought, until people mentioned at the hospital that Adam wasn’t himself at the carnival, she couldn’t really blame either of them for wanting to spend every waking moment together. Especially not when Cole was in the hospital, and Beth was just grateful that Adam got to be by his side instead of reminiscing about missing him.

She nearly winced at the name coming from her brother’s mouth instead of Cole’s: Lizzie was reserved for Adam only, until Cole had said it once after he’d died and Beth hadn’t corrected him. It was an unspoken thing they’d kept between them to keep Adam a little bit alive. “Don’t be sorry,” she assured him with a shake of her head. “I’m sorry I couldn’t have been there more, but, you know, someone has to hold down the fort around here.” Beth tilted her head to each side, pondering his question. There already wasn’t much to do in Hawkins to begin with, much less after spending a few days straight in a hospital. “We could … hit the diner for some not-hospital food, bug Steve for Family Video’s latest releases, or, hear me out, we steal mom’s pool passes.” She paused, letting him take in the options. “Or, if you’re too tired for any of that, I’m perfectly fine with taking the couch in the basement and watching cable.”

Back in high school, Cole and Beth had been pretty close. Once she’d figured out that the two of them had a deeper connection than friendship, she’d hung out with them a lot, becoming someone the pair of them could depend on to help keep their secret. After he had died, though, it seemed that she and Cole had gotten even closer. Adam loved that. He was glad that they’d each had the other to depend on to help them get through their grief. Beth was his best friend, and he was thankful every day that he’d gotten a sister as wonderful as her. 

“No, you needed to be here,” Adam agreed, knowing their parents would have been concerned if they both started spending all of their time at the hospital together with Cole. And honestly, Adam had needed some time with just his boyfriend to process everything. Finding out that he had uncontrollable blackouts where he was full of rage wasn’t easy to hear, and he didn’t want to go through that in front of his little sister. “Beth,” He started, looking at her with concern. “Did I... before, three years ago, the week before I died,” Adam took a deep breath, still not used to saying the word. “Back then, did I do anything to hurt you or Cindy?” He asked, dreading the answer but needing to know it just the same. Adam was so thankful that he hadn’t hurt Cole, but he was worried he could have hurt someone else instead. “If I did, I’m so sorry.”

Those were some good options, but Adam wasn’t hungry enough to hit up the diner right now. He had talked to Steve a bit when he was still sharing the hospital room with Cole, but he wasn’t sure he was ready to go and act like everything was totally normal by bugging him at his job. The pool sounded nice. Whatever had happened to him and Cole at Lovers’ Lake had happened awhile ago, and Adam was sure it was tied more to the lake than to water itself. He also wouldn’t mind a night at home, though. “Pool or basement, you pick,” Adam told his sister with a small smile. 

jackforeman​:

As the door closed behind them, Jack felt himself suck in an anxious breath, as though all of the air in Adam’s room filled his lungs. It hung still between them for a moment until Adam spoke, letting out the first apology of what was bound to be many. Jack felt sorry, too, even though he was the one who had died at the hands of his best friend, the same ones that were shoved in the pockets of the familiar sweatshirt. In a flash, they could have been coming toward him again, locking his wrists behind his back, leading him toward whatever that thing was in the warehouse. 

But that wasn’t the Adam he knew. It wasn’t the same person that stood before him in his childhood bedroom, where they used to play cards and talk about the girls Jack now knew Adam was never into. It was another secret, piled onto the heap that people had been keeping from him. Like the others, it wasn’t one he could blame Adam for. If he had shown up at his own doorstep, he would’ve lied to himself, too, like Steve and Julie had when they’d omitted the part where he had come back from the dead. He didn’t blame Jo, either, for claiming that the board in the basement wasn’t hers until they needed it. The culmination of being kept in such darkness after losing years of his life, though? Jack was coming close to breaking.

If his memory was correct, it was Adam who had been the one who took those years away from him. Maybe it wasn’t Adam at the wheel of his own free will, but deep down, there was a piece of his friend in there, in the dream. He wanted to be mad, to blame everything on Adam: it would’ve been easier that way. After the carnival, though, and recognizing the feeling of having no autonomy over his own body, Jack simply couldn’t. It looked like Adam was ready for him to kick the shit out of him, like he’d done to Steve, but this was his Adam, his best friend, and there was nothing inside of him that would let him willingly hurt him.

“I have a feeling I’m not safe to be around, either,” he said finally, his teeth digging into his bottom lip. “That’s what you were going to tell me, before the carnival, wasn’t it? That you–that I died.” The word still stung on his tongue; he couldn’t come to say it without wincing. “I know, it couldn’t have been you, if that wasn’t us at the carnival, either.” Jack paused, taking a small step forward, slow, so as to not scare Adam. “I don’t hate you. I could never.” Another step, before his arm was wrapped around Adam’s, the other coming around his shoulder, bringing Adam into his embrace. “I promise.” 

Adam was trying to keep his distance from Jack, not for his own safety, but in case it was true. In case he had killed his best friend. After what Jo had said, and what Adam knew from talking to Cole, it made sense. As much as Adam didn’t want to believe that he could be capable of that - even in the worst circumstances - he knew he wasn’t in control of his own body when he blacked out. Whatever he had done, he hadn’t decided to do it.

That didn’t fully absolve him of guilt, though. Adam knew he hadn’t chosen to hurt Jack, but that didn’t mean his body hadn’t been used as a weapon to kill. And no matter how much Adam wished he could, he couldn’t fix the damage he’d done three years ago. The worst part was, Adam didn’t even remember it. He didn’t remember doing whatever he had done to Jack - but Jack did. Jack had to live with that visual now, and all of the pain and terror that came with it. 

No part of Adam would have blamed Jack for showing up to kick his ass. He wouldn’t fight back at all, afraid of hurting Jack again in the process. Adam frowned at Jack’s confession, wanting to argue but he couldn’t. If what he’d heard about the carnival was true, maybe none of them ever would be safe to be around. Not while they were having the blackouts. “You didn’t kill anyone, though,” Adam said, pausing on the word kill. It still felt wrong to say, like the action itself. 

“...yes,” Adam admitted quietly, thinking back to that day in the Foreman’s basement. It felt like a lifetime ago - back when his biggest issue was whether or not he had really died. Adam knew the truth now; he knew that he had. He knew that Jack had. “Cole told me I’d died the first time I saw him after we got back. I didn’t... I didn’t believe him, at first. I didn’t want to. I didn’t want you to have to know that either, unless you wanted to.” Adam hadn’t wanted to force that truth on Jack. It had been impossible for Adam to process himself at first. “Not because of what I did to you. I wasn’t trying to hide that, because I don’t remember it. I just didn’t want to fuck up your life with news like that.” Because while Adam didn’t blame Cole for telling him... it had caused so much grief. So many nights lying awake, wondering why he hadn’t gone to Heaven or Hell. Wondering what he had done to deserve dying at nineteen years old, right in the prime of his life. Wondering how he had died, if he had died. Jack didn’t deserve to have those same thoughts. 

As Jack approached him, Adam wanted to take a step back. The more distance, the less likely it was that something bad could happen to either of them. But he stood his ground, taking in the words of forgiveness he didn’t feel he deserved. Not entirely, at least. I don’t hate you. I could never. The words made Adam’s eyes tear up, and he returned Jack’s embrace tightly. “I’m so sorry, Jack. I’m sorry.”

loverboymontgomery​:

The rush of tears made Cole feel lightheaded and, despite his frantic blinking, they spilled down his cheeks. It was him. Adam was okay. He knew it was his him when he heard the layers of guilt in his voice, when his boyfriend angled his head to the floor. Cole hated seeing him like this, maybe just as much as he hated seeing out-of-body Adam. “Sweetheart,” Cole cooed, attempting to make his brittle voice sound comforting.

“Of course… Of course I want you here. Will you come sit by me?” he asked gently, though internally he felt like he was twelve years old, begging his mother not to leave him at bedtime. He was afraid of what happened, of course. But more than he was afraid for his own safety, he was terrified of what all of this meant for Adam. A pang of guilt swirled amidst the fear; Cole should’ve told Adam everything he knew, right away.

As Adam sat next to him, still cautious, afraid of something, Cole reached out his arm, offered his hand. “I’m okay,” he promised. “I’ll be fine. Are you okay? Did you get hurt?” He searched Adam’s body for any sign of injury and met his eyes. Cole desperately wished that this was all they had to talk about, that Adam could climb into bed with him and things could be simple. But he knew better, and he wouldn’t leave Adam in the dark, not again.

Painfully, Cole twisted and picked up his water, needing some relief for his throat before he dared dive into this. “You don’t remember anything?” he asked, eyes lingering on the crease in Adam’s brow. He desperately wanted to shield Adam from this, to never tell him what horrible things had been done and said through his body.

Cole was crying again, in anticipation for how much this was going to hurt Adam. Adam, who couldn’t fathom hurting another person or letting someone down. Adam, who was always so good, who happily took on the burden of being the strong one, the shoulder to cry on. Adam, who deserved better than all of this. Cole bit down on his trembling lower lip, willing himself to keep it together, if only for Adam’s sake.

“Before you died,” he began cautiously, knowing that even saying that much was still shocking, “You were different. It wasn’t you. I didn’t know until later, but you were… possessed, I guess. By this thing they call the Mindflayer. It made you act different and then… it killed you. Or, it died and you died with it.” The whole thing still hurt his head, honestly, and there weren’t nearly enough answers. “I don’t know how or who or why but… you came back. And I think it’s happening again… it controlling you. I thought you were going to die again,” he choked back another influx of tears, remembering that horrifying moment at the carnival.

Cole had immediately recognized the similarities between Adam at the carnival and Adam the last day he saw him– the stiffness of his body, the coldness of his tone, the cruelty of his words. He hoped Adam never found out about that moment. Swiping at his cheek with the back of his hand, Cole met Adam’s eyes again and tried for an encouraging smile. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, and I’m sorry I don’t have more answers. But we’ll figure it out. Together, like you said.” He lifted Adam’s hand to his lips, ignoring the shooting pain from his ribcage. “I promise, love, we’ll figure it out.” He didn’t know what figuring it out meant, not even remotely, but he knew he wasn’t going anywhere until they did.

Adam wouldn’t have blamed him if Cole had told him to leave. Because Adam didn’t know what he had or hadn’t done - especially to Cole - but he knew it couldn’t be pretty. He was just so fucking worried that his nightmare really was a memory, that he’d said those things and shoved Cole up against a wall and nearly choked him. He wouldn’t be mad at Cole if he was scared of him, because until Adam got some answers, he was pretty scared of himself.

But his chest ached when Cole called him Sweetheart, voice rough but so Cole. That alone made him want to cry and hold him and tell him that he’d never ever ever want to do something to upset Cole again. And when Cole asked him to sit with him? Adam had no choice but to walk closer, sitting down gently on the edge of the bed, farther away from Cole than he would normally. As much as Adam wanted to seek comfort from his boyfriend, he didn’t want to jostle any of his injuries.

“Are you sure?” Adam asked urgently, blue eyes studying Cole closely. He knew he wasn’t physically okay - he had broken a rib. But how was he handling all of this emotionally? Cole had a tendency to be in denial of things, to want them to be perfect even when everything was falling apart around them. And Adam needed to know that he wasn’t doing that right now. “Baby, you have to tell me if you’re not okay. Please. I can’t,” He took a deep breath, pressing his lips into a thin line. “I can’t handle it if you’re not honest.”

He reflexively tried to reach for the water for Cole, to take care of him without even being asked. But Cole could do it himself. He didn’t need Adam to smother him right now, no matter how much Adam wanted to. He slowly lowered his hands back to his lap, clasping his knees tightly. “Not from the carnival,” Adam admitted sadly, biting his lip. “Just riding the Tunnel of Love, and then I woke up to you being put into an ambulance.” He finally let himself lean a little closer, needing physical contact to ground himself. His hand slipped into Cole’s, squeezing it gently.

Adam hated seeing Cole cry. If he could do something to make it better, to shield him from whatever pain he was facing, he would. Adam would shoulder any burden if it meant keeping Cole happy and healthy and safe. He would do anything in the world that Cole Montgomery asked him to do - something that had been true since they met in early high school. Gently, he leaned forward and wiped away Cole’s tears with his free hand, touch feather light against his skin.

And then Adam’s world collapsed.

“I…what?” He asked, confusion lacing his voice. That didn’t make any sense. He had been possessed? By…by a demon, or something like that? For one gut wrenching moment, Adam worried that maybe this was God’s way of punishing him for being who he was. For who he loved. But Cole called it the Mindflayer, and that didn’t sound like any demon he’d ever heard about in church on Sunday. “So I really died?” Adam begged Cole to lie, to tell him that he was kidding. But something in his eyes said that this was true. He didn’t even try to stop the tears that were flowing down his cheeks now, letting them hit the starched sheets of Cole’s hospital bed.

“What if I am?” He asked, lip trembling at the thought. Adam didn’t want to die. He was still so young - there was so much of the world he wanted to see. He wanted to live with and love Cole for as many years as possible, not die before he’d even turned 25. Right now, he needed to comfort Cole though, and he leaned forward to sob on his shoulder, free hand wrapping around his neck as gently as possible. In the nightmare he’d wanted to do that out of anger, but now the only thing Adam felt for Cole was love. Love and guilt for putting him through this.

“I do remember… something from before. Or maybe it isn’t a memory, maybe it was a - a nightmare, or something,” He rambled, tears continuing to fall as his thumb rubbed over the back of Cole’s neck from the uncomfortable position he was committing to. “I…or, it wasn’t me but it was me. It was my body. I was so mean to you, and I shoved you against a wall and told you to leave me alone. I thought I was going to kill you, Cole. But I…I stopped it. I don’t know what I did, but I stopped it.” Adam told him, sobbing into the space between Cole’s neck and shoulder. Maybe this wasn’t fair - maybe he shouldn’t be acting like this when it was Cole in the hospital, not him. But fuck, Adam needed comfort. Adam needed to know Cole was alive and that they could get through it together. That Cole didn’t hate him or blame him. “I love you.” He whispered when his tears felt like they might begin to subside. “I love you more than anything, Walden.”

bethkrichards​:

WHO: beth & @goldenboyrichards​ WHERE: adam’s room

When he was still dead, Beth would go into Adam’s room sometimes just to feel his presence. She would raid his closet, find things that she didn’t even know he owned to keep for herself or give to Cole. Their mother had no idea that she did this, or else she would have thrown a fit that she was ransacking Adam’s things, but Beth couldn’t stand the thought of letting his things just sit there when she and Cole could carry a piece of him around with them when he wasn’t there any longer. Before she was thrust into the path toward dentistry, she painted in there, too, sometimes talked to Adam like he was still there. Now that he was back, it was still a bit of an adjustment to see her brother sitting on his bed like nothing had ever happened, but she and Cole had agreed: they weren’t going to question it. Adam was back, and they’d do everything they could to get it to stay that way.

“I thought I heard you come in,” she greeted, leaning against the doorframe. The two had been by Cole’s side for the past few days; Beth had only left the hospital when Adam needed something from home or when their parents needed someone to watch Cindy (even though they argued that she was perfectly fine to take care of herself). Now that Cole was home, though, she had to admit that it was nice to have her bed, shower, and non-hospital food back. “I have to admit, I like you a lot better when you don’t smell like …” death, she wanted to say, but the joke wasn’t that funny yet, not when she’d heard that something had happened to Adam at the carnival. “Like hospital, I guess. When are you going back over Cole’s house? I was hoping I could get, like, five minutes of you to myself before you left,” she teased, sitting beside him on the edge of his bed.

Coming home to find all of his hoodies missing had been a shock, but Adam understood once he’d heard who had them. Beth and Cole, the two people he loved the most in the world ( although Chrissy was a close third ). Even when he was alive, he found that a fair amount of his hoodies and shirts would go missing, with the pair of them usually to blame. He found it sweet, even if he did want them back - he appreciated that each of them just wanted a little piece of him to feel close to. Adam loved his little sister and his boyfriend so much, and he felt beyond lucky to have them. The fact that they’d had each other to lean on after whatever had happened to him three years ago made him feel a bit better about it in general.

“Oh, yeah,” Adam said, flushing slightly at getting caught sneaking back into his own room. Adam and Cole had done this countless times before, though. It was easier than explaining things to Rebecca or Jim Richards. And thankfully, Adam lived on the first floor and getting in and out of the window was easy. At her comment about his smell, Adam nodded, glad he didn’t smell like hospital either. The alcohol and antiseptic had been overwhelming, but at least it had helped to mask the smoke until he’d been able to shower. “Sorry,” Adam apologized, frowning as he sat down on his bed. “I’m just worried about him. And I...” felt guilty. Cole assured him that it wasn’t his fault, but Adam just couldn’t believe that. “I want to be there for him. “ He rubbed his eyes, unable to cry again if he tried. But they were dry and puffy and irritated from everything that had happened. “I won’t go back for a bit. He was sleeping anyway, and I left a note so he wouldn’t worry if I wasn’t there when I got back,” Adam knew Cole probably would anyway, but he did want to spend some time with his little sister. “What do you want to do, Lizzie?”

chancecunningham​:

WHO: @goldenboyrichards​ & chance cunningham WHERE: the hospital, specifically outside cole’s room WHEN: a day or two after the carnival tragedy

making the decision to come to the hospital after everything that went down at the carnival wasn’t easy. the last thing chance wanted to do was be faced with more trauma that he didn’t know how to process…but what choice did he have? he’d heard that steve was in intensive care because of the injuries he’d sustained, so obviously chance had to go see his friend…plus a few others. 

the first person chance visited was cole. it was no secret that the two boys had never gotten along much. but still. cole had offered chance his flask on the tunnel of love like an olive branch, so when chance found that same flask abandoned in the middle of the carnival after the explosives went off, something possessed him to grab it and return it to its rightful owner. 

chance’s meeting with cole had left him with a lot on his mind. were the two friends? far from it, but maybe they were on their way to something less tense. especially because they had a shared connection with— “adam,” chance said as he exited cole’s room and spotted his friend in a chair right outside the door, “he’s asleep.” chance shut the door gently and let out an exhausted sigh before he plopped down in a seat next to his best friend. 

where did he even begin? “what the fuck were you thinking back at the carnival, man?” he whispered, effectively forgetting half of what he’d just talked about with cole, “are you brainwashed?” chance had never been tactful when his emotions were heightened like this, “or…i mean…yeah, i don’t know, just…what the fuck?” it was high time chance and adam had a talk, and since he wasn’t sure when he’d have him alone again (save for a few nurses walking by), he seized the opportunity.

With how stressed out Adam had been about Cole and about what he’d done at the carnival, he had barely even thought about his other friends. The ones who’d been hurt the worst were in here anyway, and he could check on them and apologize for his fucked up part in everything. But people like Chance, Jack, and Chrissy had slipped his mind a bit. That made him feel like a sort of shitty friend, but he also had some pretty massive concerns here. Like...what if he blacked out again? What could he do to stop it?

After getting back from the cafeteria, he’d taken a break from Cole’s room for a bit, sitting out in the hallway while Cole had a visitor. He didn’t want to bother them. But when Chance exited the room, Adam perked up a bit. It was really nice of Chance to visit his friend while he was in here, in his opinion. “Chance,” Adam greeted back, nodding at the news that Cole had fallen asleep. Good, he needed the extra rest. After being so injured, it would be nice for him to be able to recover a bit while he slept.

Chance’s questions were valid, but Adam didn’t have any idea on how to answer them. What the fuck had he been thinking at the carnival? The truth was nothing. He couldn’t control himself at all. “I don’t know,” Adam admitted quietly, staring at the floor. “It wasn’t...I blacked out, Chance,” He told his best friend, worried he wouldn’t believe him. “I don’t know how, but I swear to God, I wasn’t in control back there.” Maybe he was brainwashed - how else could he explain the blackouts? Adam didn’t know. “I just remember getting off the Tunnel of Love and then waking up to Cole being put in the ambulance. Were you hurt at all?” Adam really hoped not.

WHO: Adam & @scribblcs

WHAT: Please talk about your feelings <333

WHERE: Dr. Gabe’s Office

Therapy wasn’t something Adam had any experience with. Neither of his parents had ever seen a therapist that he knew of, at least not while he was growing up. It just didn’t seem necessary, and even now Adam wasn’t sure it was going to be a good fit for him. As much as he was in touch with his emotions, he wasn’t used to sitting around and talking about them with anyone except Cole, Chrissy, Beth or Jack sometimes. Talking to a stranger about his life just felt weird. 

But after everything that had happened with the carnival, Adam knew he probably should visit Dr. Diaz. It had been mandated when they had all begun emerging from the forest commune, but Adam had been successfully avoiding his appointment for awhile now. But with the blackouts? Adam needed someone to help him figure out what was happening, and help him process the idea that he’d done horrifying things whether he meant to or not. 

When he entered Dr. Diaz’s office, he offered the man a tight smile, avoiding his eyes. He wasn’t sure how comfortable he felt opening up to him at this point, honestly. With a glance at the couch in the room, Adam frowned for a minute. “Am I supposed to lay down?” He asked, basing this entirely off of every movie he’d seen with a character laying down and baring their heart to the guy with a notepad. “Um, I’m Adam, by the way.” Adam introduced, although he was sure Dr. Diaz had already been briefed about him or something, just like Peter had been. He stuck his hand out to shake, waiting to follow Dr. Diaz’s lead. 

WHO: Adam & @zccming​

WHAT: How tf haven’t we met yet

WHERE: Cole’s Room

If there was someone who’d been hanging around Cole and Steve’s hospital room as much as himself ( and Eddie, of course ), it was Max Mayfield. Unfortunately for Adam, most of the time, she’d been around while he’d been asleep. The events of the carnival had exhausted him, and any chance he got to sleep either curled up around Cole or sitting in the chair, holding his hand, Adam took. But this time, he seemed to have woken up before Cole and found her in one of the chairs in the room. “Oh, hey,” He greeted quietly, being very careful not to wake Cole as he got out of the small hospital bed. 

He wasn’t sure how she felt about him after everything that had happened at the carnival. Adam couldn’t blame her if she hated him or blamed him for what had happened because honestly, he blamed himself too. He didn’t understand any of it, even the things that Cole had shared with him confused him. Adam just knew that the blackouts were dangerous and had happened before. Giving her her space, Adam kept to the edges of the room after he’d stood up and stretched. “I’m sorry about the carnival,” He finally said, studying her. “I don’t get this. I don’t know what’s happening to me or why we did that.” The lack of answers terrified him, honestly. 

WHO: Adam Richards & @stevehharringtcns​

WHAT: Stadam After Dark ( in a platonic way ) Stadam Kiss While their Boyfs are Busy

WHERE: Cole and Steve’s Hospital Room

When Cole had finally fallen back asleep, Adam had taken the opportunity to get up and stretch. He’d been rotating between sitting in the uncomfortable chair next to Cole during visiting hours to laying beside him in the hospital bed once everyone had gone home. Cole was sharing the room with Steve Harrington, but considering he’d hooked up with Cole once himself, Adam doubted he’d say anything about Adam being gay. 

As he stretched, he glanced over to Steve’s side of the room to see him still up. “...Can’t sleep?” Adam asked quietly, careful not to cross over to Steve’s side without him being okay with it. “I could call a nurse or something. They might have sleeping pills or something you could take.” Frankly, after the shit Steve had lived through over the last few days, Adam didn’t blame him for not going to bed. Adam was sure he wouldn’t sleep well right now if it weren’t for being able to cuddle with his boyfriend. But even then, he was still so worried something would happen, like he’d wake up to find he’d hurt Cole again some how. Thankfully, that hadn’t happened yet. 

“Cole...told me. About what happened,” Adam admitted quietly, looking at the floor. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know why we did that.” He really didn’t - all he knew was that they’d thrown up black liquid than gone crazy. Apparently Adam had done that before. Apparently Jack had hit Steve, which Adam just couldn’t imagine. “Are you okay?” 

jackforeman​:

WHO: jack foreman & @goldenboyrichards​ </33 WHERE: the richards’ residence

All that Jack could think about on his drive over to Adam’s house was that he had killed him. Probably with his bare hands, too, or whatever that black thing was that he saw in his head. He didn’t know what to think, or how to feel except betrayal and confusion. This was his best friend, someone he’d gone through hell and back with, and it was Adam’s fault that he had missed three years of his life. Three years of not being with his sisters, of being beside them while they mourned him, no matter where they thought he went. He gripped the steering wheel so hard his knuckles were as white as the hood of his car, his breathing heavy but shaky as he made his way the few blocks to Adam’s house.

He’d waited to do this until Cole was out of the hospital, now knowing what he knew about the two. The past few days had been spent locked in his room with the occasional visit from Jo or Julie until he’d gotten the call from Adam’s sister that he was back at home. There were more important things than demanding answers about something that had happened years ago, especially when it concerned someone who Adam loved.

Jack’s heart was in his throat as he got out of the car, needing a moment to catch his breath before he rang the doorbell to see Adam’s face. It was a sight he hadn’t seen in the flesh since being in the Tunnel of Love despite replaying in his mind, plaguing his dreams since then. The look of determination before Adam had taken him into the warehouse was etched into his memory now, forever. As Adam opened the door, Jack took a step back, forcing a pained smile as he greeted him. “Hey, I heard you were home. Could I, uh … do you have a second? Can I come in?”

Some people were scared of spiders, some were scared of heights. Adam Richards was scared of letting down the people he loved the most. He always had been. Being a people pleaser was in his DNA, constructed out of the burden of being the only son and eldest child in the family. A duty to protect others, keep them safe, had long since been ingrained in him. Hurting someone? Hurting someone went against everything that Adam stood for. In his core, his very being, Adam was destroyed by the thought of hurting another person. It was unthinkable.

Killing Jack? He couldn’t fathom it.

After Jo had gone home a few days ago, Adam had barely left his room. He had known that the blackouts were bad, that they were something he should be scared of. His body wasn’t his when they happened - because Adam would never, ever hurt someone he cared about. But did that really matter? Because Adam had done it. It didn’t matter that it hadn’t been his decision; he had still killed his best friend. His body was more than capable of murder, even if it wasn’t Adam calling the shots. 

When his mom told him that Jack was here to see him, Adam felt nauseous, like he truly might throw up. How could Adam even look at Jack right now? But... how could he not? Jack had every fucking right to hate him - Adam hated himself for what he’d done while blacked out. And if Jack wanted to confront him, then Adam couldn’t and wouldn’t stop it. He shakily walked to the door, opening it and peering at Jack sadly. 

“Yeah, man. Of course,” Adam said, opening it wider and leading the way towards his bedroom. He didn’t want his parents to overhear what he had done. “Jack, I - I’m so sorry. I don’t remember... doing that. And you can say or do whatever you want to me,” He told him after he closed the door behind Jack, nervously stuffing his hands into the pocket of one of the few hoodies Cole and Beth hadn’t stolen from him. “I get it. I’m not really safe to be around right now.” 

jofcreman​:

where: the richards residence

what: adam richards, watch your back.

who: @goldenboyrichards​ + jo.

following the incredibly awkward and horrifying talk the three foreman siblings had had in their basement, jo had wasted no time, grabbing her bag and booking it to where she remembered adam to live. her sister’s words rung in her ears, jack’s mortified face a constant image in the back of her head. ‘adam richards killed you?’ echoing through her skull, the source of a newly surfaced pounding migraine. ‘he said it would be ‘all over soon’.’ 

it was as if she couldn’t tell left from right, right from wrong anymore. she didn’t understand - but then again, maybe it wasn’t for her to understand. all that she knew for sure was that three years ago her brother had died. and now he was back from the dead, claiming that adam had killed him. god, she felt stupid. how she, for years, had discarded all the clues people called into the post pointing towards something supernatural happening in town. as it turned out, it was true - hawkins was cursed.

and jo felt posessed with rage and anger as she stormed up the stairs to the front door, knocking furiously. “adam richards!”, she called out between knocks, chest heaving. “you’ve got some fucking explaining to do, shitbird!”

Adam had gotten home from the hospital not long ago, assuring his mom that he was fine and that Cole and Chrissy were fine ( Chrissy hadn’t even been there, not that his mom cared ). In truth, Adam wasn’t doing so great right now, but he didn’t really think he had a reason to complain. After all, he’d been part of the people who had caused the destruction. He’d helped Billy, Melissa and Heather with the explosives, even if he hadn’t lit the match. Even if he had blacked out - it had been his body doing the task. 

The worst part was the not knowing. Not knowing when the blackouts might come back, not knowing what was causing them. Not knowing what he had done to deserve becoming this. 

He’d switched off shifts at the hospital with Beth, and Cindy was at a friend’s house, so there was no one to complain when he hogged the shower after his parents left to go grocery shopping. Adam smelled like smoke, sweat, alcohol, and antiseptic, a disgusting combination that he was ready to be rid of. He wasn’t sure he ever would be, though; the scent felt ingrained in his memory. Once he’d finally gotten out and thrown on a shirt and athletic shorts, he heard frantic knocking on the front door. 

Adam Richards. He knew that voice - one of Jack’s sisters. Shit, had something happened to Jack? Adam wrenched the door open, stepping back in case she reached up to knock on it again. “What happened?” He asked, looking to see if Jack or the other Foreman sister was with her too. “Is Jack okay? Did he throw up the black stuff again?” Was Jack in danger? Adam was worried about his best friend, worried that maybe he had blacked out again and done something crazy.