Just Me

I need to finally accept the fact that I’m alone. I tried to open myself up to help and friendship and support & I’ve had to demand it. It did not come freely. I don’t think this is going to change. It hurts but I accept it.

I think pretty soon, I’m just going to have to diminish my contact with others. Keep it to only public scenarios like grocery stores and barbershops. Leave personal ties behind me. I wish things were different but there nothing I can do.

I wish that I didn’t have to keep changing myself to fit into this world. I’ve really come to like who I am as a person, and I thought I was bringing something good to the world. I find myself having a harder and harder time everyday. Being myself makes me only feel more lonely and like I don’t belong. I wish no one would ever know this feeling.

So much of the time I feel like I don’t matter. And I think I do, but no one else seems to think so. I’m not sure how I’ll manage to be who I want to be and also remove myself from society. So much pain. It doesn’t matter. My feelings don’t seem to matter. How can I value myself when no one else does? I’m conflicted. I’m hurt. I think I really should just leave everyone alone.

Maybe one day someone will hear me.

(11.11.17)

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lgbtq writing feelings journal depressing thoughts lonely black artists sensitive no friends black men loner life solo

I’m tired.

How I’m gon’ worry ‘bout y’all, but y’all ain’t worried ‘bout me? 😆

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alovejr

9 years ago

Midtown Meeting

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my work

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alovejr

8 years ago

So proud of this! Cannot wait to share the full thing!

Here is the official trailer for our new film “XING!”

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alovejr

9 years ago

The gift of music… from @sennheiser 🎧

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me my work model

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alovejr

6 years ago

YouTube

EXPOSURE | SEASON 1 - YouTube

The first season of the show is here! A new episode every week! Please support!

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young artist representation photography my work my life webseries equality black men activist queerart filmmaker

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alovejr

8 years ago

My PSA airs tomorrow 7/1/16. Please watch and share! Thank you.

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my work

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alovejr

7 years ago

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lgbt me portrait writers biseuxal photography male model black artists muscle my life photooftheday lips actor brown eyes black men activist big lips beardedmen

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alovejr

2 years ago