㋡🥀

the unbearable heaviness of girlhood / Su Xinyu / Lucie Brock-Broido

Wastefulness

I don’t

know

I don’t know

how to stop

Stop the tears from falling

Stop the fears from showing

Stop a life from being wasted

Please stop me

Stop me from wasting my life

Stop wasting a life on me

“Do not confuse my bad days as a sign of weakness. Those are actually the days I’m fighting the hardest.”

— Unknown

It’s staying up at night

Listening to the ticking of the clock,

the sounds from outside.

It's being distracted for just a short time

by the light of the streetlight

shining through the carelessly closed shutters

It’s hoping not having to face the next day

It’s numbing fear

Waking up the next morning,

starting the day with newfound motivation

It’s creeping up throughout the day

Doing the dishes,

writing an essay,

drinking coffee

And suddenly it’s there

“I want you always to remember me. Will you remember that I existed, and that I stood next to you here like this?”

— Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

Streetlamp light disturbs the midnight time

Distorted shadow, running along the asphalt

It might be mine

Summer Blues

I miss the cold

The foggy air, the gloomy sky

The grey clouds

For a short time my feelings appear justified

When the snow covers the ground

When the cold winds make people shiver

I don’t feel like a burden

People start talking about winter blues

And I believe my blues are less unusual

It’s the dry air that hurts on the skin

Which makes me hope that it’s normal to hurt within

And when the sun comes out

Flowers bloom, people laugh

I feel more alone

love elizabeth s.