Latest Posts by silent-sound - Page 2

I would love to allow me to be loved by you But honey, oh honey don’t doubt the loudness in my head words which scream how not enough I am over your words how much you adore me I want to let myself fall right into your arms where you would hold me tight and close but still every little bit of space would be just enough room to develop a black hole which teleport me right into my brain where my thoughts wait like thirsty wolves ready to punish me for letting myself fall for you

When did "I love you"s  lost their worth? They are no longer a promise of feelings but rather a confirm of enjoyment they are the life we dream of but not the dream we live they are the desire we hope for but not the passion we find they are a lie we replace with the truth but not the truth we see in each other we love to live a lie because it is so much easier then to go outside again and find someone where “I love you” is more than a construct against the loneliness

I want to let go of a couple of things like of the idea of being anything of meeting the expectations I expect others to have Yet all I reached is the nothingness I called the vision of perfection and couldn't hold onto anyway  

I am sorry but I am not going to make it Instead, I will float in the sea of unconsciousness and slowly drown to the sound of your voice I am sorry but I am not able to be yet I will rather remain as an ungrown flower and hide in the shadows hide from the sun hide from the rain only to avoid growing up and to stay a child I am sorry but I am not ready to fall this early because if I fall for you you are not able to catch me and I can't fly yet I am sorry but I am not ready to leave my nest yet I am not ready to fly not ready to grow not ready to be the human you try to see in me

Show me your darkness You try to light up Let me dance with your shadows Instead of sunbathe in your light Tell me your secrets So I can fall in love With the person  you hate yourself the most for Let me exchange your idea of your ugliness With the beauty, there is behind

Stay right here I am not going to leave yet Just promise me one thing That you would do the same And stay here until Our feelings collabs I want to feel you close Your head on my chest Counting the beats of my heart Not knowing that with every beat I get closer to fall for you I need to find your heart So I can watch you fall Just like you watch me

empty faces

It is another kind of heartbreak to realize that I still haven’t found the soul I am searching for in the person, I hoped so much would reflect my perception of perfection after spending so much time searching in empty faces and beliving that this one has a heart that would mirror my own Just to see they are just another empty face in the crowd of lost lovers I got lost in as well Only this time I painted their face so it is easier to pretend and hold onto something that isn’t even there It is so tiring to search without finding or find without keeping because even if they leave it wouldn’t be their missing that would hurt but knowing that nothing has changed I am still on my journey through empty faces until finding the other wanderer who searches for a face in so much emptiness as well

“I am going to change, I promise” I never knew that changing could mean leaving Maybe not even you knew Maybe no one could

I saw that; I saw you How you kept your promise of changing How you and your mind drifted away every day a little bit more a little bit more away from me away from staying

I changed to stop you from leaving No matter how similar we may be Our words may sound the same But changing never meant leaving to me

Like I never meant home to you

stranger

You are just a stranger I introduced to my heart so it feels less empty and I less alone

I am just a stranger you introduced to your heart so I would satisfy your needs and you would feel complete 

We are just two stranger who agreed to use each other  to fill our desires in the most egoistic way possible 

a name

There is a fragile beauty  in the way you are gone There is an absurd pleasure in the way you left There is a broken soul who used to find peace  with you And there is an empty voice which used to sing your name like a song to the stars

It is funny how things change How your name lies strangely on the tip of my tongue  How I absorb every single letter to find the hidden secret to why your name was so familiar once like a soulmate to mine but now fades away with your face and the peace it promised 

But I can’t stop I can’t stop repeating your name every night like a goodnight story  to scare the ghosts inside my chest and your spirit which stayed and still dances under the moonlight I still scream your name in my head until it feels like you again

Loving you  is just another way of self-harm

Honey

Honey, you want to heal? forget the ugly words and the things he did how he blew out the candle  and you found yourself lost as the light faded away

Honey, you want to move on? Let go of the past  and the “I love you”s you shared Take back the person you gifted the time you shared Take back everything you don’t want him to keep

Honey, you want to live again? Leave the sadness you found after love and start all over again Find love in yourself and the things you enjoyed  Make room in your mind by throwing him out Find comfort in being alone

Honey, is that what you want? Healing, moving on and living? Because the truth is, it’s all in your hands but you rather remain in your situation Do you fear that the pain it takes to let it go would be more hurting than the pain you are currently in?

Honey, you won’t heal by  rereading and relistening old text messages and voice mails You won’t move on by  asking the universe for a call from him You won’t live again by reliving the memories you saved in your mind

You won’t find yourself by searching him

Honey, stop it,  Stop procrastinating on the future  Stop hurting yourself with the past  Don’t throw yourself away  It’s your love where you will find yourself again Not his

It’s you where you will gain the power from to heal move on  and live again

You can’t make a home out of a person

and at the end, it’s all I wanted  to make you my home fill your body with my spirit fill my soul with your love to find me in your mirroring eyes I wanted to make a home out of you feel your presence next to mine breath your air which filled your lungs once and now fill mine

And still no matter how hard I tried  to make a home out of you to hold on to the idea of what we could be you were never mine you were never my home no matter how hard I tried because you can’t make a home out of a person

A farewell does not always feel like one

It can wear a mask of a new beginning, a new chapter

“Let's stay friends”

I am fine with that

as long as I can keep your ghost next to me

as long as I can hear your voice 

as long as I can keep your heart

as long as you can keep mine

Look at me

Look at me, with the eyes I used to see myself in

Look at me, don’t you feel anything? 

Nothing at all?

No

A lie I tell you

to hide my feelings, my desires

to hide me from you

I am floating in the lake of love

I created with my missing tears

Your promises sweet like honey touching my lips filling my soul Let’s see  How long you can keep  your promises of love, respect and security 

I am drowning in the ocean of time and space Lost myself in the gab of ending and beginning I will remain here sit and swallow my anxiety  shivering from the unpleasant unknown of what is coming next  I have to learn to swim

Go and search your fly swatter In the end, I am just a fly trapped in your mind searching a window to freedom You closed every escape after luring me so carefully Let me fly into your self-made prison And walls Covered with paintings of love and security Just to wake up at night to try to escape from the fly swatter you hid in your walls You wanted to spray so much love Where is it, honey? Did you lost your words just as easy as I lost the sight of the truth?

I was your place of calm in the night You left me broken and abandoned  I wish I could go back, standing strong in the corner of your heart But now I am broken, shattered into a million pieces, ripped out Only left are my splinter in your skin

I want to go back in time  Be fixed, stable and loved again Not standing in the rain, soaking the water into myself  and feel my wooden heart swallow

Stop feeling sorry Stop feeling disgusted  Look at me and remember the past The number of nights we spend together  But all I see is you wishing for something new A new place of calm in the night

I can’t sleep without you without feeling your resting body pressed against mine I am awake and so are you By breaking me, you lost your place of calm I am broken and you are restless  We did not think at all

You can blame me for my weakness But wood is not meant for eternity And no matter how much you crave for something new I will always remember the nights we shared The calm of your breath  whenever you were about to fall asleep  I would be there to catch and hold you until the morning sun arrived 

But that's not on me anymore And even when I am gone remember me remember our nights, dreams and smiles Just a moment before you fall asleep remember the comfort  we used to find and the love we used to share

I don’t have anything to hide My shadows are enlightened  My words are spoken What are your secrets? Show me your ghosts the demons you try to drown every night in the liquid you call solution

Allow yourself  to heal Your life is not dedicated to  suffering and pain You are allowed  to feel delighted You are allowed to love to be loved to be loved by yourself

You are a beautiful soul  remember that

And if he wants to leave  Let him go Because you can’t hold onto something that's already gone You can’t stop people Neither stop time or stop moving on And you will see Someday you will feel  Awake and alive again Because after all

You are a beautiful soul remember that 

Falling in love is its own kind of violence

I am not ready to lose this Not ready to discover another time Another time without you I am not willing to give you up Not willing to give up love the love which felt so safe I am not prepared to let you go Not prepared to move on move on and exist on my own Exist on my own on my own my own alone

We said we would fight the distance We said  we would never give up We knew  it wouldn’t be easy but we hoped for the best We failed and buried our sweetly spoken promises under all the other  never forgotten lies. Only left are the memories remembering us painfully what of a sweet life  we promised each other

I feel trapped by my own heart  Losing my patience by searching your presence  in the fading words you left behind You promised me nothing  but I still feel betrayed Every day I am waiting  falling for you Staring at the world and no clue what to do

Believe that it's all possible All the dreams And all the wanting All the changes All the promises All the hopes Everything is possible It doesn't depend on the stars Or the lovely words out of someone mound. It depends on you And your actions Because it's your life and your life only

I don’t want to be your    drunk text romance. I don’t want to hear your    confession of love at 1 a.m    when you are drunk   and lost in your feelings of    loneliness and desperation. I don’t want to be loved   the way you love me    whenever you feel like it. I don’t want to be loved because   you want to love someone    and I am the only one around. I want to be loved    because you love me   not because you think you do. 

So tell me

how can you

love someone

and don't care at all?

"Distance is pain"

you said

So I told you

that someday

we would be together

and "someday" would bring

the brightest stars

and the deepest talks

A little infinity

in our little amount

of time

And you are still

the only person

who can keep me together

when I am about to fall apart.