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🌟exist🌟 - Blog Posts
welcome to my blog, where 99% of the time you will probably not be getting the content you signed up for.
the reason of me still existing is my weakness, and the same thing is the reason of my unwillingness to live. my mom doesn’t need me because i’m ungrateful piece of shit just like my brother as she says, my dad just doesn’t really care. the only person that made my life better and happy, is the one whom i’m making miserable, and for whom it is hard to be with me p, not due me being piece of shit but because of his own problems and past. i don’t feel right now. i don’t feel alive. i don’t feel happy. i don’t feel care. coming from others nor from myself. i try to smile, every fucking day i try to fake it until i would make it, but on this planet shit doesn’t seem to work this way. i’m already dead, all flowers in my soul are intoxicated, and i’m going to be nothing, i feel nothing, i want nothing, i have nothing. nothing to loose. people for whom i could live, hope that i will die. i’m making everyone’s life miserable and i’m the first in the list of those people. i need pain, i love pain, because i could never fully appreciate happiness. i don’t know the price of anything im a piece of shit and nobody needs me, and i am so fucking weak i can’t even make a blessing for everyone and just fucking kill myself, i’m this kind of an awful person, i’m so weak i hate myself , i hate every muscle bone and organ that i have i should be hanged or killed by the worst kind of death ever i just hope it will happen soon and i just hope to die
Audi_🌴 I love my life 🚫 #nobe #alie #2016 #6 #17 #set #7dayz #8v #9th #start #exist #c #talk #feel #sea #line #newz #pro #give #yahoo #read #y @insta #phonesetup how far #canew #alk #nodamngiver #mo #ning #push
Everytime I see sniperspy, it's usually opposite teams, which is lovely but I also believe in same team sniperspy, because of this match I had while playing Sniper on Thunder Mountain. I was using the bullshit countries away sightline by the BLU spawn on the first stage, the one on the rocks. I can't see shit but I feel like every sniper needs to use a bullshit spot at least once in their life so I'm sticking to it. Though I can't hit shit. Anyway I hear a spy decloak behind me and I turn, ready to throw hands.
But the only spy there is my team's, and he's busy running to the fight. I feel like he glances at me a bit, but he's gone before I can think about it.
I feel silly but I figure he's just testing his cloak, because I don't hallucinate decloaks, not yet anyway. A few minutes later, and there it is again. Someone decloaks behind me. This time I turn and there is my spy, but he's acting very suspicious. Has a mask on and everything. I run over to rip him up, and he starts dancing around, dodging me and feinting. We're jumping around for at least a minute before I run right into and through him.
It's my fucking spy. I've been juggling around for the past minute with my own spy.
He realizes the jig is up and he looks at me for a long moment, probably laughing at me behind his impassive face, before he's running off to fight again.
I go back to sniping, feeling horribly embarrassed. I move around and eventually get caught by a scout. After coming out of spawn, I go to stand on the rocks again to check things out. Can you guess what happens next?
I hear a decloak behind me and I'm sure this time this is the enemy spy. It has to be. No way my spy would still be screwing with me this deep into the match. I turn, and yep, there's a spy, wearing a mask and everything. Knife at the ready, I take a few steps forward.. before I just stop.
I stare at this spy. He stares at me. I look at him for a looong moment before I grab my rifle back and turn around. He comes up to my side and I tense, because shit maybe it is actually the enemy spy, but the stab he hits to my side bounces right off.
My team's spy looks at me, opens up VC and chuckles, before telling me in this smooth, soft little voice, "Sniper you should move up. You're not gonna hit anybody from here."
And he runs off again. Bastard.
“Matter cannot be created nor destroyed, thus In the beginning there was nothing. From nothing I came, for which I am nothing. Perhaps I am something somewhere, at sometime, but certainly I am nothing nowhere. To which I will ultimately return to my nothingness. For if there is nothing, nothing is lost. Thus I morn no absence, because somewhere, perhaps we are together in our nothingness and not remanence of past energies that bonded then broke. I try to relish in my nothingness because somewhere I am with you and you are with me and we are endless, but it doesn’t change the fact that I am nothing and thus I feel nothing.
Because at one time, I felt everything.
I’ve come to the conclusion the everything and nothing must be the same, there is no beginning nor end to it, the line between must be blurred because I cannot recall when feeling everything became nothing.”
<3 Victoria-Grace
[formerly known as Lavender Grey]
I am not ready to lose this Not ready to discover another time Another time without you I am not willing to give you up Not willing to give up love the love which felt so safe I am not prepared to let you go Not prepared to move on move on and exist on my own Exist on my own on my own my own alone