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Intrusive Thoughts - Blog Posts
F***ing Chair
Izuku was best friends with his guidance counselor. Inko knew about Izuku’s mental health and Izuku had no problem speaking his mind. Izuku had been hospitalized on a number of occasions because he told Inko. The guidance counselor was aware of Izuku being open with his mom which lowered the stress of betraying Izuku’s trust.
Izuku was incredibly depressed and struggled to cope with the bullying. Being able to wear a facade all day was exhausting as well. It was nice to walk into the counselor’s office and vent. While Izuku was open, he did hide it around his mother. He didn’t want her to worry more than she already was. Seeing the school counselor was the only option considering therapy was far too expensive.
Izuku had Major Depressive Disorder, Social Phobia, Attention Deficit Disorder, and was showing signs of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder more and more with every encounter of bullying he endured. It was clear the physical and mental abuse he received day in and day out didn’t help. There was no escape when he came home. Cyberbullying was just as severe.
During lunch, milk had been pored all over Izuku. Much to everyones shock, Izuku slammed his book shut and stormed out of the cafeteria. Katsuki scowled, irritated by Izuku’s dramatic reaction. The brown haired bully jumped, not expecting the retaliation. The other bully watched him leave, bewhildered before smirking.
“Let’s get him while he’s in the locker room!”
Katsuki didn’t have a problem with it, wanting to put Izuku back in his place. The other bully tagged along, lauging about how he was going to mock Izuku. They chased after him.
When Izuku’s three bullies spotted him down the hall, his shoulders were tensed, a milk trail following him. His book bag was in one hand and his notebook in the other. There was something about the aura he was radiating that made them uneasy. Midoriya stormed right up to the guidance counselor’s office, threw open the door and let it out.
“Do you know how much I want to fucking pick up a fucking chair and smash it across their fucking face?”
Katsuki stopped in his tracks, eyes wide in surprise. That went straight to his dick.
“Shit. Izuku’s told on us?” whispered the long-finger bully.
“That’s what you’re worried about? He sounds like he wants to kill us,” exasperated the brown haired bully.
Katsuki had more concerns than that. In that split second, he came to the realization he knew nothing about Izuku. He didn’t know Izuku cursed. He never would’ve guessed Izuku got angry. Katsuki wondered if Izuku already was telling the adults at school, was he telling Inko? In a matter of seconds, he realized his entire future lies in Izuku’s hands. Something about that made him oddly hot, feeling flustered by the information.
The guidance counselor didn’t even sound surprised by his outburst. “Oh I know you do. Thankfully you didn’t do it.”
Izuku took a sharp breath before slamming the door behind him. The building shook from the force of the slam, causing the three to share a stunned look. They all crept to the door to listen, needing to know more.
“I’m leaving my stuff here. I’m going to the showers and I’ll be back. I’m skipping next period,” informed Izuku. His tone was sharp, unsteady, and clearly still holding a lot of rage.
The counselor shook her head, fixing her notebook’s position on the desk. “Very well. I’ll try and dry off your things while you clean up.”
“Thank you.”
“No problem kid.”
The bullies booked it to a janitors closet down the hall to avoid getting caught. Izuku came out a couple seconds later, fingers flying on the keypads on his phone. When he disappeared down the hall, the group chose to part their separate ways and head to class.
Katsuki sat at his desk with a scowl. He was frustrated by his feelings. As much as he wanted to hate Midoriya and unleash his rage to make up for extreme weakness he was feeling, he truly didn’t want to. There was some deep fondness resonating within him. He was terrified and that excited him.
Izuku reappeared a period later with a drained expression. His hair was dry, his clothes were completely changed, and his bag and notebook looked perfectly fine. While the trio were mad their stunt didn’t leave any long lasting damage, they were glad their actions didn’t cause him to be so pissed off that he’d kill them.
None of the idiots wanted to be hit in the fucking face by a fucking chair.
"Oh, I just love showing up where I'm not invited !!!"
My intrusive thoughts be like
Me: *doing nothing, maybe trying to go to sleep* My brain: Lol imagine if you were in a qpr with Roger from American Dad lmao
Me: …
Me: shut up.
randomly remembering its MY au and I can project onto it as much as I want to
and remembering I can draw as shitty as I want bc it's my OCD and not others entertainment (tw: bugs as intrusive thoughts)
So I've been looking into ocd recently and I gotta ask, how the heck did VIOLENT INTUSIVE THOUGHTS become 'yeah I'm such a neat freak uwu'
Please don't leave me alone, bc then my thoughts will take over and best believe I will carry thru with them intrusive ones
tell me if theres misinformation in here please, i used several sources but i could still be wrong
They are often less than a minor inconvenience.
I wipe them from my brow like sweat. Pluck them from my head like stray hairs. Toss them to the corners of my room.
The more persistent may take hold of my nerves.
I conjure imaginary fire to burn them away. Lock them and boxes and toss them from my window. Slap them from my skin like pesky bugs.
Only active movement can banish them. It's a temporary fix though. They still inch into my head waiting to pounce on me with violent scenes and repulsive images.
My thoughts aren't always my own, but my actions are.
The anger was just boiling up. I didn't know what to do with the excess water. It was overflowing the styrofoam cup and I needed to put it somewhere. I needed to throw something. I had to punch someone so hard it hurt me more than it ever hurt them. I grabbed my scalding cup and poured. A whispering drizzle ran down the hill side drilling into the dirt digging at the rocks breaking the dam of soil to bring forth a rushing river. Hurt yourself. I pounded my fist into my thigh. Hurt yourself. I scratched at my arm nails on a chalkboard. Hurt yourself. I didn't stop when I started bleeding. Hurt yourself. My skin was stuck under my nails. Hurt yourself. I was drowning head down in the deep waters so hot it was icy cold to the touch. Hurt yourself. I liked it. That hurt the most.
Further Sanders Sides Thoughts
Im getting the sense everyone's been hating their jobs recently, dont you?
some fun reasons:
Janus is shitty at citing sources that are reliable and up-to-date and no one listens to him cuz they think hes lying all the time
Logan's literally the voice of reason and hes not being listened to cuz feelings
Roman just gave up on his dream come true because
Patton is having a midlife crisis because his job just became a thousand times more difficult cuz Thomas is growing up
Remus well, most people still jsut dont like him, do they? and logan seems to be the only one (aside from maybe Janus because janus knows already) whos starting to see his role in helping Thomas
Virgil's fears and past grievances are stopping him from listening to the dark sides' points unbiased and openminded because they do make some DELICIOUS points
(gaining sentience is the biggest regret they all have, as so helpfully pointed out by Virgil in the review ep)
Th3 urg3 t0 scr34m d1stur61ng lyr1cs 1n pu6l1c 4r34s :3
TW Vent: about intrusive thoughts and mental health but on a good note at the end
Since yesterday, I actually decided to look into intrusive thoughts and read about them because as of recently I started to realize I do in fact have intrusive thoughts.
—-
To give some info, I’ve been undiagnosed for all my life, not because I was tested negative but because I never actually went to the doctor to get diagnosed. And let’s just say I had the hispanic childhood so yea I definitely have a lot of things undiagnosed.
And for the longest time, I tried not to label myself as anything because I thought it was very harmful to just say ‘I have this mental illness’ when I’ve never truly been diagnosed. I thought I would just look like I’m being a pick-me for the longest time.
But since then, I found out that being undiagnosed is completely understandable. And that I know me better then anyone and I’m allowed to analyze myself.
I’ve been seeing a lot of videos on my feed pointing out many of my symptoms and signs that I may have ADHD or more. And hilariously so, most of my friends, who either have been diagnosed with ADHD, Anxiety, and Autism, have pointed out how I can very much possibly be undiagnosed.
I’m more certain I have undiagnosed Anxiety and ADHD while I’m still unsure about Autism but I need to look more into that.
—-
Which now brings me to this topic that feels like a nail in the coffin, my unwanted intrusive thoughts.
Obviously I’ve heard of that word due to funny and serious tiktoks but I now found out that is exactly what I’ve been experiencing throughout my WHOLE LIFE. Down to elementary school. And sadly it has only gotten worse as I become a teen.
Whenever I have intrusive thoughts, I always feel disgusted, repulsed, and sickened by the thought of it. I had to live with the guilt that this was me being a sick-minded person and thinking these things were my fault. That it was me being a dirty-minded son of a bitch thinking these things as I constantly tried to push them back.
That was until I found out this was never the case. When I read that article about what intrusive thoughts were and what they weren’t. I cried, I cried in relief and bliss that it was never my fault.
I started looking more into Tiktoks and found that finally being reassured helped me feel so much better. I really needed to know that this was never some fucked up unconscious desires or truth about me but very much the opposite.
I really wanted to talk about this because it had made me feel so much better and just watching those tiktoks make me feel like I wasn’t alone and I cried again.
I know really feel the urge to just have Jonathan reassuring me about my unwanted intrusive thoughts lol.
Vent ends here on a happier note :)
Intrusive Thoughts are unwanted thoughts or images that you find distressing and/or disturbing.
more information on what intrusive thoughts are!
what intrusive thoughts are: https://moodsmith.com/intrusive-thoughts/
how to cope with them: https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/how-to/how-to-stop-intrusive-thoughts-and-live-your-life/
but what if (hypothetically) I wanna commit arson?
Should I just go vibe to some Hozier until the cringe thoughts dissipate?
loudly going "YOU'RE GOOD YOU'RE GOOD" to myself to ward off the memory of every embarrassing thing i've ever done
Sharing this here too
I do not usually make posts like this but recently I have seen a lot of content on Instagram, Twitter and I think tiktok too misunderstanding the meaning of intrusive thoughts, which may cause people experiencing them to be upset.
I have tried to shortly explain the difference of impulsive and intrusive and hope it will help people to understand and use the words correctly.
Reblogs are very much appreciated!
Intrusive Thought
Before anyone freaks out, that's not Huan. Now we know who won the genetic lottery.
I was just sitting at my desk, drowning in assignments and projects, when an intrusive thought just bonked my brain. So, have this very messy sketch of what Huan's mom looks like.
Check the tags
hello anxiety, my old friend
i’ve come to talk with you again
Wander Over Yonder but I make up the episodes
The Remus saga on my Tiktok
What's your body count ?
Intrusive Thoughts
As someone who deals with intrusive and unwanted thoughts daily, i wanna clear up something to those who suffers from intrusive thoughts too. So, first of all i wanna say getting intrusive thoughts will NOT hinder your manifestation until and unless you allow them to. Don't worry when you get an intrusive or unwanted thought. Whenever you get an intrusive thought, don't forcefully suppress them, it will only make them worse. Instead, don't focus on that intrusive thought at all. Always remember that your 3D is the projection of your DOMINANT thoughts. Only the things which you're most focused on manifests. So whenever you get an intrusive thought, don't worry, it won't affect your manifestation if you don't think about it continuosly. Whenever any intrusive thoughts comes is, don't panic, just take few deep breaths, calm your mind and slowly let the thoughts go and make sure to NOT think anything about that. Remind yourself that these intrusive and negative thoughts won't affect me whatsoever. Remind yourself, you're the most powerful person here.
if you have violent intrusive thoughts I love you. if you have sexual intrusive thoughts I love you. if you have bigoted intrusive thoughts I love you. you are not your thoughts and you are worthy of love and care and help and affection. you are not a monster you’re a person going through it and that’s okay
Recently saw an insta vid where a musician was singing lyrics that described their intrusive thoughts as a person with OCD, and in the comments every so often there would be people writing like "bro what is this 🤨🤨" and "keep this between you and your therapist dont post it on the internet" and it just further fueled my belief that OCD symptoms and intrusive thoughts need to be talked about more because a majority of the struggle with the disorder is the shame surrounding its symptoms. OCD is not able to be easily romanticized or 'quirky'fied like other disorders or neurodivergencies have been*, and as a result its symptoms are more quickly met with disgust or repulsion.
Other people in the comments were thanking OP because it captured the struggle of real intrusive thoughts instead of impulsive ones. Impulsive thoughts are more of the 'I'm gonna dye my hair randomly on a thursday night' thoughts vs the intrusive 'what if I drove my car into that family and suddenly killed us both' thoughts, the latter of which make OCD as a disorder truly debilitating. And the people that immediately assign bad morals to intrusive thoughts? They only further condemn people with OCD to never wanting to talk about the symptoms they've already been struggling with shame about.
I feel it needs to be made more blatantly explained to the public that OCD intrusive thoughts aren't desire based. They're fear and disgust based. You fear hurting anyone so badly your mind can't stop thinking about what if you hurt someone. You fear molesting anyone so you never want to even touch anyone. Your mind fixates on the 'what ifs' and distorts them into the idea that, because you think this way, you must want to act this way--when the reality is the exact opposite.
If a person with OCD ever confides to you one of their intrusive thoughts and you feel a knee-jerk reaction of disgust towards them, it needs to be reiterated that:
1. the person does not want to be thinking about this, their brain is legit hardwired to make those thoughts pop up
2. the person themselves also feels this disgust, often intensely, and they very likely resent themselves for ever thinking it
and
3. they have no desire to enact the intrusive thought, because its intrusive nature hinges on the person's fears and dislikes.
*And to clarify what I mean by romanticization and 'quirk'-ifying, I do not mean to imply that romanticizing any disorder or condition is inherently a good thing. It's only to state that conditions like anxiety and ADHD have been made such common/'trendy' topics recently that they're less taboo to speak about--leading to more people talking about their struggles with it, and helping others realize they might have it too and aren't alone. Because certain OCD traits aren't as marketable (obviously) a lot of those with it are left rather isolated.
[Image ID: A white background with black text with red shadows "Intrusive thoughts can" (can being all red text) "and will" (will being in all red text) "be about anything." The next points are bulleted out in a list in black text. "There is NO limit to what they can be about whatsoever. They WILL be about things you don't want them to be about by DEFINITION. NO topic is evil or weird enough to be exempt. NONE. NO LINE IS DRAWN. THE SUBCONSCIOUS DOES NOT STOP. It MAY make you uncomfortable to hear about and that DOES NOT give you an excuse to be fucking ableist about it. They cannot be controlled, you cannot expect people to try. They are NOT indicative of someone's true wishes or feelings. REPREMINANDING SOMEONE FOR HAVING THE "WRONG" INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS WILL ONLY MAKE THEM WORSE, ESPECIALLY FOR SOMEONE WITH OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER. Lastly, in large black text at the bottom of the image is big red text that reads "YOU ARE NOT BETTER THAN SOMEONE WITH INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS YOU FIND GROSS OR MORALLY REPREHENSIBLE. YOU ARE NOT BETTER THAN SOMEONE WHOSE INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS DO NOT MAKE SENSE TO YOU, EVEN IF YOU EXPERIENCE INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS OF YOUR OWN. IT IS A SYMPTOM THAT CAUSES ENOUGH SUFFERING ON ITS OWN. DON'T JOIN IT." End ID]
For this Disability Pride Month, I saw a post that was shittybad and it made me angry. So have this
I think you'd like this story: "The dilemma of Howard land Beach" by Nyabinghi22 on Wattpad https://www.wattpad.com/story/391947544?utm_source=android&utm_medium=com.tumblr&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=Nyabinghi22