Matthewgoode - Blog Posts

(Completely Unofficial) Morck Merch. We need some.

Lazaar’s Backstory

Don’t mind me - just over here daydreaming about Lazaar’s backstory. Again. I blame @asgoodeasgold for this particular version: she posted a fab interview of about MG’s Wickham and I went down an Abigail x Death Comes to Pemberley rabbit hole 🐇.

Who knows why.

📷 Silly photo mashup above made from screenshots of Death Comes to Pemberley (still currently available on Netflix - hurrah!) and MG’s interview with PBS on YouTube (thanks @asgoodeasgold for posting): https://youtu.be/AWZn_0FGSMg?si=8N8uTs5Jc78G4UIo 📷

Chapter 21 of the Visitor explains how Lazaar might have ended up at the gallows. It’s historically inaccurate and completely implausible, but it’s just for fun. Thank good(e)ness.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/58121329

Kawaii Vamps - Abigail Style

❤️🧛🧛‍♀️❤️ (made these using Procreate - borrowed the epic characters from Abigail 2024 - obvs!)

I was today years old when I learnt that Abigail means ‘my father’s joy’. Too clever for me. But now I love this little detail. It got me thinking about Lazaar’s relationship with Abigail and, although we know he’s not the best father 😅, I thought he might have bought her one of these jewellery boxes. The original is from Giggle and Honey on Amazon and I just faffed around with it on Procreate. I’d love to make a real one 🎨🖌️

📷 Jewellery box from Giggle and Honey; still from the film from @asgoodeasgold 📷

Lazaar ✍️

Still a work in progress but this is what I’ve managed so far today. Drawn using various brushes on Procreate - mainly from the amazing Laura H Rubin.

Also updated The Visitor on AO3 🧛❤️

If vampire cuddles were real… 🖤

Been practising drawing on Procreate today. Here’s Joey and Lazaar again because I’m still daydreaming about that sequel, having watched Abigail again this weekend.

Here’s also the mood board of beautiful images I used as a reference and the first sketch. Ended up with 30 layers. Probably a bit excessive but I’m still working it all out.

Have added a chapter 4 to The Visitor on AO3 too. Don’t seem to be getting over this ship any time soon! 🧛❤️🖤🩶

Lazaar ponders Joey

An Abigail-inspired photo edit. 📷 Originals by Phil Fisk (MG), Joe Pugliese (MB) and me (my car window). 📷

There’s a chapter about this on AO3. I’m not sure it really fits but I just wanted to write it, so there you go. (Trying to focus on the fun of the process, rather than overthink the finished product. After all, it’s all just for fun.)

This song, which I found afterwards, is perfect for the mood I was getting at. Lazaar certainly ‘slithered here from Eden’. What a sin indeed. Thank you, Hozier.

Mood: Lazaar / languor

Refusing to do his vampire thing. And driving Ana to distraction. Imaginary, inexpert edits on an Abigail theme.

Wrote a little bit to go with these on AO3. It waffles. It’s undercooked or overcooked. A bit much or not enough. Can’t really decide. But - happily - it’s just for fun.

Edits above using Procreate ✍️

📷 Beautiful original photos (below) by Iain McKell, Phil Fisk and Joe Gillespie. Dress is from Reformation. 📷

Abigail Epilogue (continued… still!)

A very quick bit of imaginary Joey and Lazaar photo faffing fun, as I continue to daydream about an epilogue to Abigail 2024.

Below are the shots I used (MG by Phil Fisk which I found on the Guardian website, MB for Harper’s Bazaar/Clinique and a stock photo from dreamstime). I messed around with and added to them on Procreate. Not very well but you get the idea, I hope. Just for fun, as usual.

⬆️ Mørck and Rachel Fan Scribbles (rushed and imperfect but tried to capture the feelz) based on some photo edits I did a while ago. The idea is that Carl and Rachel end up in a beachfront cafe after a windswept walk. The photo edits below are how it starts and the Procreate sketch above is where it’s heading…

The (improbable) scenario rambled on a bit a lot so I put it on AO3. Still wondering what these two characters will be like; hoping they’ll lead us on a merry dance; still hoping for some sneak peeks from Netflix soon. ☺️

Quick tonal study of MG (tried very hard to stick to 2.5hr time limit over two days). He’s such an obliging subject with all those beautiful lines and angles 😍 and perfect for practising with 🩶🖤🤍 I love the expression in the reference photo and the fact it’s in profile. I tried to capture his understated-but-OMG-smile and butterfly-inducing vibe, whilst trying very hard not to envy the person he’s looking at like that.

In terms of my learning journey, I started by trying to identify the different values in the reference (pop art style), played with some filters, then had a whale of a time with the smudging tool and then, for the detail, I tried to use techniques I’d read about in Laura H. Rubin’s brilliant book ‘Of Strokes and Shades’, as well as experimented with some of her texture brushes. Tried hard not to overfaff with it, as that way madness lies… but it’s difficult to walk away when there are lots of bits that need work. Ah well, perfect excuse to find my next piece of inspiration!

📷 Original edit I used as a reference is posted above (which I found on the feed of the legendary @pleasereadmeok - I think?! if I can add further details, please let me know as now I can’t find the original link and can’t read the print in my screenshot - sorry). 📷

Yep, I’m still daydreaming about Lazaar. And having fun drawing him on Procreate. Tried the brilliant tutorial by Laura Rubin, in her book, and some of her fab skin brushes. I ended up overworking it (as usual 🙄) and doesn’t massively look like him BUT I was trying to capture the mood and that look.

Talking of that look,

…here’s a little photo edit of who he’s looking at (in my mind anyway 😜):

And here’s one of the beautiful original edits by @asgoodeasgold that I used as a reference 😍:

And here’s a rambling chapter which features that look:

Overcooked and nonsensical, as usual, but it’s just for fun so who cares?! 🧛❤️

Portrait Practice - Work in progress (MG, obvs)

My summer goal is to try drawing portraits. Obviously, I’m also using this as an excuse important opportunity to stare at Matthew Goode.

I always hated drawing portraits but I love looking at them. I’d get so frustrated and usually ended up putting them in the bin or ruining the paper with rubbing out. Haven’t even tried one for many years. BUT drawing digitally has massively reduced my frustration levels as it’s so easy to make alterations, so 🤞 I can stick with this.

I’m finding two particular resources useful this week: Jake Spicer’s article in Artist and Illustrator Magazine (September issue), as well as his Insta feed, and ‘Portraits with Procreate’ by Melissa de Nobrega (which I bought with a gift voucher from my birthday 🎁).

I’d never really thought about tonal shapes before, so this is what I’m practising this week. Here are some progress shots (using layers on Procreate):

We’ve been joking about yellow filters 😂 but I actually might change the yellow. Not sure about it. Although it rocks with the mauves and dull pinks.

I used the grid method for the outlines and a tiny bit of tracing for the tricky parts. This is obviously cheating but my spatial awareness is shocking and I’m just having fun, so I’m cool with that.

I don’t want it to be in a realistic style (thankfully 😂) but I struggle with letting go and adopting a different style, even when drawing plants or animals. I think I’m a copier rather than a creative spirit when it comes to drawing. So we’ll see. I love Jake Spicer’s style. The benefit of Procreate is I’ll be able to experiment…

… and continue to stare at MG as Matthew Roydon (one of my favourite of his incarnations) 😍

💛🩶🖤 Lazaar and Joey 4EVA (in my mind at least) 🖤🩶💛

Inspired by some of the amazing Good Omens fan art out there, I experimented with a different style and a new (MaxPacks) brush set in Procreate. This sketch is intended to capture loving a vampire - not knowing if he’s going to bite you or kiss you… and feeling happy either way 😜 Still not over Lazaar and Joey, evidently 😂

Added some yellow options especially for @asgoodeasgold because she LOVES a yellow filter 😜😬🙃

📷 References used: screenshot edit by @asgoodeasgold (below) and photo on Melissa Barrera’s instagram 📷

Dear Funko Pop,

Please will you make us a Lazaar figure (Abigail 2024) for Halloween? Here’s a mockup using Seamus Finnigan #65. Go on… it would be fun!

Thank you 🙏 🎃,

A big fan

X

PS I have no idea how you actually spell his name so you’ll have to work that out. 🤨

⬆️ (my bedside table/nightstand goals) 📷 original edit from @asgoodeasgold 📷

⬆️ Fan Photo Collage using extract from A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness and stills from the TV Show

My favourite book in the whole world. Ever.

I was out and about yesterday and found a well-loved copy of ‘A Discovery of Witches’ in the local train station book swap.

⬆️ A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness (p175)

Part of me wanted to leave it for someone else to discover the absolute magic (literal and figurative) of it; part of me was delighted with the connective sign from the universe and part of me grabbed it with both hands as I’ve lent my copy out and am really missing it. I delved into it straight away and got wonderfully lost for the entire train journey.

To celebrate, I edited together a little extract (p175), just for fun, which tries to capture the delectable sensory overload to be found in the writing and the show itself. Can’t really put into words how much I love it.

‘MG espresso’ 🎶☕️ MG X Sabrina Carpenter

📷 original photo by Uli Weber and original lyrics by Sabrina Carpenter 🎶

⬆️ Big cup, little cup ☕️☕️ - ❤️❤️ using Procreate ✍️ just for fun 🎡

Still imagining that Abigail epilogue? Yes, I am.

In my mind, this is Joeys’s house. She has a visitor, as you can see 🧛🔍🖤

⬆️ (enjoying the luminance brushes on Procreate a little too much 😂)

📷 Fan art photo collaging using Procreate - photo of MG from ADOW - photo of MB by Luis de la Luz - stock/my own photos of garden furniture, foliage, house, etc. 📷

And there’s an imaginary scenario (for @cecipaez-blog1 ). I don’t own the characters, I haven’t properly studied the film, I have no idea what I’m talking about, really: it’s just for fun 🎡.

——————————————

A Visitor - Part 2 - Ready or Not

— imaginary mini epilogue to Abigail (2024) featuring Joey/Ana and Lazaar —

You often feel like you’re being watched. It’s a hazard of your line of work and the questionable company you keep. But tonight, as you clear away the debris of an evening with friends in your backyard, the feeling is palpable.

You pause to listen and gauge the sensation. The fairy lights strung overhead dance slightly in a warm swirl of summer air, making the shadows below you throb in and out of focus. A wind chime twinkles, with slight menace, from the garden next door.

Get a grip, you tell yourself.

Get inside and lock the door, your body tells itself.

Just as you have composed yourself and are about to continue the clean up job, a clear, luxuriant voice cuts through the warm night air behind you.

“Not interrupting anything, I hope?”

Your movement slows as immediately you identify the speaker. You straighten and speak his name:

“Lazaar.”

You are surprised by the evenness of your tone, when your pulse seems to feel the exact opposite.

You turn and, with another rush of the tepid breeze, he emerges from the shadow of a tree. His hands are in his pockets. His posture is soft. But his stare is far from it. He walks slowly towards you, enquiringly.

“I had friends over for dinner,” you gesture towards the empty pizza boxes piled in your arms and the beer bottles which clink together in your clawed fingers.

He nods and his gaze flickers towards the house.

“Everyone left,” you find yourself needlessly reassuring him.

“I see.”

You can’t quite see if he’s smirking but it feels as though he might be. As he observes the clutter in your arms, the movement of his eyes is languid and appraising. “May I?” he reaches towards the empty bottles to relieve you slightly of your load.

You’re taken aback by the offer, but agree, “Sure.”

As the bottles are transferred, you notice his nostrils flare. You realise he’s trying to ascertain what kind of company you have kept. His brow smoothes and you assume he is satisfied by his investigations; it was, after all, a girls’ night in.

Without being asked, he walks over to the bin store and deposits the bottles in the correct one. Returning to take the pizza boxes from your arms, he repeats the process. You observe that you find this bizarrely incongruous show of domesticity wildly attractive.

As he saunters back towards you, he looks at the open door to the house. You stand there wondering if you are actually going to invite a vampire into your home.

“Why are you here, Lazaar?” The question emerges low and slow into the sultry air. You didn’t mean it to sound so provocative but you’re coming to realise you have little control around this man. Creature. Fantasy figure.

The piercing gaze is on you now. The vampire looks slightly agitated by your question. You watch as he steels himself and sits down upon the garden wall. He shrugs:

“I find that you…” his gaze drops to his hands, “you… are on my mind.”

You take a deep breath to quell the lilting, fizzing sensation rising within you. You note the unassuming nature of his posture as he sits on the wall, deliberately metres away from you. Yet this calculatedly unthreatening stance does nothing to mask his agitation.

Numbed and blurred slightly by the moderate amount of beer you’ve consumed, you probe your instincts more carefully. You find there is no fight or flight here. No threat. You feel the same submissive calm of a few nights ago when you saw him in his garden. The same curiosity. The same heady lurch of your insides when he so much as looks at you.

“Ditto,” you hear yourself say, with a slight smile.

The look that now passes his features is positively devilish and you witness his first genuine smile at you in return.

But the warmth of the moment curdles instantly. You gasp as you notice the uniformity and whiteness of his teeth. They look normal and far from razor-sharp. A wave of nausea resonates with the shock pulsing through your body.

“Your mouth…” you breathe, your fingers finding your own lips by way of explanation.

His smile fades and he moves towards you but stops abruptly when you recoil.

“You’re not…” you breathe and your heart begins to thump as confusion and panic flood your senses, “you’re not in your true form. This - this isn’t you. It’s just an illusion… what are you doing? What game are you playing? Why are you here? I think you should…”

“Ana…” he interrupts, his voice gentle but stricken, “Ana, it’s all right…”

“I must be crazy. What the f*ck was I thinking…,” your mouth is dry and your legs are shaking as you try to back further towards the house.

“Ana, please,” his palms are raised in surrender as he takes two more cautious steps towards you. As the moonlit shadows slide over his features, you watch his face transform into something more familiar. His pupils darken until void of all light, his irises take on an ethereal glow and his fangs become clearly visible beneath a snarling lip.

Your heart stills as you realise that this sight, which should terrify you, has in fact achieved the opposite effect.

“There now…” he soothes, the old-worldly timbre chiming again in his voice. He tilts his face up to catch the moonlight further.

Otherwise he remains very still. Waiting. Watching.

His breath is patchy and you can see the anguish in his eyes.

“Why did you change?” your voice is unsteady, as though you might cry.

“My form… I can... I wanted to be something less alarming… more palatable… more safe.” His brow furrows and his lips close firmly. In the moonlight, you notice a muscle ticking in his jawline.

His vulnerability in this moment is exquisite.

“I did it for you,” he murmurs and this dissolves your doubt as swiftly as it had appeared.

“Well don’t,” you fold your arms but take two steps towards him, “don’t do that again.” your voice softens.

“I shan’t,” he bows his head reverently and relief floods through his tone.

When he lifts his head again, his gaze is searching, “But I want to take the form that you desire.”

The last word rips through you, quite literally, and he speaks again:

“How do you want me to be, Ana?”

⬆️ Fan-Photo-Art-Collage-Faffing-Around (still!) imagining an epilogue to Abigail (2024)

This imaginary mini epilogue scenario for Abigail (2024) popped into my head (can’t seem to shift Lazaar this week). Joey goes back to the house after a week or so. I know that really she wouldn’t go back… and if she did, she’d likely be 💀 BUT happily this isn’t real and I’m a hopeful romantic. Especially when there are vampires who look like Matthew Goode involved. Even in a horror film. It seems. Unwise, perhaps. But just for fun 🎡.

—————————————————————

(Imaginary) Mini Epilogue - A Visitor

— Characters are not mine (obvs): they are borrowed from the writers of Abigail (2024) —

When every self-protective instinct in your body begs you to fly but you don’t.

When you feel yourself submitting and you know that’s all part of it.

The plan.

Whose plan?

Is it his plan? Or was it yours when you returned here to this godforsaken place?

Has it been your plan since the moment you first felt his crisp touch on your skin?

Physically, you might be in turmoil but there’s no mental unrest here. Only serene, sacrificial curiosity.

And white-hot desire.

He’s studying you now. Pondering your reappearance. But it is not yet the look of a hunter appraising his prey. There’s a wisp of gentleness in the air between you.

“Ana,” he rumbles, with a depth that rattles through your chest.

He knows your name. Your real one at that. Did he ask? Was he told? What did they say about you? The fact that you’ve had air time in their family life brings a slight smile to your face. Abigail squeezes your hand, which you’d forgotten was holding hers in the moment he appeared, silently beneath the trees, out of the tepid dark air.

The vampire doesn’t know what to do with a smile from you. Yet. His chin recoils slightly and his eyes narrow.

“You’re here,” he observes. The old-worldly way he pronounces the second word widens your smile.

He looks to Abigail for an explanation of your presence - long past dusk, in their garden - but the girl simply shrugs and returns his steely stare.

“I came to check up on Abigail,” you hear yourself asserting as your focus is drawn to his hands adjusting the collar on his fawn cashmere sweater, exposing the pale skin of his neck.

He glances down towards his feet, suppressing a scowl that you suspect is defensive and guilt-ridden; you can’t feel the anger he emanated the last time you met.

“Ah,” he raises his magnetic gaze and your breath stops as you register gratitude in his expression.

His head still bowed towards you, he massages the back of his neck with slender fingers. You contemplate how he smells, right there, at the base of his hairline.

“Very well,” he nods and you feel Abigail squeeze your hand once more.

The vampire bows slightly lower, turns and begins to walk back towards the house. You watch his retreat appreciatively, his tall frame stalking across the darkened lawn, his overcoat billowing at the mercy of his long strides. You know that, once he’s safely shrouded in the shadows of the house, he’ll turn back to look at you.

And you wonder what the next move will be.

📷 photos above faffed around with using Procreate (my current obsession); I think if I were to start again from scratch I’d just use a straight-up Lazaar screenshot as I struggled to make MG as MDCM into him - think I need to elongate his face or something and then obviously there’s the mouth - but I learnt a lot by trying - and it’s all just for fun/ to express an idea so perfection’s unnecessary, I say. Original screenshots/ photos below - please let me know if the MG one is your edit and I’ll add credit; I saved it without any intention of using it (besides appreciating his withering side eye) but then this idea popped into my head and now I can’t find where I got it. Sorry ❤️📷

You became the light on the dark side of me. 🥀

(OK, OK, I know it’s too much but I just couldn’t resist this last little edit. I shall engage in more serious pursuits henceforth.) 🥀🖤🧛

📷 Screenshot of MG as Lazaar in Abigail (2024) and original photo of MB by Luis de la Luz; dead rose photo by yours truly 😂🥀; edited together using Procreate; just for fun, really! 📷

I just can’t get you out of my head.

Kristof Lazaar.

(Boy, your lovin’ is all I think about.)

—————————————

🧛🖤🥀 Lazaar and Joey photo faffing 🥀❤️🧛‍♀️

📷 using Procreate to edit screenshots from the film Abigail for MG and photo of MB by Luis de La Luz; rose stickers from PicCollage 📷

Here is the version Joey keeps in her scrapbook (and yes of course she keeps a scrapbook):

And this one (below) ended up looking like some creepy/weird/ironic/macabre couple’s photoshoot, so I’m including it for amusement purposes 😂 Lazaar should be holding a rose or something. Maybe I’ll do that later. Maybe they’ll get it framed… in my mind 🖼️.

⬆️ and some roses, dying obligingly on my table right now 🥀😅

⬆️ imaginary scenario fan photo faffery; photo edits using Procreate

Digestif?

This (imaginary photo edit) is how I’d like to see the epilogue to Abigail go. In case anyone else would too.

Crikey bobs, Melissa Barrera is beautiful 😍

📷 photos from screenshots and Harper’s Bazaar/Clinique 📷 edited and faffed with using Procreate. Just for fun 🎡

Filter fun:

mixed media fan-art-photo-faffing - just for fun

Dinner time?

Fan Art/photo faffing made with Procreate using screenshots from the film Abigail. Could still use a bit of work but you get the picture, hopefully. My head is full of vampires (again) following the release of The Black Bird Oracle 🧛❤️

⬆️ Fan-art-photo-faffing for Department Q; Carl Mørck (played by MG) at a Greasy Spoon - Part 3; all made up/just for fun whilst we patiently await the show

Let’s call this ‘Variations on an MG-string’ - Mørck’s mood from cool to warm to abso-bloody-lutely (re: Mona/Rachel, of course). This series of edits imagines a meeting between Carl and Rachel at a beachfront cafe after a windswept walk. Perhaps it’s Portobello Beach. Perhaps it’s a date. Or could turn into a date. Who knows.

📷 ⬆️ Original photos/screenshots by Uli Weber, @asgoodeasgold and from Downton BTS 📷 Edited using Procreate 🖌️🎨

Hurry up Netflix and give us some info so I can stop overthinking it! 😂 Can’t wait!

⬆️ Fan-art-photo-faffery using Procreate - photos of MG and KM edited just for fun to make them Carl and Rachel on a Department Q theme as I read the books

That cheered Carl up at least 🙃

There is a scenario for this somewhere in my addled brain. But, for now, let’s just guess what’s tickled him. I love MG’s cheeky grin in the @asgoodeasgold screenshot. Can’t wait to see what he does with Carl Mørck. I think I’ve said that before… 😂

I’m enjoying messing around on Procreate again. Photoshop would probably be the better platform but I’d need to take some serious lessons. Maybe in the summer holidays.

⬆️ Original photos (not mine; borrowed and played around with just for fun). From @asgoodeasgold, Getty (?) and whynow.co.uk

[90s filter just had to be done for the legendary Kelly]

Carl’s trying (and failing) to enjoy a cup of tea in a greasy spoon on the beachfront. Who’s sitting opposite him, I wonder… 🤔

📷 Photo faffing (imperfect and just for DQ fun) - original photo of MG by Uli Weber for Style Italia and of the greasy spoon from whynow.co.uk blog 📷

Fan Art - Carl Mørck - Department Q (using Procreate)

Carl Mørck in his beautifully brooding glory. This Procreate sketch/paint tries to capture my love for this character, the amazing Department Q books and the beautiful Matthew Goode, who will be playing him on Netflix. Hurrah.

Based on a photo from the Hackett SS24 Campaign, as seen on @asgoodeasgold feed on Instagram. Sketched first and then faffed around with different brushes and effects. A Mørck Metamorphosis, you might call it 🙃 Can’t wait for the Netflix series.

Saturdays are for sketching. Sketching Matthew Goode, to be precise. My spatial awareness is worse than useless so I used a photo to get the outlines/proportions [see below] and then messed about with filling in using various brushes in ProCreate. Cheating really. Got carried away adding more hair because @asgoodeasgold has officially declared this to be Windswept Weekend with her epic, rugged reel from this morning. Also because I’m reading Department Q (have I mentioned that already?!) and am Carl Mørck obsessed 😂

The sketches aren’t finished - set myself a one hour time limit. I always over-faff sketching and so I’m trying to practise getting the impression of something/someone and then moving on before ruining it.

📷 Original photo from Hackett SS24 campaign as posted by @asgoodeasgold on Instagram 📷

⬆️ Photo-collage-fan-faffery / the wanderings of my mind as I read the Department Q books

Windswept scenario - Department Q

Above is another (imaginary) candid snap of ‘The Carl and Rachel dance’. It’s early on in the dance - book 2 ish - at the point when the screenwriters have forced them together on the beach (somehow?!) and there’s such a vibe: he’s definitely interested but she still needs a lot of convincing. It’s a bright day but breezy and stickily, saltily damp; the sea spray is everywhere and the fresh air is electric between them. They’re asked to pose for a photo (who knows why?!) and Carl leaps at the opportunity to put his arm around her. It’s a touch - a contact - that’s not happened before. The warmth of him makes her stomach churn deliciously and she dips her gaze and smiles at the realisation. The camera catches the moment. Then the contact is broken. They look coyly - sideways and both suppressing smirks - at each other before continuing along the beach with the rest of the group.

[Cut to some dark, harrowing kidnap scenes - this is a thriller after all].

—

In the books, Adler-Olsen gives only the most tantalising glimpses of ‘The Dance’ between these two. Hence my ramblings 😂 I wonder how the dynamic will pan out in the show. Towards the end of Department Q Book 1 in Carl’s internal monologue, he confesses to being ‘crazy’ about her, despite her wearing a wedding ring (which is later removed). Adler-Olsen leaves us to guess what changes her mind eventually. But if Carl Mørck looks like Matthew Goode it’s not that much of a mystery, is it? 😂🫠

📷 Original pics from @asgoodeasgold (I’m so envious that these are actually your pictures I could cry) and Wikipedia; faffed around with, inexpertly, by me 📷

Photo collage/edit (see previous post)

“He drew her towards him, holding her so tightly not even a blade of grass could get in between. She really was exceptionally gorgeous, fragrant and appetising almost beyond belief.”

~ Jussi Adler-Olsen, Guilt (Department Q Book 4, translated by Martin Aitkin)

These are actual words in the book about the Carl and Mona/Rachel dance. And it’s not the only time Carl thinks about how good she smells. Just saying. For anyone who needed to know. 😂