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Lily: we literally just met??
Remus: I would die for you.
Lily: .. (me too)
Remus: *closes a cabinet*
*a crash is heard behind the cabinet door*
Lily: What was that?
Remus: The sound of someone else's problem.
james and remus watching sirius and regulus fight because one stared at the other for a bit too long.
james: i don’t get why those two are so angry all the damn time.
remus: short people are closer to hell.
*sirius struggling in the kitchen at 3 am.*
remus: what’s going on, love?
sirius: trying to rip the slutty little fishnets off my damn oranges.
james: sirius is about to come home from his third date any minute now.
regulus: third date? with the same guy? did he talk during the first two?
james: yeah no, i’m as shocked as you are.
james: *holding up his smudged glasses* reg, darling, can you get me something to clean my glasses with?
regulus: sure. *stands up and walks over to sirius, rips his shirt off his back, and gives the torn piece to james*
james: *cleaning his glasses* thank you, my love.
sirius and remus texting:
sirius: i love you, stay safe! <33
remus: will do, i love you too abby. <3
remus: baby*
*sirius black is typing…*
remus: oh god, here we go again…
the marauders are at a party.
sirius: *shit-faced drunk, dancing horribly on a table.*
remus: *sighing* love is blind.
james: *also shit-faced drunk, singing horribly on a makeshift stage.*
regulus: *facepalming* love is also deaf…tone-deaf.
*at james and regulus’ wedding*
everyone: aw, look at sirius, he’s gone to the back, he’s probably crying.
sirius: *dancing his little heart out because he no longer has to deal with james’ snoring or regulus’ 3 am epiphanies.*
the marauders (and their incorrect quotes writer) are very engrossed in the depp heard trial.
everyone here is team depp! (you might wanna check on snivvy though, he might be team heard. but hey! you didn’t hear it from us!)
regulus: care to explain what happened pour moi?
james: uh- oui oui, so i had a little too much café on an empty túmmy, so i had a - how do you say - panique attaque.
the marauders as the types of people you’d see on eid day! (eid at the prongs household)
wakes everyone up at 6am bc family is coming over: james.
is having the time of their life cooking in the kitchen or making all kinds of desserts: peter
spends HOURS getting ready, so they have to be woken up extra early: sirius and marlene.
gets dragged by their feet to go to eid prayers: sirius
“give me the fucking money” : remus and regulus.
hands out money in cute little envelopes: mary and lily.
uses a money shooter and enjoys watching the battle royale as everyone dives to the ground to collect as much money as possible: sirius and regulus // euphemia and fleamont.
steals all the money from the kids: dorcas.
sirius tricked james into telling him about his relationship with regulus, regulus isn’t happy.
regulus: first things first, james here is a fucking idiot, and if he tells you anything fucking different he’s a liar and a fucking snake.
regulus: *smacks james on the forehead*
regulus: fuck you.
sirius black had way too much fun with his name.
making an entrance: “sirius black is sirius back!”
confused: “sirius black is siriusly blank…”
hungry: “sirius black wants a sirius snack.”
bout to throw hands: “sirius black will siriusly attack.”
under pressure: “sirius black will sirius crack.”
back from a dentist appointment gone well: “sirius black has no sirius plaque.”
bought a new bag: “sirius black has a new sirius sack.”
the list goes on…and it only gets weirder.
regulus: james, if you didn’t sleep last night then i’m very sorry, i was thinking about you.
james, distracted by a triangle shaped grape: …the illuminati have taken over the grape industry.
james: what’s the shadiest thing you’ve ever seen someone do?
remus: turn a bunch of kids into werewolves, just to start an army.
lily: being prejudiced against half-bloods and muggle borns whilst being a half-blood themselves.
sirius: try to conceive for years, then become abusive to the very kids they were dying to have.
james: o-oh, i was just gonna say nick my sweaters right after they said that their fashion sense is nothing like mine…
regulus: i never said, nor did such a thing.
james walks in on wolfstar.
james: bro, are you fucking serious?
sirius: i can confirm that i am, indeed, fucking sirius.
remus: *peeks his head out from under the covers*
remus: and i can also confirm that i am, indeed, fucking sirius.
headcanon 1 about the potter brothers:
sirius finding out he was fruity, and immediately panicking, thinking of the worst case scenario of how james would react and how he might lose his brother.
————————————————
james finding out he was fruity, and immediately pulling out a checklist labeled “things sirius and i have in common.” and checking the “sexuality” box. then rushing over to tell sirius because he’s so excited to have something new to bond with his brother over.
james is bringing sirius back home after a blood test.
sirius: *walks in happily with a lollipop in his mouth*
remus: i take it that the blood test went well?
james: he was in and out of that chair in exactly one minute!
sirius: yeah! and no biting this time, not even attempted biting!
headcanon:
sirius black LOVES $uicideboy$ and listens to them religiously.
sirius also keeps a shrine for ruby and $crim right next to the shrine he made for himself.