There's Two Wolves Inside Me When I'm Writing Fanfic:

hearing bird noises in the forest compels me to smile, to do a jig in my soul, to stroll with the gaiety of a man reborn

conversely hearing my phone buzz compels me to rot like half a potato fallen behind the stove

yet my ears subject me to both with the same cold efficiency. we live in a fallen world indeed

me, after setting an arbitrary time limit for a wip: what nonsense is this?! how could I ever finish in this time frame?! might as well give up and do it never! never I say!

it's that time of night everyone! time to sort thru memories from the day and file them away as either normal or horrendously embarrassing

aaaannnd don't wanna spoil anything but let's just say the normal folder is gonna be pretty fucking thin

can't sleep. too many thoughts abt all my many plans. what to wear tomorrow. shoes maybe? ugh

pleased to see everyone has good toilet etiquette in Luthadel

was recently told I giggle in my sleep. lowkey pisses me off cause the only dreams I ever remember having are nightmares so idk what the fuck asleep-me has to be laughing about

me: *peeling potatoes in the sink*

my ancestors: ah, some things never change :)

me: *turns on garbage disposal*

my ancestors: D:

when I was a kid, I had this weird fear that one day I would wake up to find that the last few years of my life were a dream and I was like a toddler again

I'm sure you can all imagine how I feel about the idea now

Right click -> save as -> ancient curse

someday I hope to have a wikipedia page. but I want it to be as inaccurate as those weird sketchy websites that make up shit about youtubers

like "minatorypigs is 4'11, 7lbs, and was kicked out of Harvard Law for academic dishonesty in 2009."