Character Characterization - Blog Posts

120 ULTIMATE LIST OF CHARACTER FLAWS. Writers save this!

get character worksheet here:

1. Moral Flexibility - Adapts their ethics to fit the situation, often justifying questionable actions as necessary.

2. Cognitive Dissonance - Holds two conflicting beliefs or values and struggles to reconcile them, leading to inner turmoil.

3. Overempathy - Feels others’ emotions too intensely, leading to burnout or an inability to make objective decisions.

4. Intellectual Arrogance - Dismisses others’ ideas as inferior, believing their own intellect is superior.

5. Chronic Overthinking - Analyzes situations to the point of paralysis, unable to take decisive action.

6. Restless Wanderlust - Has a constant desire for change or travel, leading to instability in relationships or careers.

7. Savior Complex - Feels compelled to “save” others, often to the detriment of their own well-being or others’ autonomy.

8. Emotional Vampirism - Drains others emotionally, needing constant validation or attention.

9. Righteous Indignation - Becomes excessively angry over perceived injustices, often alienating others.

10. Altruistic Self-Destruction - Sacrifices themselves for others to an unhealthy degree, often leading to self-neglect.

11. Pathological Modesty - Downplays their own achievements to the point of self-sabotage or invisibility.

12. Incapable of Solitude - Feels an intense fear of being alone, leading to codependent or unhealthy relationships.

13. Over-Rationalization - Justifies every action or decision, even when it’s clearly flawed, to avoid guilt or responsibility.

14. Constant Self-Sabotage - Subconsciously undermines their own success due to deep-seated fears or insecurities.

15. Misplaced Loyalty - Stays loyal to people or causes even when it’s harmful or undeserved.

16. Ethical Rigidity - Follows their moral code to the letter, unable to adapt to complex or gray situations.

17. Need for Obscurity - Prefers to stay unnoticed or in the background, avoiding recognition or responsibility.

18. Involuntary Aloofness - Appears distant or disinterested, often without meaning to, leading to misunderstandings.

19. Fear of Mediocrity - Terrified of being ordinary, they constantly strive for greatness, often leading to burnout.

20. Rejection Sensitivity - Overreacts to criticism or perceived slights, often withdrawing or lashing out.

21. Conflict Avoidance - Avoids confrontation at all costs, leading to unresolved issues and resentment.

22. Over-idealization of Others - Puts people on pedestals, only to be deeply disappointed when they don’t meet expectations.

23. Chronically Unfulfilled - No matter what they achieve, they always feel something is missing, leading to constant searching.

24. Compulsive Truth-Telling - Feels compelled to speak the truth, even when it would be kinder or wiser to remain silent.

25. Overactive Imagination - Sees threats or possibilities where there are none, leading to anxiety or missed opportunities.

26. Faux Humility - Pretends to be humble but secretly craves admiration or validation.

27. Micromanagement - Needs to control every detail, often suffocating others or hindering their own progress.

28. Anachronistic Thinking - Clings to outdated beliefs or practices, struggling to adapt to modern realities.

29. Over-Reliance on Routine - Becomes anxious or lost without their routines, struggling to adapt to change.

30. Selective Memory - Remembers events in a way that suits their narrative, often distorting the truth.

31. Paradoxical Fear of Success - Desires success but subconsciously fears the changes or responsibilities it might bring.

32. Compassion Fatigue - Once empathetic, now numbed or indifferent due to overwhelming exposure to others’ suffering.

33. Overwhelming Nostalgia - Lives in the past, unable to move forward or appreciate the present.

34. Unyielding Perfectionism - So focused on flawlessness that they struggle to complete tasks or accept anything less than perfect.

35. Epistemic Arrogance - Believes they know everything worth knowing, dismissing the possibility of learning from others.

36. Excessive Hedonism - Pursues pleasure to the point of neglecting responsibilities or moral considerations.

37. Over-Cautiousness - So afraid of making mistakes that they rarely take action, leading to missed opportunities.

38. Idealistic Naivety - Believes the world should operate according to their ideals, often clashing with reality.

39. Ambition without Direction - Desires greatness but has no clear path or plan, leading to frustration and failure.

40. Emotional Transference - Projects unresolved emotions onto others, often misinterpreting their intentions or actions.

41. Overdependence on Routine - Becomes anxious or lost without their routines, struggling to adapt to change.

42. Misplaced Guilt - Feels responsible for things outside of their control, leading to unnecessary self-blame.

43. Fear of Being Ordinary - Constantly strives to stand out, often at the expense of authenticity or well-being.

44. Chronic Indecisiveness - Struggles to make even simple decisions, constantly second-guessing themselves.

45. Faux Cynicism - Pretends to be jaded or cynical as a defense mechanism, while secretly caring deeply.

46. Romanticization of Suffering - Believes that suffering is noble or meaningful, often rejecting happiness or comfort.

47. Selective Compassion - Empathetic towards some but completely indifferent or cold to others, often based on biases.

48. Avoidant Optimism - Avoids negative thoughts or situations, clinging to an unrealistic positivity that ignores real problems.

49. Fear of Abandonment - Clings to relationships out of fear of being left alone, often leading to unhealthy dynamics.

50. Overidentification with Work - Sees their job as their entire identity, struggling with self-worth outside of work.

51. Excessive Altruism - Sacrifices their own needs to help others, often to their own detriment.

52. Self-Imposed Isolation - Withdraws from others out of fear of rejection or misunderstanding, leading to loneliness.

53. Over-Analysis Paralysis - Overthinks every situation to the point of being unable to make decisions or take action.

54. Eternal Romantic - Sees the world through a lens of idealized love, often leading to disillusionment or heartbreak.

55. Emotional Incontinence - Struggles to control their emotions, often overwhelming others with their intensity.

56. Fear of Aging - Obsessed with youth, they go to great lengths to deny or hide the aging process.

57. Intellectual Cowardice - Avoids challenging their own beliefs or ideas, sticking to what they know out of fear of change.

58. Emotional Hoarding - Holds onto past hurts or grudges, unable to let go and move on.

59. Unquenchable Curiosity - Always needs to knw more, often prying into others’ lives or crossing boundaries.

60. Romantic Escapism - Uses fantasy or daydreams as a way to avoid dealing with reality, leading to detachment.

61. Masochistic Tendencies - Deliberately seeks out situations that cause them pain or discomfort, believing they deserve it.

62. Incurable Wanderer - Can never settle down, always moving on to the next place or experience, leading to rootlessness.

63. Dependency on Validation - Needs constant approval or praise from others to feel good about themselves.

64. Constant Self-Reinvention - Continuously changes their identity or persona, never settling on who they truly are.

65. Moral Masochism - Finds satisfaction in self-punishment or guilt, often holding themselves to impossible standards.

66. Faux Bravado - Pretends to be fearless or confident to hide deep-seated insecurities or fears.

67. Over-romanticization of the Past - Idealizes past experiences, believing that things were better back then, leading to dissatisfaction with the present.

68. Chronic Hedging - Never fully commits to decisions or actions, always leaving themselves an escape route.

69. Fear of Stagnation - Constantly needs to be doing something or moving forward, fearing they’ll become irrelevant or bored.

70. Over-Attachment to Objects - Places excessive sentimental value on material possessions, struggling to let go.

71. Emotional Stoicism - Refuses to show or acknowledge emotions, leading to repression and eventual breakdowns.

72. Self-Flagellation - Constantly punishes themselves for perceived failures or mistakes, often disproportionate to the actual events.

73. Fear of the Unknown - Terrified of what they can’t predict or control, leading to anxiety or avoidance of new experiences.

74. Romantic Pessimism - Believes that love or relationships are doomed to fail, leading to self-sabotage or cynicism.

75. Intellectual Purism - Believes in the superiority of “pure” intellectual pursuits, often dismissing practical or emotional concerns.

76. Existential Dread - Obsesses over the meaning (or lack thereof) of life, leading to paralysis or despair.

77. Involuntary Nonconformity- Desires to fit in but can’t help standing out or going against the grain, often feeling alienated.

78. Self-Imposed Martyrdom - Puts themselves in a position of suffering or sacrifice, believing it’s their duty or fate.

79. Idealized Self-Image - Clings to an unrealistic self-concept, struggling to accept their flaws or limitations.

80. Compulsive Honesty - Feels compelled to always tell the truth, even when it’s hurtful or inappropriate.

81. Over-Reliance on Technology - Becomes helpless without modern conveniences, struggling to cope with real-world challenges.

82. Moral Exhibitionism - Shows off their ethics or principles to gain admiration or moral superiority, often insincerely.

83. Perpetual Student Syndrome - Always learning but never applying knowledge, avoiding real-world responsibilities.

84. Emotional Osmosis - Absorbs others’ emotions so deeply that they lose track of their own feelings or needs.

85. Pathological Frugality - So obsessed with saving money or resources that they miss out on life’s joys or opportunities.

86. Obsessive Self-Improvement - Never satisfied with themselves, constantly striving for unattainable perfection.

87. False Modesty - Pretends to be humble while fishing for compliments or validation.

88. Uncontrolled Impulsiveness - Acts on whims or impulses without considering the consequences, leading to chaos or regret.

89. Chronic Hedonism - Lives only for pleasure, often to the detriment of their long-term happiness or relationships.

90. Overly Abstract Thinking - So focused on big ideas or concepts that they lose touch with reality or practical concerns.

91. Romantic Idealism - Believes in a perfect love or relationship, often leading to disappointment or disillusionment.

92. Selective Altruism - Only helps others when it suits them, often ignoring those who don’t fit their criteria.

93. Pathological Shyness - So shy or introverted that they struggle to function in social situations, often missing out on opportunities.

94. Moral Superiority - Believes they are more ethical or righteous than others, often looking down on those who don’t share their views.

95. Over-identification with a Role - Sees themselves only as their job, family role, or social identity, losing sight of their true self.

96. Chronic Complaining - Constantly finds something to complain about, often bringing others down or creating a negative atmosphere.

97. Faux Stoicism - Pretends to be emotionally strong or unaffected, while secretly struggling with deep emotional turmoil.

98. Addiction to Drama - Thrives on conflict or chaos, often creating drama where there is none to feel alive or important.

99. Obsessive Collecting - Gathers possessions, knowledge, or experiences obsessively, often unable to let go or move on.

100. Inflexible Optimism - Refuses to acknowledge negative possibilities, often unprepared for setbacks or challenges.

101. Contrarianism - Always takes the opposite stance just to challenge others, often without genuine conviction.

102. Emotional Projection - Attributes their own feelings or issues onto others, often leading to misunderstandings.

103. Compulsive Heroism - Feels the need to be seen as heroic or brave, even in situations that don’t call for it.

104. Spiritual Narcissism - Uses spirituality as a way to feel superior to others or to avoid personal flaws.

105. Self-Defeating Humor - Constantly makes jokes at their own expense, using humor to deflect serious issues.

106. Identity Fluidity - Frequently changes their identity or beliefs to fit in with different groups, losing a sense of true self.

107. Overattachment to the Past - Can’t move on from past successes or failures, allowing them to define their present.

108. Pseudointellectualism - Pretends to know more than they do, using complex language or ideas to impress others.

109. Overidealization of Youth - Places youth on a pedestal, often dismissing the value of experience or aging.

110. Refusal to Accept Help - Rejects assistance from others, believing they must do everything on their own, even to their detriment.

111. Emotional Manipulation - Uses guilt, pity, or other emotions to control or influence others, often without realizing it.

112. Inconsistent Values - Holds contradictory beliefs or morals, leading to confusion or hypocrisy in their actions.

113. Obsession with Legacy - So focused on how they’ll be remembered that they neglect the present or make unwise choices.

114. Excessive Eagerness to Please - Goes out of their way to make others happy, often at the cost of their own needs or principles.

115. Emotionally Guarded - Builds walls around their feelings, making it difficult for others to get close or understand them.

116. Selective Memory - Chooses to remember events in a way that favors them, often distorting the truth.

117. Overattachment to Authority - Relies heavily on rules or leaders, struggling to make decisions independently or question authority.

118. Fear of Vulnerability - Avoids showing weakness or asking for help, leading to isolation or burnout.

119. Intellectual Detachment - Approaches everything with cold logic, often ignoring the emotional or human side of situations.

120. Obsession with Control - Needs to control every aspect of their life and others’, often leading to stress or strained relationships.

How to Create A Villain

The best villains? They don’t even see themselves as the bad guys. They’re 100% convinced that what they’re doing is right, even if it’s messed up. Maybe they’re trying to “save the world” by doing something super questionable, or they think enforcing strict rules is the only way to keep society in check. They truly believe they’re the hero of their own story, which makes them way more interesting and real.

And Yeah, your villain might want power, but the real question is: Why? Were they humiliated in the past and now want control? Did they grow up powerless and now crave it to avoid being vulnerable again? When you dig into their backstory and show us why they’re doing horrible things, it makes them a lot more relatable—even if they’re totally wrong.

Flat, one-note villains are boring. If your antagonist is going to stick with people, they need depth. Show us what’s going on under the surface. Maybe they lie awake at night, doubting their choices, or they’re still haunted by a massive failure that’s pushing them toward their goal. A villain with personal struggles and vulnerabilities feels way more human and way harder to fully

A great Villain doesn’t just fight the hero, they reflect them. They might have totally different goals, but at their core, they share similar traits, maybe ambition, stubbornness, or a tragic backstory. When the hero looks at the villain, they should see a bit of themselves, and that’s what makes the conflict between them so intense.

When the villain finally goes down, it should feel big. Their defeat shouldn’t just be a fight, it should hit them emotionally. Ideally, their downfall comes from their own flaws, maybe they got too arrogant or made a mistake because of their obsessive goal. The best villain defeats leave the audience feeling a little sad or conflicted, not just happy for the hero’s win.

10 Actionable Tips to Help You Get to Know Your Characters Better

Here are 10 actionable storytelling tips for writers to get to know their characters better:

1. Create Detailed Character Profiles:

Write out a comprehensive profile for each character, including their background, personality traits, physical appearance, and quirks. This helps to flesh out their individuality and makes them more real to you.

2. Conduct Character Interviews:

Write out a list of interview questions and answer them from the perspective of your character. This can include questions about their past, desires, fears, and daily life.

3. Write Backstory Scenes:

Develop scenes from your character’s past that might not appear in the main story but inform their motivations and behavior. This can include significant childhood events, first loves, or pivotal moments.

4. Develop Character Arcs:

Plan out your character’s development throughout the story. Consider how they change from beginning to end and what events catalyze their growth or decline.

5. Explore Relationships:

Write scenes or dialogues focusing on your character’s interactions with others. This can reveal how they relate to different personalities and social dynamics.

6. Utilize Character Diaries:

Have your character keep a diary or journal. Writing entries from their perspective can provide deep insights into their inner thoughts and feelings.

7. Engage in Role-Playing:

Spend time role-playing as your character. Respond to hypothetical situations or daily routines as they would, helping you understand their decision-making process and emotional responses.

8. Write Monologues:

Create monologues where your character speaks directly about their dreams, struggles, and philosophies. This can help clarify their voice and mindset.

9. Build a Character Playlist:

Compile a playlist of songs that resonate with your character’s personality, story arc, or current emotions. Music can evoke a deeper understanding of their internal world.

10. Use Character Maps:

Create visual maps that chart your character’s relationships, key life events, and emotional highs and lows. This can help you see patterns and connections in their story.

These tips can help you delve deeper into your characters' psyche, making them more vivid and relatable in your writing.

Developing Backstory: Bringing Characters to Life

1. Where It All Started: The Character’s Origin

Place of Birth: Where did your character first see the world? Think about the impact of this place—was it a busy city where they had to fight for attention or a quiet village where everyone knew everyone’s business? This location doesn’t just say where they’re from; it shapes how they see the world.

Family and Upbringing: What was their family like? Were their parents loving or distant? Maybe they were raised by someone other than their parents—a mentor, an older sibling, or even alone. Family (or the lack of it) is usually one of the most significant factors in shaping who someone becomes.

Society’s Expectations: What was expected of them when they were young? Possibly, they were born into wealth, with all the pressure to continue the family legacy, or maybe they were raised to be invisible in a world where survival mattered. How does this influence who they are now? Do they accept or reject those expectations?

2. Childhood Events That Left a Mark

First Taste of Conflict: Think about the first time the character realized the world wasn’t a perfect place. Maybe they witnessed violence or faced betrayal. What was that moment, and how did it stick with them? This moment usually lays the foundation for the character’s emotional landscape—fear, hope, ambition, or distrust all come from these early life lessons.

Childhood Dreams: When they were young, what did they want to be? Every child has dreams—did they want to be a knight, a scholar, or even just someone who could travel the world? Did they have to give up these dreams? How does that lost dream shape them now?

Formative Relationships: Who was their first best friend, mentor, or enemy? Childhood friendships and relationships often create deep bonds or wounds that last into adulthood. Did they have a mentor who taught them everything, only to betray them? Did they lose a childhood friend that still haunts them?

3. The Teen Years: Where They Start to Become Who They Are

Trials and Tribulations: What’s the biggest challenge they faced as they grew up? Was it losing a loved one, failing at something important, or maybe being forced into a role they didn’t want? These teenage years are where the emotional armor starts forming—how did the difficulties they faced shape them into the person they are now?

Education or Training: How did they learn what they know? Were they formally trained by an institution, learning everything by the book, or did they learn through experience, like a street-smart survivalist? What impact does their education or lack of it have on how they interact with others?

Teenage Bonds: Did they have a first love or a first major falling out with someone close to them? These experiences often create emotional scars or connections that they carry with them into adulthood. How does that past friendship or romance influence their behavior now?

4. Key Life Events: The Big Moments That Define Them

Trauma or Loss: Was there a moment that changed everything? Think about a significant loss—maybe a loved one, their home, or a sense of identity. How does this event affect their worldview? Do they build walls around themselves or dive into relationships with reckless abandon because they fear losing more?

Victory or Failure: Did they experience a moment of triumph or devastating defeat? Success and failure leave their marks. Were they celebrated as a hero once, leading them to overconfidence, or did they fail when everyone was counting on them, leading to crippling self-doubt?

Betrayal: Was there a betrayal that shaped their adult relationships? Whether it is a friend, family member, or lover, betrayal often changes how we trust others. Do they close themselves off, constantly expecting betrayal, or try to rebuild trust, afraid of being left alone again.

5. Where They Stand Now: The Present Moment

What Drives Them Today: What’s the one thing pushing them forward now? Is it revenge, the need to restore their family’s honor, or maybe even just survival? Whatever it is, this motivation should tie directly back to their experiences.

Emotional Baggage: What unresolved emotional wounds are they carrying? Everyone has scars from their past—some are visible, others not so much. How do these emotional wounds affect how they treat others, how they react to conflict, and how they move through the world.

Current Relationships: Who’s still in their life from their past, and how do they feel about it? Did they reconnect with someone they thought they’d lost, or are they haunted by unresolved issues with people from their past? Do they have any ongoing tensions or regrets tied to these people?

6. Tying Themes to Their Backstory

Cultural or Mythological Influence: How does their personal story tie into the larger world’s mythology or culture? Do they carry a family legacy, a curse, or a prophecy that hangs over them? How does this influence their interactions with others and their perception of themselves?

Recurring Symbols: Are there objects, dreams, or people that keep showing up in their life, symbolizing their journey? Perhaps a recurring nightmare haunts them, or they carry an object from their past that’s both a source of comfort and pain

7. Character Arc: The Journey from Past to Present

How Does Their Past Shape Their Growth?: Every character has emotional baggage that needs resolving. How does their backstory drive their arc? Do they need to forgive themselves, let go of the past, or accept who they’ve become to move forward?

Unanswered Questions from the Past: Are there any mysteries in their backstory they need to solve? Maybe they’re unaware of their true parentage, or maybe there’s a forgotten event from their childhood that will resurface and change everything.

Introductory character descriptions

Friendly reminder about introductory character descriptions, especially those at the beginning of the book: To avoid it sounding entirely like an exposition dump, give a reason to why the narrator is noticing what either they or another character is wearing.

For example, worked on this first draft last night: 

Iris hauls up her pack and smooths her clammy hands down her skirt. At the time, the pleated corduroy seemed both durable and multipurpose. Her boots, too, knee-high but thick-soled, and her leggings—warm, flexible, already scraped up at the knees. Clothes she could have hanging in her closet without her mother getting suspicious of why they were so different from the rest of her wardrobe. Clothes that are not sprinting-through-the-Sakartan-wilderness attire.

First draft, so, you know. But! Character isn’t just describing what she’s wearing, she’s describing it in relation to how impractical it now is for her environment. It’s motivated exposition.

Shortly thereafter, Iris meets a new person, and describes them as follows:

Did she stumble into an unassuming temple, whole house left in sacrifice and worship of some celestial she can’t begin to name? They don’t look Sakartan, not just in coloring, but in stature, too. Lithe, frightfully thin with gaunt cheeks, a discoloring across their nose like tiny yellow lesions, and Iris has never known a Sakartan with curls. They’re not even dressed like one, wearing something that kind of looks like a high-collared robe, except it’s split up both sides to a wide belt. Leggings, like hers, adorned with leafy lace, and more of it on the edges of the belled sleeves. The black and gold fabric only serve to make them look even more ethereal. Iris flies through her catalog of fashion across the realms, trying to find a home for this displaced god in vain…

I might still trim it down later but it’s 8am on a workday and this is an example post. It’s still a lot of description to throw at the reader, at least in my opinion, but all of it is anchored to the narrator trying to figure out who and what they are and if they’re a threat, not just taking an aside to describe their features unprompted.

—

So whether you’re describing the narrator or someone the narrator is observing, giving the narrator a reason to give this description at this time and some reaction to it pulls double duty: You’re giving exposition, but still telling the story as you tell it. She’s not just describing clothing, she’s describing why it matters right this second and how both serve to hinder the conflicts of the scene.

It's not just clothing, it's impractical clothing, or it's far too bougie for this side of town, or far too fancy for an average school day, or it's all stained and ripped, which reflects the wearer as either destitute or on the run, perhaps. It's motivated.

Understanding Morally Gray Characters in Storytelling

Definition and Core Characteristics:

Complex and Ambiguous Morality: Morally gray characters exhibit traits and make decisions that do not fit neatly into the categories of 'good' or 'evil'. Their actions and motivations often blend aspects of both.

Humanized Flaws: They possess human flaws, which make their actions and decisions relatable and believable. These flaws often drive their complex behavior.

Realistic Motivations: Their motivations are multifaceted and realistic, often stemming from personal experiences, traumas, or societal pressures.

Importance in Storytelling:

Adds Depth: These characters add depth and richness to the narrative, providing a more nuanced and realistic portrayal of human nature.

Creates Tension and Conflict: Their unpredictability and complex morality create tension and conflict, driving the plot and engaging the audience.

Reflects Real Life: By portraying characters with both good and bad qualities, stories can reflect the complexity of real-life moral decisions.

Examples and Their Impact:

Walter White from Breaking Bad: Initially a high school chemistry teacher diagnosed with cancer, Walter turns to manufacturing methamphetamine to secure his family’s future. His descent into criminality and moral compromise makes him a quintessential morally gray character.

Severus Snape from Harry Potter: Snape’s actions and allegiances are ambiguous throughout much of the series. His ultimate loyalty and sacrifices reveal a deeply complex character motivated by love and regret.

Creating a Morally Gray Character:

Blend Virtues and Vices: Give your character a mix of admirable qualities and significant flaws. This balance helps create a sense of realism.

Motivations Over Actions: Focus on the character’s motivations rather than just their actions. Understand why they make certain decisions, even if those decisions are morally questionable.

Consequences and Growth: Show the consequences of their actions and allow for character growth or regression. This evolution keeps the character dynamic and engaging.

Impact on the Audience:

Empathy and Engagement: Morally gray characters can evoke empathy from the audience, as they see parts of themselves in the character’s struggles and decisions.

Moral Reflection: These characters prompt audiences to reflect on their own moral beliefs and the complexities of right and wrong.

Discussion and Debate: The ambiguous nature of morally gray characters often sparks discussion and debate, making stories more engaging and thought-provoking.

By understanding and effectively using morally gray characters, storytellers can craft richer, more engaging narratives that resonate deeply with their audience.

Internal conflict writing ideas

Not everything has to be fight scenes

—Losing something of emotional value and remembering its history and why it’s important to the character

—Reliving a traumatic event

—Running into an old friend who’s either completely changed since they’ve last seen each other or far too similar, leaving the character to wonder about how they’ve matured and grown compared to this other person

—Internally deciding if they should voice a fear or concern to the group, even if they might look silly or ridiculous doing so

—Friends vs family in terms of choosing who to follow and listen too

—Feeling unqualified to work on a project or be apart of the adventure

—Romantic feelings for someone they shouldn’t and dealing with how they should proceed internally. (THIS MEANS RIVALS OR FORBIDDEN ROMANCE. NOT ANYTHING ILLEGAL!!!)

—Thinking about mortality and death after being reminded of an late friend/family passing

—Being less talented at something years later when they used to be the best in that field

—Finding an old photo that carries much more emotional significance now than it did X years ago.

Things Real People Do in Dialogue (For Your Next Story)

Okay, let’s be real—dialogue can make or break a scene. You want your characters to sound natural, like actual humans talking, not robots reading a script. So, how do you write dialogue that feels real without it turning into a mess of awkward pauses and “ums”? Here’s a little cheat sheet of what real people actually do when they talk (and you can totally steal these for your next story):

1. People Interrupt Each Other All the Time In real conversations, nobody waits for the perfect moment to speak. We interrupt, cut each other off, and finish each other's sentences. Throw in some overlaps or interruptions in your dialogue to make it feel more dynamic and less like a rehearsed play.

2. They Don’t Always Say What They Mean Real people are masters of dodging. They’ll say one thing but mean something totally different (hello, passive-aggressive banter). Or they’ll just avoid the question entirely. Let your characters be vague, sarcastic, or just plain evasive sometimes—it makes their conversations feel more layered.

3. People Trail Off... We don’t always finish our sentences. Sometimes we just... stop talking because we assume the other person gets what we’re trying to say. Use that in your dialogue! Let a sentence trail off into nothing. It adds realism and shows the comfort (or awkwardness) between characters.

4. Repeating Words Is Normal In real life, people repeat words when they’re excited, nervous, or trying to make a point. It’s not a sign of bad writing—it’s how we talk. Let your characters get a little repetitive now and then. It adds a rhythm to their speech that feels more genuine.

5. Fillers Are Your Friends People say "um," "uh," "like," "you know," all the time. Not every character needs to sound polished or poetic. Sprinkle in some filler words where it makes sense, especially if the character is nervous or thinking on their feet.

6. Not Everyone Speaks in Complete Sentences Sometimes, people just throw out fragments instead of complete sentences, especially when emotions are high. Short, choppy dialogue can convey tension or excitement. Instead of saying “I really think we need to talk about this,” try “We need to talk. Now.”

7. Body Language Is Part of the Conversation Real people don’t just communicate with words; they use facial expressions, gestures, and body language. When your characters are talking, think about what they’re doing—are they fidgeting? Smiling? Crossing their arms? Those little actions can add a lot of subtext to the dialogue without needing extra words.

8. Awkward Silences Are Golden People don’t talk non-stop. Sometimes, they stop mid-conversation to think, or because things just got weird. Don’t be afraid to add a beat of awkward silence, a long pause, or a meaningful look between characters. It can say more than words.

9. People Talk Over Themselves When They're Nervous When we’re anxious, we tend to talk too fast, go back to rephrase what we just said, or add unnecessary details. If your character’s nervous, let them ramble a bit or correct themselves. It’s a great way to show their internal state through dialogue.

10. Inside Jokes and Shared History Real people have history. Sometimes they reference something that happened off-page, or they share an inside joke only they get. This makes your dialogue feel lived-in and shows that your characters have a life beyond the scene. Throw in a callback to something earlier, or a joke only two characters understand.

11. No One Explains Everything People leave stuff out. We assume the person we’re talking to knows what we’re talking about, so we skip over background details. Instead of having your character explain everything for the reader’s benefit, let some things go unsaid. It’ll feel more natural—and trust your reader to keep up!

12. Characters Have Different Voices Real people don’t all talk the same way. Your characters shouldn’t either! Pay attention to their unique quirks—does one character use slang? Does another speak more formally? Maybe someone’s always cutting people off while another is super polite. Give them different voices and patterns of speech so their dialogue feels authentic to them.

13. People Change the Subject In real life, conversations don’t always stay on track. People get sidetracked, jump to random topics, or avoid certain subjects altogether. If your characters are uncomfortable or trying to dodge a question, let them awkwardly change the subject or ramble to fill the space.

14. Reactions Aren’t Always Immediate People don’t always respond right away. They pause, they think, they hesitate. Sometimes they don’t know what to say, and that delay can speak volumes. Give your characters a moment to process before they respond—it’ll make the conversation feel more natural.

Important note: Please don’t use all of these tips in one dialogue at once.

3 More Character Types the World Needs More Of

Or at least, I do.

1. The denied redeemed villain

I need this. So badly right now. So, so, so many “redemption arcs” are half-assed and carry undertones of guilt by the heroes, gaslighting them into thinking the villain “wasn’t all that bad” right before they make some big heroic sacrifice, as if that’s ever enough to make up for the damage that was done.

But you know what I never see? A villain who’s done some awful shit, wakes up to reality, tries to apologize and… is denied. No, it’s not enough to be sorry. No, you’re not absolved of your crimes just because you cry really hard on your knees. Yes, you have to work for it. Yes, even if you work for it for the rest of your whole life, those you hurt are not obligated to forgive you.

Example that sadly did not happen in canon: Enji Todoroki

2. The liar revealed who loses

This fucker lies and cheats his way into his lover’s arms (and liars revealed are always men, because their love interests are always women put in the place of “but he tried really hard and you need to forgive him uwu” unless it’s gay). Similar to above, no, you do not get rewarded just for feeling sorry.

This character builds an entire relationship (and it’s specifically romance that I take such an issue with) on a lie. They are not who they say they are, specifically, they lie about their identity because they know their lover would not let this happen if they knew the truth.

It’s one thing to lie about something inconsequential, or to lie about something unrelated, but to lie deliberately to present yourself as the perfect suitor—and these are never little white lies, these are usually entirely false identities, or secrets so damning that risking the truth could mean arrest or even death—just. Why?

Yeah, okay, you never thought you’d get this far. Cool. You don’t have to tell her the truth, but you have to leave before you trick her into sleeping with you.

It’s just. So squicky. And the lesson always is that he deserves love, that he makes up for it with everything else, that he’s just got a winning personality. She always forgives him, even if they fight about it, it’s so, so predictable.

Examples that did not lose: Aladdin, Evan Hansen

3. The paragon who loses faith

I don’t know that we need a whole bunch of these characters, but so many paragons are painted as heroes with unshakable loyalty to their causes and I’d love to see a devolution of character where they just can’t keep smiling and pretending it’s alright. That there is a limit to how much shit they can take.

They don’t have to go full villain, but maybe they just stop caring, maybe they get cynical, maybe they just don’t show up for work the next day, maybe they’re not there when they’re needed the most.

There’s a few stories I can think of where the masses realize they’ve screwed up and show the hero that their faith has been rewarded (Nolan Bats being one of them) but I mean really a hero who just cannot take it anymore, throws in the towel, and walks away knowing it’s the hardest thing they’ve ever had to do.

Example: (kind of) Captain America

—

Sorry this list is kind of a bummer. It’s a bummer kind of week.

Writing Advice: How To Trauma

In seeing the recent explosion of my "How To Write Trauma With Humanity" post, I have decided to jump back into this topic!

This cute post will be covering how to write complicated individuals with Trauma. From the good, the bad, and especially the ugly since people tend to assume that victimhood is inherently seperated from assholehood

A) Being A Person And Afraid

In my experience, the majority of people with trauma have simultaneously existing fears and desires that often contradict, complicate, or outright hurt themselves.

I call them "fear combinations"

It's these fear combinations that cause people with trauma to often act in ways that seem confusing to outsiders.

For example, the person that's always on the hunt for a relationship but whenever an opportunity for romance strikes, they create relationship havok so the relationship can end

Or a person tries to always sincerely bring attention to themselves but whenver the attention is on them, they just shrug it off as not being worthy of it

This behavior seems kinda weird until you stop to take a closer look at their psyche.

Example 1 is based off of my character, Monday Vũ who has a tendency of jumping into relationships with a sincere desire to find romance until the honeymoon period ends as Monday realizes that if the relationship continues they might have to settle down, forgo their entire identity, and all of their freedom. Then they sabotage the relationship under the guise that it's a selfless endeavour.

Example 2 is based off my character, Niko Preyr who uses grand public gestures and his friendships to prop himself up as a person to be known but if you ever spoke to him then you would quickly see one of the most insecure yet attention-hungry individuals you have ever seen.

"Fear Combinations" are an excellent device in making your characters complex. In my opinion, the trauma-writing scene is just a little bit too neat in it's displays of trauma. It's too logical. It doesn't feel real to my personal experiences.

"he has trust issues because of trauma" What if he also had issues with being clingy to people he sees as trust-worthy?

What if your characters weren't so easy to understand? But I hear you wondering.

How? How do these people manifest such confusing behavior? Why should I add this into my characters?

I'll tell you

B) Instinct Vs Terror, Fighting Against Yourself

In my opinion, "fear combinations" are either caused by the distortion of a human fear or the event in which an intrinsic desire is contrasted against a "survival method".

Humans are born with certain "intrinsic" fears and desires. Humans are born with a desire for belonging, a desire for vulnerability, a desire for self-fulfillment, a desire for independence, a desire for security in themselves.

And with desire comes the fear of "missing out". The fear that you want something that everyone wants but for some reason you won't be able to get it. The fear that you'll loose it. And the fear that your desire might put you into danger. What if you get rejected? What if you never find that group? What if you never find freedom?

In not-traumatized individuals, while it may take some introspection, people can and often do reconcile their fears and desires in a movie-montage when they're children with the help of a strong support system.

In traumtized individuals, what tends to happen is that either the fear of lose and the fear of gain tend to be increased to unpredencented levels

Either that, or a lack of a strong support system doesn't allow the child to safely confront their fears in order to get what they want.

This causes "fear combination"

Niko Preyr has the natural desire to be validated as "good", as "special", as "worthy". A desire we are all born with. However, his upbringing convinced him that he is underserving of what we all need. This causes Niko Preyr to use attention as validation. However whenever he receives this attention, his gifted fear that he is undeserving causes him to reject the attention. But he continues searching for attention to serve that need for validation. A hellish cycle.

Monday Vũ has two understandable fears that we all have. The fear of losing two necessary things: indepedence and security. Monday fears being abandoned, fears being engulfed into relationships. While children and adults can often reconcile those fears in their childhood through a strong support system, Monday never had that. Instead she had her father who emotionally left her and her mother who literally left her. Monday only had herself to rely on, at least thats how she felt. And now, as an adult, Monday wants to fulfill that desire we all have. To be loved. To be connected. But she's afraid. Afraid of being blindsided. Afraid of not having the last laugh. Afraid of being apart of something.

What if that loner wolf found someone who they think is perfect. Someone worthy of their trust. Do you really think that all those years of yearning for love, for connection, are just going to be smothered when they have the perfect person to unleash their childish, half-developed, horrifying emotions onto?

But what next? After we have our character's contradictory fears and desires, after we have the justification for why they feel like this, what's next?

It's this:

C) Self-Destructive Habits: Why We Understand And Can't Change

Let me tell you, unless in very specific conditions such as certain personality disorders and so on, people tend to understand that their behavior is foolish, illogical, and hurting other people.

Monday knows that betraying other people, hurting their trust and faith in their relationships, and entering relationships when she understands her history is bad. It makes her a bad person.

Niko knows that their habits are actively hurting their chances at finding worth.

That "Lone Wolf" understands, deep down, that no single person can handle the high expectations and emotions.

They know it because they can see it. Many times. Monday can see that characters in movies who have their relationship history tend to be casted as the antagonist. Niko can hear the gossip. That "Lone Wolf" can see the way that their loved ones cracked under the pressure and guilt.

So why do they do it? It feeds into their idea of the world. It feeds into what they want to be perceived as. It feeds into their stagnancy.

If Monday can ignore how they hurt others, then they can live under the Martyr label for the rest of their life without having to come to term with the fact that this isn't selflessness, it's called being pathetic.

If Niko can ignore how deep that hurt goes, then they never have to actually make the effort to change. To take that potential and make themselves into something. To be responsible.

If "Lone Wolf" can ignore how nobody can meet their expectations without crumbling down, then they use everyone's failure to feed into their cynical, self-hating notion of how nobody's trustworthy. How they don't have the responsibility of being considerate.

Let's talk about character development.

Creating multidimensional characters make them more relatable to your readers. They add richness and complexity to the narrative, enhancing its overall depth and resonance.

So. How?

Complex motivations: Characters should have motivations that go beyond simple desires or goals. Delve deep into their past experiences, fears, and desires to understand what truly drives them. Keep them consistent yet nuanced for realistic character growth and change throughout the story.

Flaws and vulnerabilities: Avoid creating characters who are too perfect or flawless. Imperfections make characters relatable and interesting. Give them vulnerabilities, weaknesses, and struggles to overcome. This adds depth to their personalities and creates opportunities for character development.

Internal conflict: Explore the internal conflicts within your characters. This could be moral dilemmas, inner turmoil, or conflicting emotions. Internal struggles can be just as compelling, if not more so, than external conflicts, and they add layers to your characters' development. (See my previous post about this!)

Consistent behaviour: Make sure to keep your characters' actions, reactions, and decisions consistent with their established personalities, backgrounds, and motivations. Inconsistencies can break the reader's immersion and credibility in the story. And the fandom will hunt you down mercilessly.

Unique voice: Each character should have a distinct voice and mannerisms that reflect their personality, background, and worldview. Pay attention to the way they speak, their vocabulary, and their gestures. This will really help to bring your characters to life.

Dynamic relationships: Develop dynamic relationships between your characters. Interactions with other characters should reveal new facets of their personalities and contribute to their growth or downfalls. Explore different types of relationships (friendships, romances, rivalries, family dynamics, etc.) to add depth to your characters' experiences.

Arc of change: Consider how your characters evolve over the course of the story. What lessons do they learn? How do their experiences shape them? Every significant event should impact your characters in some way, leading to growth, transformation, or regression.

Happy writing ❤

Previous | Next

When your Character...

Gets into: A Fight ⚜ ...Another Fight ⚜ ...Yet Another Fight

Hates Someone ⚜ Kisses Someone ⚜ Falls in Love

Calls Someone they Love ⚜ Dies / Cheats Death ⚜ Drowns

is...

A Ballerina ⚜ A Child ⚜ Interacting with a Child ⚜ A Cheerleader

A Cowboy ⚜ A Genius ⚜ A Lawyer ⚜ A Pirate ⚜ A Spy

A Wheelchair User ⚜ A Zombie ⚜ Beautiful ⚜ Dangerous ⚜ Drunk

Funny ⚜ In a Coma ⚜ In a Secret Society ⚜ Injured ⚜ Shy

needs...

A Magical Item ⚜ An Aphrodisiac ⚜ A Fictional Poison

A Coping Strategy ⚜ A Drink ⚜ A Medicinal Herb ⚜ A Mentor

Money ⚜ A Persuasion Tactic ⚜ A Quirk ⚜ To be Killed Off

To Become Likable ⚜ To Clean a Wound ⚜ To Self-Reflect

To Find the Right Word, but Can't ⚜ To Say No ⚜ To Swear

loves...

Astronomy ⚜ Baking ⚜ Cooking ⚜ Cocktails ⚜ Food ⚜ Oils

Dancing ⚜ Fashion ⚜ Gems ⚜ Herbal Remedies ⚜ Honey

Mushrooms ⚜ Mythology ⚜ Numbers ⚜ Perfumes

Roses ⚜ Sweets ⚜ To Argue ⚜ To Insult ⚜ To Kiss

To Make False Claims ⚜ Wine ⚜ Wine-Tasting ⚜ Yoga

has/experiences...

Allergies ⚜ Amnesia ⚜ Bereavement ⚜ Bites & Stings

Bruises ⚜ Caffeine ⚜ CO Poisoning ⚜ Color Blindness

Facial Hair ⚜ Fainting ⚜ Fevers ⚜ Food Allergies

Food Poisoning ⚜ Fractures ⚜ Frostbite ⚜ Hypothermia

Injuries ⚜ Jet Lag ⚜ Kidnapping ⚜ Manipulation ⚜ Mutism

Pain ⚜ Paranoia ⚜ Poisoning ⚜ More Pain & Violence

Scars ⚜ Trauma ⚜ Viruses ⚜ Wounds

[these are just quick references. more research may be needed to write your story...]

Writing Resources PDFs

Good Traits Gone Bad

Empathy turning into manipulation

Imagine a character who is deeply empathetic, someone who genuinely feels and understands the emotions of others. At first, this makes them incredibly compassionate and kind, always there to lend an ear or offer comfort. But over time, this empathy begins to shift. Instead of just understanding how others feel, they start to use that understanding to manipulate those around them. They know exactly what to say to get people to do what they want, twisting their caring nature into a tool for control. What once was a beautiful gift becomes a weapon, used to bend others to their will without them even realizing it.

Confidence becoming arrogance

Think of someone who exudes confidence—someone who knows their worth and isn’t afraid to go after what they want. This kind of self-assuredness is magnetic and inspiring, drawing people in. But sometimes, this confidence can grow into something darker. The character starts to believe they’re always right, that their way is the best and only way. They dismiss others’ ideas and opinions, thinking they know better than everyone else. What was once a healthy self-esteem turns into arrogance, pushing people away as they start to feel belittled and unappreciated.

Ambition turning into obsession

Picture a character who is ambitious and driven, always striving for the next big achievement. Their dedication is admirable, pushing them to work hard and aim high. But ambition can have a dark side, too. Slowly, their drive becomes an obsession. They start to focus solely on their goals, willing to sacrifice anything or anyone who stands in their way. Friends, family, and even their own health fall by the wayside as they chase success at any cost. What was once an admirable quality turns destructive, consuming them completely.

Loyalty becoming blind devotion

Loyalty is such a beautiful trait. A loyal character is dependable, someone who stands by the people they care about no matter what. But loyalty can also become dangerous if it goes too far. This character might start to overlook red flags or harmful behaviors, sticking by someone or something even when it’s clearly detrimental. They become so blindly devoted that they lose sight of their own well-being and moral compass. What starts as a positive trait turns into a kind of self-destructive stubbornness, harming them more than helping.

Courage turning into recklessness

Imagine someone who’s incredibly brave, always ready to face challenges head-on and stand up for what they believe in. At first, this courage is inspiring, giving them the strength to overcome obstacles and help others. But sometimes, courage can cross a line. It turns into recklessness, making them take unnecessary risks without considering the consequences. They start to believe they’re invincible, putting themselves and others in danger because they’re too focused on proving their bravery. What was once a powerful strength becomes a dangerous flaw.

Determination becoming stubbornness

There’s something admirable about a character who never gives up, no matter how tough things get. Their determination helps them push through difficulties and keep going when others might quit. But when that determination turns into stubbornness, it’s a different story. They refuse to change their minds, even when all the signs point to a different path. They ignore advice, dismiss alternative viewpoints, and stick to their course out of sheer willpower, even when it’s clearly not working. Their once-praiseworthy persistence becomes a source of frustration for those around them.

Optimism becoming naivety

Someone who always looks on the bright side, no matter what. Their optimism is contagious, lifting the spirits of those around them and helping them see the silver lining in every situation. But if they aren’t careful, this optimism can morph into naivety. They might start ignoring real dangers or fail to recognize when they’re being taken advantage of. Their rosy outlook makes them blind to harsh realities, and they become easily deceived or led astray, all because they’re so focused on seeing the good in everything and everyone.

Protectiveness turning into possessiveness

A character who is naturally protective of their loved ones, always looking out for them and ensuring they’re safe and happy. This protectiveness is heartwarming and makes those around them feel cherished. But when protectiveness goes too far, it can become possessiveness. The character starts to feel like they own the people they care about, becoming overly controlling and jealous. They start dictating others' actions, justifying it as care, but it’s really about their need to keep everything under their control. What started as a caring instinct turns into something suffocating and unhealthy.

Altruism becoming self-neglect

Think about a character who is incredibly selfless, always putting others' needs before their own. They’re the kind of person who would give you the shirt off their back, always ready to help, always there for everyone. But this selflessness can go too far. It turns into self-neglect, where they completely disregard their own needs and well-being. They keep giving and giving until they have nothing left, leading to burnout and exhaustion. Their altruism, while beautiful, ends up harming them because they don’t know how to set boundaries or take care of themselves.

Honesty becoming brutal bluntness

There’s a lot to be said for a character who is straightforward and honest, someone who tells it like it is and doesn’t sugarcoat the truth. People appreciate their transparency and trustworthiness. But when honesty turns into brutal bluntness, it’s no longer a positive trait. This character starts to disregard others' feelings, using their honesty as an excuse to be harsh and tactless. Their words cut deep, hurting those around them, all in the name of being truthful. What was once refreshing candor becomes a source of pain, as they lose sight of the importance of kindness in communication.