Heart Ache - Blog Posts

The wind overwhelms me, the dusk overwhelms me, the cars, the lights, the crowd, the emptiness, the dark, the light, everything overwhelms me. The dews on the veins, the mourning birds, the talking grains and the longing trains. Everything aches, everything burns, everything overwhelms. The existence, and the disappearance.

-Ann 🌻

When I was young

Alone in my time of need

An angel came to me

He offered to be my shield

If I could show him selfless beauty

So I became an artist

When I got a bit older

In my time of need

I called for the Monster

He offered to keep me sane

if I could help those in need

as an exchange

So I became a listener

When I was at my breaking point

The devil spoke to me

He offered me his silver tongue

In exchange of letting him feel loved

So I became a refuge for all

Then I met you

And i saw tears in your eyes

Came a voice

A feeling blooming

I couldn't deny

If you are to be the moon in the sky

I'd be the darkness by your side

Always in sight but never in reach

So I became a beast

A wolf longing for you for all time

The other three turned to you too

As the world lost meaning

And now you are gone

And we hate everything

NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUG NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH ...............................RAGE

I am the disease that inflicts this world.

She is the one that keeps me at bay.

If she is taken from this world.

The world will die a slow agonizing death.

I write for you because I can't kiss you. So I hope my words would.

Another call out post.

“I’d kill for you. Please ask me to kill for you.” “No.” Is a top tier ship dynamic no I do not take criticism

101 ways to say I love you.

Let's do nothing together

I started that novel series you really like

I took a nap in the afternoon so we can talk late night 

When you were gone I took care of your plants

Call me when you get home

I made your favorite dish today since you're sad

I came home early and washed the dishes beforehand.

Sleep in today, I will make breakfast

Put your seatbelt on

I haven't watched any new episodes, I will watch with you 

I made these notes for you to help study

You drool in your sleep

You are a dumbass

I'm silly when I am with you

We share a whole brain cell between us

I saved you the last bite

Try this, it's delicious.

I saved you a seat

You're My only idiot

See this funny thing I found

No one else gets to make your life hell.

Never had this much fun before.

You are my blorbo

Never change

I wish you were here

Stay

Come here

Get in here

I got you

Whenever I get a notification I hope it's you.

You are my favorite person

I'd come with you.

I miss you too much 

Come back quick

Hold me.

Give me your hand.

Let me help.

Show me where it hurts.

I'm here.

I wish you were here.

I wish we had met sooner.

It's so peaceful beside you

I will watch over you.

Sleep well, I'm here.

No one should look so cute eating ice-cream.

I love your eyes 

Have this weird nickname.

No one is worthy of your tears.

You are crazy but you are my crazy.

Your name always puts a smile on my face.

Take your time, I'm here.

I am proud of you 

You inspire me

I'd rather have you, good and bad.

You say lovinging you is a mistake, Not to me not if it's you 

Don't go where I can't follow 

I need you

I want to be inconvenienced by you 

I'd be here if you need me 

I'm not going anywhere

If you are happy so am I 

You say you have to go, When do we leave?

I see you

I want you

Stay safe 

Your smile Is infectious

I miss the sound of your voice.

You can stay as long as you want

Let's travel the world together

Even when the world turns against you I'd be beside you

I'd stay by your side

I'd kill anything that scares you

I'm with you till the end

I prayed for you

Please stop hurting yourself.

Mine

I want you to be happy with me or without me

I don't want to be happy without you

We should stay together, with pets.

till the last Breath 

As you wish

You deserve the world

Let's rule together

I will give up everything in a heartbeat.

You're the only thing in this world that I don't hate.

Where you go I will follow.

As long as it's you

There is no me if there is no you

I wish to dream of you tonight.

Be mine.

My kind side is for you only.

You're my home.

You will always have a home beside me.

You changed me

You are worth it.

Let me hold you.

Hush, I'm here now.

My peace.

The world is irrelevant.

I won't ever let go.

I'd burn the world to keep you warm.

From oh no I love her? to oh god I love her! to

       God why do I still love her????

Someone go tell my home that i'm homesick for her.

Winning at betrayal.

I still feel her ghost inside me. numbing sting,I thought would subside by now. I wore my self out. you burned me down. and I was happy. down that road we always drove.I loved it then, but wish to forget it now. those songs we sang never meant more. all that I was somehow turned to ruin, and into nothing... and no more. swept and trampled under the rug. my morals walking out the door behind me. back turned. I didnt care.I dont know how. but all I have to blame is love. no no. it was you my dear. that wasnt love. but I still swallow that knot of rage. that gulp of pain. willingly for you. theres no more I can do. No not for you. no not for you. even if I wanted to. but Im confused. like cattle. I was herded. left undone and deserted. I was more than scared. and Im still scared. a golden tongue a raised right hand, blasphemy. I never even knew. why, just explain to me. just one time. time to put my writhing mind at peace. its ok. ill be ok. its ok. now I keep you as memory, like a melody I cant shake from my history. a tale better told as fantasy end tragedy. or maybe played out on the big screen. but not to me. no not to me. I hope one day... just so you know.. it was the end of that life. and as weak as I am I didnt do it. Always stronger than I think and more than youd credit me. With no one to guide me I flew into the sun. I am not your savior. a knight with no armor. but a castle around my heart. but theres still ways in. though Ive heard it haunted. The sun will shine again and burn away the shadows. leaving only scars. no pain. just reminders of the hardest battles never won. to remind you how you lived through everything you thought would have you come undone. and with that you realize. Ive already ...

Better then never knowing , but the deepest story’s are always - what if ❤️