Horror Review - Blog Posts

Jan + Feb Reading Wrap Up

I will be the first to admit that it’s a little late for a February wrap up when it’s nearly April, but I wasn’t planning on doing one until recently, so fuck off. 

Ushers by Joe Hill - Short Story (4 stars)

I’ve been a Joe Hill kick recently, since his new novel comes out in October. Ushers is a short story that follows a young man who can see grim reapers, and this ability affects his life in both positive and negative ways. I gave this story 4 stars. It was okay, but I don’t really like short stories for the simple reason that they are too short! It was creepy, it was well written, and an overall interesting read, so if you want something spooky, you want to give Joe Hill a shot, or you just have a free lunch break, take a gander at it. 

The Pram by Joe Hill - Short Story (3.5 stars)

Another Joe Hill short story, this entry follows a husband who comes across a supernatural pram and, as you can imagine, creepy chaos ensues. This was a fun read. I didn’t enjoy it as much as Ushers. I don’t enjoy stories that are particularly hopeless, and I also don’t fully enjoy stories where the main character is evil, an unreliable narrator, or crazy, because it tends to make me sympathize with them less. It was well written, just as Ushers was, and I would like to know more about the lore of the story. The background of the story seems so much more interesting than the story itself. 

Ancestor by Scott Sigler - Novel (3 stars)

Ancestor follows a team of experts as they attempt to craft a brand new species with the specific purpose of xenotransplantation. In the process, they create hungry entities that stalk the humans they were created to help. You’ll like this novel if you enjoyed Jurassic Park. It has a healthy balance of likable and unlikable characters. This was a fine novel. I gave it three stars. I wasn’t angry, I read it, but had I known what my experience would be, I probably would’ve gone with something else. Ancestor has the feel of a big budget action movie that you go to see on a weekday because nothing else is playing that evening. Or better yet, some random action thriller you found on Netflix that you turn on while you clean the house. It’s fine. My only major problem with the story is that the monsters weren’t scary to me. The descriptions made them sound like mutated chickens, and the image was more surreal than it was scary. I don’t know if I can recommend this. I don’t think I’m in the target demographic. You’ll probably like this novel if you enjoy James Patterson or Michael Crichton. 

Stones to Abbigale by Onision - Novel (0 stars) 

Holy shit. This was the worst book I've ever read. Ever. I’m not kidding. I read this as part of a reading challenge, and I have so many regrets. The only good thing to come out of it was my new skill of being able to stop reading books that I hate. If I start a book and I don’t jive with it, it’s a DNF now. I can’t ever get the time back that I wasted reading this garbage. At one point, I crumpled up a page, threw it in the toilet and pissed on it. Click here or here for more details. 

The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson - Novel (4.5 stars)

I’ve been hearing about Brandon Sanderson for years so I was excited to read his stuff for the first time. This book was good, had some really solid worldbuilding, but I’ll warn you, it is long and it is part of a series. The final 15% made me feel like I was on drugs and I was losing my goddamn mind. Trying to explain the ending to the uninitiated is like trying to explain Endgame to someone who has never seen a marvel movie. It would be five stars but I didn’t enjoy the pacing of the novel. For a more in-depth review, click here.

Annihilation by Jeff VanderMeer - Novel (0.5 stars)

Annihilation follows a government funded team as they enter a mysterious land afflicted with paranormal activity known as Area X. I didn’t like this book. The issue is that I don’t enjoy ambiguous stories and I didn’t know that’s what I was walking into. Who is that? What is this? What does that mean? Why is this happening? How does the story end? Who knows? Who cares?! If I’m going to devote my time to a novel, I would like to A) relate to the characters, B) understand what is going on, and C) know that there was a point to what I just read. Even stories that aren’t inherently deep, like the Fast and the Furious franchise, have a point. And the point of the Furious franchise is to entertain. The Hunger Games is a critique of elitism and power structure. A story should be about something and if it’s not about anything, it should at least try to entertain. I didn’t know what Annihilation was about or what it was trying to do. My problem with ambiguous stories is that a lot of them are pointless meanderings masquerading as deep and complex story telling. You can write virtually anything and say, “Well, it’s not supposed to make sense!” When I finished Annihilation I was left no different than the start of the story. It made me feel nothing. 

And this is a side tangent, but what is with the Snowbird thing? For the uninitiated, the main character’s husband had a nickname for her, and the nickname was Snowbird. He kept repeating it over and over again in every flashback and it annoyed me. A part of it made have been the fault of the narrator, as I listened to the audiobook and her drawl on the word made me want to slit my wrists. 

I’m left asking, what was the point? It was a six hour audiobook, why did I devote so much time listening to that when I gained nothing? Not even entertainment? I was bored and annoyed. The climax was confusing and lackluster. I saw the sequel on sale this week for 1.25 and I had to remind myself how much I hated the first book, but come on! A 1.25?! Can you think of a place where you can get a book for a 1.25? I might go back and see if it’s still there. For a 1.25 I’d buy twelve more Onision books. 

Talking as Fast as I Can by Lauren Graham - Novel (4 stars)

It should surprise nobody that I am a Gilmore Girls fan. When I discovered Lauren Graham had a memoir, I jumped at the chance to read it, and it was splendid. The novel includes dozens of anecdotes (funny, sad, and everything in between), focused on Gilmore Girls and the overarching structure of Graham’s career. I highly recommend this if you like Lauren Graham or Gilmore Girls. It’s funny, it’s touching, and I just discovered that Graham has written a fiction novel which I will be reading very soon. 

Clown in a Cornfield by Adam Cesare - Novel (3.5 stars)

Clown in a Cornfield follows Quinn Maybrook, who, after moving to a small town, finds herself trapped in a cornfield with her new friends and several chainsaw-wielding psychopaths wearing clown costumes. This was a good book, though I was a little disappointed. If you’re on BookTok, you know people have talked up this novel, and I was expecting a little more. For one thing, I didn’t feel very connected to the protagonist. We know how she feels and we know about her past, but we don’t really see a lot of her personality. In larger conversations, it feels as if she’s just a bystander. Other than that, things were okay. It was enjoyable, and I wasn’t really creeped out while reading this. It is classified as a horror, but I’d say it’s closer to a suspense novel. There’s a sequel, but I probably won’t read it. This could be a standalone novel if you don’t read the epilogue. 

Thanks for reading. I may do these monthly or bi-monthly, I haven’t decided yet.

Heart Eyes Misses the Mark

Heart Eyes (2025) directed by Josh Ruben

2/7/25 

*No Spoilers*

Horror movies are hard to make, the hardest being slasher flicks, because everyone has seen at least one in their lifetime. It’s easy to fall into the same tempo that other slasher flicks have, but what breaks my heart is when a slasher takes a unique concept and squanders it. Heart Eyes, directed by Josh Ruben, is a great example of this. 

I usually know when I won’t like a movie, I get a tingling sensation in my gut and I know I’m in for a bad time. The concept of the movie sounded interesting to me, a serial killer who targets couples on Valentine’s Day stalks enemies-to-lovers coworkers who must work together to survive. That is an interesting premise, but the execution was bland and unoriginal. 

The movie centers around Ally (Olivia Holt) and Jay (Mason Gooding), coworkers tasked with nullifying a company PR crisis on Valentine’s Day. However, when they’re mistaken for a couple by the Heart Eyes Killer, their night spirals out of control, leading to death and mayhem. 

I was hopeful during the first few minutes of the film. What I was hoping for was a darkly macabre critique on dating culture, as the opening sequence of the film made me chortle from the goofy actions of the characters who were soon slaughtered. It was a humorous sequence, but also heavy-handed and blunt with it’s jokes. This brand of humor tainted the movie, making it borderline unwatchable. I would’ve been fine with constant tongue-in-cheek jokes if they were good. But they weren’t good, none of them were, and it ruined my viewing experience. While watching this film, there were several middle-grade children in the audience and I noticed they were the only ones laughing at the ‘funny’ parts of the movie. It tried so hard to be quirky and funny, almost like a black comedy, but it wasn’t a black comedy, it was a mediocre slasher film with terrible jokes written by older folks for a younger audience. 

There was a scene that I would’ve really loved, an emotional scene where Jay and Ally’s characters were finally opening up to each other, and it would’ve been the best scene in the movie, except the entirety of it is overshadowed by the violent sex noises of the couple behind them. It would’ve been fine if you could faintly hear the couple’s moaning, but the sound guys pulled out all the stops with wet clapping sounds, sometimes louder than the actor’s themselves. Imagine the scene from Titanic where Jack dies, now picture the same scene with aggressively loud porn playing in the background. It wouldn’t surprise me if Holt and Gooding did this scene not knowing what was going to be plugged in the background, then saw the end result at the screening and were mortified. The only good scene in the entire movie was ruined by this film’s stupid juvenile humor. I love a good joke, especially raunchy ones, but this film has no idea what it wants to be. Is it a black comedy, or is it a horror film? It can’t make up it’s mind. 

You can always tell when a white person is writing a black character, you can always tell when a man is writing a female character, and you can always tell when people over the age of fifty are writing characters under the age of thirty. There were so many brainrot sentences in this film that my brain was slowly growing numb from the viewing experience. Phrases such as incel, beta, troll, sugar daddy, love language, algorithm, and shooting my shot were all used, and they were all used in a clumsy way, as if the writers weren’t used to the crazy slang the kids of today use. One character even used the sentence “incel-beta-troll” to describe the killer. It was all so painful to watch. After watching the movie, I checked to see what else the writers worked on and it did not surprise me to learn the writers behind Heart Eyes were the same masterminds who constructed Freaky (2020) and Happy Death Day 2U (2019). 

The protagonists and the killer are both extremely dumb. There are points in this movie where both Jay and Ally have a clear shot to kill Heart Eyes and they don’t pull the trigger. Even when they do, they wound him in some arbitrary place that doesn’t stop him from hurting others. Likewise, the killer has several opportunities to kill the two and blows it everytime. The killer goes from being a spectacular marksman, one who can nail a target from fifty feet away, and seconds later he can hardly hit Ally at all. Those who watched the movie might argue that the plot twist (if you can even call it that) explained this discrepancy, but it doesn’t and I would be happy to argue about it in my DMs. 

Also, I predicted who the killer was in the first twenty minutes. I also predicted the plot twist and neither of them were shocking at all. Not to mention the killer’s motivations are so vague and stupid I was angry by the time the credits rolled. 

What saddens me is that Olivia Holt and Mason Gooding are good actors, they’re a big part of the reason why I saw the movie in the first place. Their acting was a highlight of the movie. They weren’t god tier, but they were good, and getting someone to care about a two-dimensional character is hard. Holt and Gooding took two flat characters and enhanced them and that’s something I can appreciate. My only hope is that this movie does well at the box office and the two of them can move on to more apt rolls that are better suited for their talents. 

Another aspect of the movie I enjoyed was the fight scenes. They felt quick and fluid, which I enjoyed. That’s pretty much all there is to say about this disappointment of a movie. If you’re planning a Valentine’s date night go watch Companion instead. This movie is not worth your time. 

Final Grade: D

Rick Stepp (irresponsibleink@gmail.com)

Companion (2025) is a Great Critique of 'Nice Guy' Culture

1/31/25

Companion (2025) directed by Drew Hancock

*No Spoilers*

If I had to choose my favorite media trope, it would be the Relatable Robot. This trope has been used countless times, with later examples such as Terminator 2 and recent examples like Alien Romulus. Companion adds to this growing list, contributing a rogue sexbot that’s framed for murder, and despite being one month in, this might be one of my favorite movies of the year. 

Companion opens with Josh (Jack Quaid) and his girlfriend, Iris (Sophie Thatcher), who are going to a remote cabin to spend some time with Josh’s friends, Kat (Megan Suri), Eli (Harvey Guillén), Patrick (Lukas Cage), and Sergey (Rupert Friend). Iris feels off about the trip and bares a suspicion that Josh’s friends don’t like her. The truth is far more unsettling. After an unfortunate series of events, Iris discovers she’s a Companion, a robot made for subservience and intimacy. As she comes to terms with this truth, she must fight to stay alive and get home before her boyfriend and his friends murder her. 

All the actors were amazing, but the standouts were Sophie Thatcher and Jack Quaid. Thatcher’s character, Iris, must accept some terrible truths while also doing whatever it takes to survive, and Thatcher does a great job making us feel for a supposed machine. I liked her the moment she insisted Josh say 'thank you' to the Alexa in their car. From bright and earnest, to badass and scary, her range knows no bounds. Iris’s one goal is to make Josh happy, but we can sense that deep down Iris is unsatisfied with the circumstances. Quaid’s character, Josh, is a difficult one to portray, because for the story to work, he needs to present as a harmless nice guy, who actually has something nasty and depraved lurking beneath, and Quaid did a great job. You can tell through Jack Quaid’s intentional choices and actions, Josh truly believes that he is the good guy, even when his actions are deplorable.  

This movie’s true antagonist is the ‘Nice Guy.’ Josh believes he is owed something for how ‘nice’ he is. He believes the world is rigged against him, and Iris isn’t enough for him because he ‘deserves someone real.’ He’s controlling with robots and he’s controlling with humans, and his arrogance and self-entitlement lead to everything spiraling out of control. I related to Iris’s character because I think we’ve all tried to find worth in someone else, and that’s what I felt when watching this movie. Iris believes that she’ll be happy if Josh is happy, she believes she’ll feel complete, and you can feel how desperate she is to really be loved and accepted by Josh. The power dynamic in the movie shifts when Iris begins to accept herself. This movie draws on themes such as consent and personal choice, and the ending brings everything together nicely. 

Final Grade: A+

Rick Stepp (irresponsibleink@gmail.com)

Blood and Honey 2 review

**No Spoilers**

I watched Blood and Honey 2 on opening night and I was surprised. The first movie was mediocre and my hopes for the sequel were in the gutter. It seems director Rhys Frake-Waterfield worked out some kinks from the first movie. Maybe constructive criticism did its job here and Frake-Waterfield listened to the reviews of the first film. 

The first Blood and Honey film put spectacle over storytelling. The production team expected the sensationalism of the concept to carry it through and they were mistaken. Reviewing the first film in any serious capacity would be a mistake, as it’s clear they weren’t trying to make a serious film. They took the sequel more seriously, which opened the door for guys like me to tear into it. For people like me who have seen a lot of slasher flicks, Blood and Honey was nothing to write home about. During my viewing of the first film, I had to fight to stay awake. 

The sequel changed some details from the first film. For starters, this film includes characters such as Owl and Tigger, who weren’t in the public domain when the first movie was in production. I was pissed Tigger wasn’t in the first film. Tigger is the Batman to Pooh’s Superman and if anyone can tell you with a straight face they prefer Pooh to Tigger they are not to be trusted. Another change I enjoyed was the redesign of Pooh and Piglet. I understand the original design was about taking the original character of Pooh and making him scary, but you can’t tell me that Pooh is supposed to be a bear-human hybrid and then show me a man with yellow leathery skin. In this film, they updated Pooh to look more animalistic, giving him hints of fur and razor-sharp teeth. 

They also changed the leading man, recasting Christopher Robin’s character with producer Scott Chambers. The acting in this film is pretty standard. The strongest link in the crew was Tallulah Evans who had good charisma as her character Lexy. Except Lexy, the supporting roles were not greatly noticeable and they didn’t take up a lot of runtime. 

The special effects were a step up, as well. In the first film, the crummy effects made the gore look a lot less like blood and guts and more like some cheap props you could buy at a discount store. I'm surprised that Pooh didn't appear after the credits and thank PartyCity for sponsoring the movie. In the sequel, the props looked very professional. The gore looked real enough to make your stomach turn but not so real you can’t enjoy snacking during the movie. 

Character-wise, I was invested in Christopher’s story. I was rooting for him right from the beginning. This film opens with everyone in his small town believing he’s a brutal killer and that leaves him on a quest to deal with his trauma and confront his monsters (both real and figurative). I liked the supporting characters. It was very endearing to see how much Lexy and Bunny (Thea Evans) cared about Christopher and believed in him when a lot of people didn’t. 

While I was invested in Christopher’s journey, the first three-quarters of the movie dragged a bit. Christopher is on a quest for answers, so naturally, a lot of the film is him trying to get to those answers any way he can. But this is still a slasher film! During this “investigative” period, they throw in a few kills to keep us invested, but Christopher and Pooh don’t even confront each other until the final quarter of the film. 

Speaking of the kills, they were very brutal. Bear traps, exploding campers, flaming chainsaws, what fun! A lot of people may think, ‘A flaming chainsaw? That isn’t realistic!’ All I have to say is, dude, if you’re worried about how a flaming chainsaw isn’t realistic then maybe a movie about animal-human hybrids isn’t for you. 

The score was fine, but there were times when the music was a little out of place. It was disorienting to be watching a sad or frightening scene and hear music that sounded hopeful. The narrator also took the piss out of the movie. It was so jarring to watch a serious and intense scene and then to jump to narration like someone is reading a bedtime story to us. 

About that plot twist… Words cannot describe how out of left field it was. I’m glad they explained where the creatures came from, but… yikes. It was entertaining, but a bit convoluted. Also, why did Pooh have to be that character the whole time? That just complicates Christopher and Pooh’s relationship in a way it didn’t need to be complicated. They already had a troubled past together, so why make it more tragic for no reason? 

Then there was the rave scene. I almost cheered when Tigger came onto the scene. I love Tigger! Whether he’s bouncing around in a colorful cartoon or murdering people with his claws and calling his victims fluorescent bitches, Tigger is the OG of the Hundred Acre Wood. And it was so fun to see Pooh batter people around while trap music played. It reminded me of that party bus scene from Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022). I also loved how Pooh and the others kept Tigger in a cage because they knew how fucking crazy he was. 

Was it a good movie? Uh, sure? It wasn’t the best slasher I’ve ever seen but watching it wasn’t a complete waste of time. I would wait until this one hits streaming services before you go watch it. A part of me feels stupid for spending money to watch such a mediocre movie when I could have just waited for it to come to Peacock. That being said, I’m genuinely excited to see what else the Twitsted Childhood Universe has to offer. 

I believe Frake-Waterfield is self-aware about how stupid these movies are. But they’re fun to watch and I bet they’re pretty fun to make. There are worse moves to watch this weekend.

Final score = 62.5%

Rick Stepp (calebstepp23@gmail.com)

Pengabdi Setan (2017)

Pengabdi Setan, also known as Satan's Slave, is an Indonesian horror movie written and directed by Joko Anwar who also worked on other Indonesian horror films such as Perempuan Tanah Jahanam (Woman of the Damned Land aka Impetigore, 2019) and Ratu Ilmu Hitam (The Queen of Black Magic, 2019).

In the film, the matriarch who fell ill more than 3 years ago passed away under mysterious circumstances, setting a chain of horrific motions haunting her children Rini (Tara Basro), Tony (Endy Arfian), Bondi (Nasar Anuz), and Ian (Muhammad Adhiyat). Set in the early 1980s, Joko Anwar sets the mood with dim lighting and plot twists, evoking a building sense of suspense that climaxes into a horrific peak involving fertility cults and zombified pocongs.

Aside from the riveting storyline and awesome cast and crew, one thing that stuck with me is the soundtrack. Throughout the entire movie, snippets of Kelam Malam, performed by The Spouse and introduced as the matriarch's hit song early in the film, further set the mood playing throughout the movie with its haunting melody and suggestive lyrics.

The easter egg ending features Darminah who, for those who don't know, appeared in the 1980 version of Pengabdi Setan making this movie a remake, though some suggest it is also a prequel given that the 2017 setting was 1981 while the 1980 setting was 1982. Regardless, the seductive ending scene set against Diwajahmu Kulihat Bulan by Sam Saimun also set the mood for the sequel which we will see soon this year in 2022.

Happy Hauntings!

Suitable for inducting future children of the night into the horror genre, for horror fans new and old, this film is an essential viewing featuring horror icon Bela Lugosi in the titular role of Dracula.

Overall, this film has quite the suspenseful cinematographic atmosphere though it can feel a bit stiff and disconnected at times. Some of my favorite scenes involve Dracula getting out of his coffin under his creepy crypt or when the camera focuses on his eyes when he compels his victims. Honestly, Lugosi brings out the Stranger Danger!!! bell warnings every time he appears on the screen.

Aside from Bela Lugosi, I personally felt that Dwight Frye and Edward Van Sloan, who played Renfield and Dr. Van Helsing respectively, really stole the show with their acting especially Frye when portraying Renfield's madness. Sloan really brings out Dr. Van Helsing's confidence in dealing with Dracula with his arsenal of crosses and wolfsbane.

The entire movie is roughly over an hour so it's a good pick for a quick horror sesh and as I've said before, due to the lack of blood and at most, suggestive biting from Dracula himself, the movie can be a good introduction to young minds ready to be warped into the horror genre.

Happy Hauntings!

Sell Your Haunted House (2021)

Finally, an exorcist with an actual job!

Hong Ji-a (Jang Na-ra) is the CEO of Daebak Realty, a real estate agency that exorcises haunted houses or apartments plagued by vengeful spirits. Together of Oh In-Beom (Jung Yong-hwa), a scammer with special psychic abilities, she helps put those spirits to rest and help the living move on from their distress and bereavement.

The series expresses on the idea that greed and corruption often creates resentment and regret, which in turn, fuels the creation of these vengeful spirits. Only by letting go of these negative energies (in most cases, stabbing at the heart with an exorcism needle), can both the dead and the living truly move on from their uncomfortable positions.

It's a heartwarming series with a number of comedic and horror moments. The storyline is very engaging and the cast members really compliment each other, making this series a very interesting addition to your watchlist.